If this is your first time following me, dragthepen is dedicated to discussing issues that impact our relationships and our daily lives. Last week Monday, I was live on facebook and asked my viewers this question, When we were ordered to be sheltered in place what changes took place in their marriage, partnership, or entanglement? This discussion is focused on you about self reflection, question, have you given any thought to how you’ve changed or made changes in your life since being sheltered in place?
While enclosed in our homes we had a lot to handle trying to maintain a healthy mental and emotional balance. Now that we have had time to enjoy summer and fall and winter is fast approaching, have you taken time to think about your life and the adjustments that moving forward require you to make?
Most people don’t want down time to reflect on their lives because they may discover areas of their life that makes them uncomfortable to think about. Instead, they prefer to avoid what needs to be addressed. It takes a brave and honest person to confess weakness, struggles and disappointments.
Can you honestly look at yourself in the mirror and say to yourself that before the coronavirus rolled into town that you were 100 percent happy with all areas of your life? Or were moments when you came to the conclusion that you should reevaluate your life.
I understand that people continue to struggle with finances, unemployment, home school, working from home, eviction, and are simply concerned about their future. I’ve had conversations with family members, friends, co- workers and other people who say, “that this crisis has caused them to come face to face with areas of their life that they either avoided improving and they have regrets and hope to have a chance to make changes.”
Some people said that they regret not taking vacations and enjoying life more, they should have watched their spending and saved more money, completed their education, made an effort to work on their relationships, and complete unfinished projects, they worry over the pain caused by broken promises. I heard repeatedly from people that this crisis has called to their attention the things in life that are truly important. This nation has been through a great test this year concerning the destruction from the corona virus and racial tension and it seems that nothing is getting better, so it’s easy for people to give up.
And with all the things that people have to cope with it’s difficult for them to think about self-care. I am saying to you take a moment to think about how this crisis has changed you. What is important to you in order to move forward, make changes and create a better life. Take a moment for you.
I’ve taken advantage of this down time reading more, and I’ve discovered that I like this slower pace of life. I have decided not to go back to draining myself on the grind. I want a more focused life, working on projects that have meaning and purpose, no more filling up my calendar until I can’t breathe, I don’t have to be all things to all people. I enjoy blogging, writing books, ( My third will be released Dec). I want time to produce more YouTube videos for my channel Conversations with J. R. Floyd. I am working on my script for a documentary I will produce in the summer of 2021. Oh and the biggest change I am transitioning to a new profession. This new career move will allow me the time to pursue all the goals that I have planned.
The world has changed and it will continue to change. changes that wasn’t expected but the coronavirus has forced us to change. How are you going to move forward and embrace CHANGE?
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Despite the circumstances I hope that you have enjoyed the summer because it’s not over yet. I understand that people are concerned about summer ending. We’ve gotten caught up in enjoying being outside and feeling less stressed. You should continue to enjoy a slower pace there is no reason to begin to stir up panic about the natural changing of the season.
I know its been a difficult year, and the fear of shutting down and go back to begin sheltered in place, and facing the unknown. I admit there is cause for concern, but let me remind you about WIN, What’s Important Now. I said this many months ago when we were first ordered to shelter in place.
What’s important Now is that we have time to create a plan to continue to work from home, develop a structured schedule for home schooling, and think of ways to maintain good emotional, mental and physical health. Remember, we have struggled through a tremendous crisis, it was difficult, but once people understood the seriousness of this predicament, we did what was needed to remain stay.
I know its easier to keep a positive attitude when we can enjoy warmer weather, and spreading out makes people feel better emotionally. May I suggest looking forward to the changing seasons with excitement and enjoyment. Continue to stay safe, think about the children this situation has been especially difficult for them , maintain calmness, and start to think about how your going to structure daily life once we are indoors. In the meantime, enjoy.
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It all came down to today. This is the day. The chase is over. I am 56 years old and I have finally reached the moment of full clarity, peace and the healing process is getting better and better. The feelings of heaviness, fear, anger, and resentment these emotions and voices will no longer have the power to burden me and whisper to me that I am not worth it. My healing process began in 1992 and at the time I thought that it would take me about a year to heal from the damage of my childhood, an abusive marriage, and what I didn’t know was from years of more abusive relationships that included the intimate relationships and family and friends. Let me tell you this when you find yourself on the path to healing from emotional, sexual and physical brokenness don’t expect the people closest to you to be supportive, in some cases they are the people who will become obstacles on your journey, and you will have to make the choice to leave them behind with the rest of the wreckage.
Today is the day that I can release years of pain, suffering, anger, and the struggles of chasing after the unknown. Today is the day I understand that what kept me prisoner was how I was thinking, and becoming a slave to the idea that my life was worthless because I haven’t become the success of the American dream. I don’t own a house, a car, and I don’t make a six figure salary. I berated myself mentally for not getting it right and for having to start over and over. When I think back on how many years that I didn’t feel loved , but search for love and the whole time I didn’t love me because I thought that it was the duty of others to love me, and my anger grew when I didn’t receive love. I used sex as a means to feel. I was dead inside, but I thought sex would make me feel something, The only result of this behavior was more emptiness and being used as an object of pleasure, and not being cherished as a whole being.
Today, Friday, July 24, 2020 as I sit in my bedroom with tears flowing, pouring out all the suffering, pain, uncertainty, and years of dying over and over and reliving the same tragedy over and over, I was numb and bitter. I was a slave to depression, eating orders and carrying around the negative labels that others heaped on me because I believed them. I am not ashamed to say that I never fully experienced a mother’s love, but I am no longer going to allow that to drag me down. On July 20, 2020, we celebrated my mother’s 76th birthday and I am enjoying the relationship we presently have. I am no longer struggling, no let me rephrase that I am no longer choosing to struggle or to see life as a struggle. There are challenges, but I don’t choose to see them as a problem or a negative experience.
I am thankful for all the intimate relationships that did not work out because they were not the ones for me and each one taught me a lesson. I am thankful for all the friends that left me when I was at my darkest moment because these people enlighten me how to carefully invest in true friendship. I am thankful for this time of being alone in my own space because it has prepared me to understand who I am and to never allow loneliness to rear its ugly head to force me into the fear of running into another dysfunctional relationship so that I would be distracted from continuing on my journey of healing. I am thankful for being sheltered in place, although the world continues to be in chaos I have used this time to center myself in a state of peace. I am thankful for being able to work from home. I am thankful for the gifts and talents I have discovered that keep me free from thinking that I will spend the rest of my life a slave to punching a time clock. I am thankful for the friends and family who stuck with me through all of my drama. I am thankful for my blogging community.
Today is the day that I released that I have a wealth of experiences to share by publishing my books on amazon. I am thankful for the creations of Conversations with J.R. Floyd, that gives me a public voice on all major social media platforms to help others to heal. It’s been a bumpy and dark, but amazing journey and I know that life is better because I am making it better.
Who am I? I am J. R. Floyd , Inspirational Coach, Author, Singer, and Educator, currently works as a College Writing Consultant. A winner of the Jacob A. Weiser play-writing award for her work The Conversation. She was a freelance writer for Street News, and appeared in the gospel play Oh Lord: Why Did I get Married?She is a member of the BMCC Downtown Chorus. Performed at Carnegie Hall in the Manhattan Concert Productions: Let you Voice Be Heard, 2019. Author of The Waiting Game, A Different Flavor of Love & 90 Days of Reflection, Discovery, & Renewal.
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Good day. This is the day that Lord has made rejoice. If this is your first time following me welcome 💖. I am J. Rahshemah Floyd creator of Conversations with J. R. And the blog @ Dragthepen.wordpress. I created these forums to discuss topics that have created division between men and women, and have caused family’s to become dysfunctional. Often you will hear me on my You Tube channel discussing difficult topics that few people will address. It is the hide issues that hinder us from being true to who we are and from developing good long lasting loving relationships. My purpose is not to blame, degrade, disrespect, or to be sexist. My goal is to inform, uplift, enlightened and to empower. Today’s question, what are we as a society teaching women? We live in a culture that turns a blinds eye when women all over the world are forcing themselves to engage in sexual activity even when they are not in the mood. SOCIETY TELLS there duty to keep their man happy. Please think about the emotional and mental anguish this contributions to women becoming damaged. Thank you for reading. For more topics subscribe to my you tube channel @ Conversations with J. R. Floyd💖
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So, the count down to the New Year ( 2020) has begun and many people are feeling the anxiety of an approaching new year. You are not alone in your HOPES that maybe a ” New Year” will being more joy, happiness, adventure, and less drama. There is absolutely noting wrong with HOPING, but if our not putting the effort, time, energy, work, and developing a plan of how your going to make the change you desire. Are you aware of why you haven’t had a better quality of life?
Before the ending of 2019, have you sat down in deep contemplation about the obstacles, mental and emotional baggage that you continue to carry into each ” New Year”, yet you keep HOPING. A new number or a new year isn’t going to change any of the situations in your life unless you change. Don’t expect the people or situation around you to change if your not willing to get clear and understand that you can’t continue behaving in the same manner expecting new results.
If you continue to walk the same path than this means you have become stagnate and complacency has set in. So, just using lip services of wishing for change isn’t going to bring about the beauty of a new life. If your living in FEAR of the unknown then letting go of the old in exchange for the new isn’t for you.
Here is a question to ask yourself, How bad do you want or need change? Look around do you like what you see?
How many times are you going to confuse secretly to yourself, ” I am so tried of this?” Whatever your ” This ” is making unless New Years Resolutions will help to bring change if you don’t take control of your life. The conversation needs to take place with yourself. I had a dear friend and co worker, who recently celebrated her 56th birthday by taking a cruise, she passed away on that cruise, and the lost was shocking to all of us who knew her. The point is she made everyday that she lived count. She’s been taking two cruises a year since 2008, This was her way of seeing the words and experiencing the joy, excitement and adventure of life.
This is your life, your the writer of the script and you can change, edit, revise as much as you want to until you have what you can called ” Your Best Life”. nothing is perfect and it never will be, but haven’t you waited long enough?
The wait is over the choice is yours.
HAPPY 2020 from DRAGTHEPEN