Rebirth

Dear Readers,  Two years, I embarked on a journey of healing due to many failed relationships. As a result I have leaned a great deal about myself and how I have contributed to these failed unions. During the the 720 days spent on self care, reading books, yoga, meditation, sitting in silence  and other forms of healing; I wrote 90 journal entries in 90 days of intense thinking. I choose to publish my journal into a book: 90 days of Reflection, discovery and Renewal…..release date for my birthday March 25, 2020. This 90 days of reflection, discovery, and renewal is a personal journey of deep contemplation and a search for answers to a life in a constant battle with tragedy, depression, and hopelessness. For some people hitting a brick wall knocks the life out of them. My collision lead to a level of clarity to understand how unnecessary distractions and being unaware caused my life to veer of course. My experiences have taught me that sometimes a second chance can lead to a new beginning.

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Since my troubles started because of relationship drama what I learned from this two year journey of healing. I no longer invite men to sleep over because my bed is my scared space. I stopped having house dates, and Netflix chill nights. I require men to call instead of texting me. Date night has to be at a decent time. I no longer except late night calls. I require to be picked up at my door and returned to my residence without the expectation of being asked to come in. I am no longer a wife in waiting as so many are sitting around waiting for Mr. Right. Done that rode that horse and was thrown to the ground too many times. I am thankful for the lessons I have learned. I choose to spend the remaining days of my life making myself priority number 1, focus on my spiritual growth, and getting close to my grandchildren. Deeply thankful that relationships with men are no longer an🥂 intrusion in my life.

 

 The Waiting game is book that challenges the relationship myths women are expected to follow and can be beneficial to men as well because it opens up our perspective on relationships and how women really feel. Great read so far. I suggest checking it out on Amazon.
👉🏽The Waiting Game 

Broken people can heal

Dear Readers, We use the word baggage when we speak about people who have been emotionally broken. Emotionally broken people have experienced certain traumatic events that effects their ability to establish a relationship. Watch my discuss on this topic and Join me for more relationship topics on my You Tube channel, Conversations with J. R. Floyd. Thank  you for watching.

Relationship Theory 101

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Dear Readers,

Most relationships happen by accident and some do not happen at all. Let me explain, I was having a conversation with a friend who happens to be a psychologist. We were talking about the relationships topics that I discuss on my You Tube Channel, Conversations with J. R. Floyd. His view on relationships is that most partnerships are not successful because people lack the knowledge of how to create and sustain the foundation for a long lasting relationship. Most people do not understand that there are stages of a relationship and how to work through these stages. Therefore, for some people this is what usually happens, people meet and they dive right into feelings, chaos creeps in then BOOM! The relationship is over leaving people to wonder what happened or did not happen. Most of the time relationships end with one or both partners feeling bitter. I am sharing this theory in hopes that people will stand back and observe the stage their relationship is in and if it is not the desired stage, then take steps bring balance into the relationship.

 

Stage 1: Romance: this is the dating or courtship process of getting to know each other without physical intimacy.

  • Most couples move to quick towards the physical aspect in the beginning staged of a relationship. People rarely take time to know whom they are sharing their bodies with. At this stage of courtship women often, feel pressured into a physical relationship before they are ready. Most women comply because they want to keep the man interested in them.

Stage 2: Power Struggle: this stage is when people recognize that they are different, and they begin to work on the dynamics of the relationship. This is the most difficult stage because the couple is trying to find balance and there is sometimes the issue of control. Meaning person wants to take the lead role while dominating the other.

  • In stage 2, the couple engage in heated arguments due to one partner wanting control: ( an equal partnership isn’t about control its about balance and compromise)

 

Stage 3: Stability, hopeful the couple is committed to building a strong partnership and they move into STAGE 3, only after they have resolved the power struggle in stage 2. Stability of a relationship happens when the couple can function as individuals for their own personal growth, but acknowledge and recognize that they are in a partnership and do things for the betterment of the relationship.

Stage 4: Commitment: At this stage, there is deeper and clearer communication about the state of the relationship and the future a couple might engage in conversations that lead to the transition to co-habitat or marriage, children, buying a house etc.

Stage 5: Co – creation this stage is where the power struggle is truly over and the building of the partnership continues after a certain number of years invested in the partnership. Each person feel secure and they moves towards investing in retirement for the freedom and security of their future.

To me, this theory makes sense and has stirred me to think about why the majority of my relationships were not successful. If an individual is not first, ground in who they are and what they want out of life; then their partnership will reflect the same disorganized as their thinking.

I hope you have enjoyed reading this information. For more relationship topics, subscribe to my You Tube Channel, Conversation with J. R. Floyd or listen to my podcast on Sound Cloud.

The sad state of relationships

Dear Readers, I have noticed a trend in relationships that people are using manipulation, dictating rules, and feel the need to control their partner. Relationships have become ownership instead of a partnership. Relationship have become a dumping ground for broken people. what happened to love, honor respect, compassion  and commitment.

What say you? Thank you for watching for more videos on relationship topics please support me by subscribing to my You Tube.

 

 

 

Hold on or Let go?

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Dear Readers, 

What are you holding onto that you need to let go of? We have all heard this phrase “let go and let go” but what is this letting go and letting god? Some people say in order to live a happy and life we need to forgive and let go of past events that keeps us stuck in emotional turmoil. Letting go is a process that takes time and for some people letting can be more painful than holding on.

What say you? Thank you for watching, please subscribe to my YouTube channel: Conversations with J. R. Floyd

Thank you.

 

The Voices

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Dear Readers, what is your internal guidance system saying to you?

I found this question difficult to answer because I was not properly introduced to my internal guidance system. Oh, I know about the feelings of being in a situation of discomfort. I know about the mistakes of not listening to that voice in my head that says, “Don’t do it this is a bad idea.” Or ignoring that feeling when you know it’s going to be a bad day, but you go into the office and it turns out to be the worst day of the week. So, if the question is referring to the inner voice or that gut feeling that we often ignore than yes, I do know something about my internal guidance system.

How much time do you spend bonding with your internal guidance system? Do you often find yourself acting on feelings instead of waiting, thinking, praying, and then listening? If you like me I talk myself out of things that I should have listened when my internal guidance system was saying “danger, danger.”  Some of the reasons why we ignore the warning voice and tugs of our internal guidance system. Because of the noise and chaos around us it drowns out our inner voice. We don’t spend enough time developing the six sense we need when the voices of our internal guidance system are in full alert. I know that this may sound corny,  but if we learn to become one with our internal guidance system this voice won’t seem foreign.  The distractions of life and chatter from other people’s opinions may be the reason why we doubt what our internal guidance system  because we don’t believe that its leading us in the right direction. Sooner than later we often discover that we are wrong not to follow our internal guidance when we are told  to run away from wrong decisions and rushed judgments.

We can call this voice whatever fits God, the universe, instincts, but if you stay too busy and become wrapped up in the distraction of life, we can become disconnected from our internal guidance system. We need the reassurance of that voice because we don’t always have the answers. Be mindful to stop get quiet and talk to your internal guidance system. You may be surprised about what you hear.

What are you inner voices are saying to you? Join me on my You Tube Channel: Conversations with J. R. Floyd for more………

 

750 words for 10 days

Dear Readers,

A few days ago I decide to join a 10 day writing challenge. Each day the group is given a writing prompt and the goal is to write 750 words or to write for 30 minutes. As of today, March 24, 2019, We are on day 6. Thus far this challenges has been an amazing experience. During this writing process I am purging myself of emotions and experiences that need to be left on the page so that I can move forward, and live life feeling lighter, free and clear from past events. I am sharing Day 4 with you. I hope that this will inspire you to look within for healing.

Day 4 prompt: Conversation with Me

The conversation I have with myself is often unkind. I’ve been hard on me because I feel that I am a failure, I have failed life, and failed to get to the place that I thought I should be. I never have a conversation with the young me because I would not know what to say to her. The young me is a distant memory. I don’t know what she wanted, dreamed and craved to be. I know that she felt that no one wanted her, she was told she was ugly, with a big forehead. The young me was bullied, touched, beaten and was confused. My conversation with me has been one of anger because I didn’t accomplish what I said I would do for self. I try to say nice things to me, but I don’t know when I lost my confidence. I say , “ self why did you lose your discipline, why did you give up, why did you allow people to beat you down.” I have always talked myself out of having the best life has to offer then I would become angry at others for enjoying what I should have been doing. I keep saying self one day we are going to…. But I never get to that day. I don’t push myself like I use to. I use to look in the mirror and say your beautiful, your body is beautiful, your smart, creative and your going to make it. So, now I’m learning to reprogram the conversation that I have with me, and not to take in the chatter from the outside. When I was younger I wished someone would have told the young me that it’s the conversation that we have with ourselves that can cause the most damage. Healing is a process and I am enjoying rewriting the script. So, What your conversation with self?