Vacation Reflection

Dear Readers,

While on vacation in California between touring the sites of Los Angeles, Beverley Hills, and Santa Monica and chilling on Venice beach, I allowed myself time for reflection. As your reading this you might ask yourself who goes on vacation for reflection? The purpose of a vacation is to take a mental break from the troubles of reality; and to escape into a temporary world where all things are possible.

A vacation means downtime from the regular routine, grind and mental chaos. I ask you to take moment and think about what would happen if you scheduled a little time for quiet reflection.
Reflection isn’t a difficult task versus the task of thinking about all the unsolved situations you left at home. Instead, reflect on certain areas of your life or perform a quick check list of where you are spiritually, emotionally, are your relationships serving a positive purpose in your life, how is your health, finances, career, what does your golden years look like ? Are you living up to your full potential , or stuck in a rut of going through the motions just to get through each day?

How many of us go on vacation to far exotic places only to do a count down of the days until you have to return to ” that life”. You secretly wish that you can remain in the mode of vacation because decision-making is easy, you eat, play, sleep, more fun, eat, play and sleep. On vacation relax time is in abundance there is no rushing to meet deadlines, solve family problems while trying to make time to get to the ” To Do List”.

Here is the truth of the situations. If your on vacation running around trying to cram as many activities you can in a short amount of time; you wake up early, rush to get to the places you want to see. And if your traveling with children you will find yourself trying to solve their problems by keeping them busy. The conflict between you and your spouse because he or she wants to be left alone, but you insist they join in on the fun. Stop. Isn’t this the same chaos you planned a vacation to get away from? If you return home more exhausted, mentally and emotionally drained than when you left for your vacation, it is time for reflection. Vacations don’t have to be jammed packed with ” fun things” to do everyday. What happened to the down time?

Vacations can be perfect time to reflect on why there seems to be too much chaos, and not enough balance between relax time and the busy hectic days of worrying about life. Before my trip to Los Angeles, I planned my days. I traveled with a friend who felt that he too could benefit from a different scene and time for reflection. It was our first time in California, we stayed in a comfortable Airbnb. First full day, we spent the entire day at Venice Beach. The second day we woke late, walked to a coffee spot and enjoyed sitting, talking, and taking our time. We spent the remaining of the day exploring downtime Los Angeles. The third day we woke late and stayed In and did our separate work, I am a teacher, blogger, writer and public speaker. My travel partner is a social worker and he is designing a new website dedicated to social issues. He said the vacation allowed him the time he needed to relax and to focus on his new career. Day four we took a two hour bus tour, dinner and walked the three miles back to our Airbnb.

We both agreed that we where going back to New York City relaxed and in a clearer state of mine. I look forward to my next mini vacation the last week in August before the fall school semester begins. I have reserved a cottage in Virginia Beach.

When was the last time you had downtime for deep reflection?

 

 

Hold on or Let go?

Dear Readers, 

What are you holding onto that you need to let go of? We have all heard this phrase “let go and let go” but what is this letting go and letting god? Some people say in order to live a happy and life we need to forgive and let go of past events that keeps us stuck in emotional turmoil. Letting go is a process that takes time and for some people letting can be more painful than holding on.

What say you? Thank you for watching, please subscribe to my YouTube channel: Conversations with J. R. Floyd

Thank you.

 

Whats your Relationship Status?

Dear Readers,

New Flash!! Did you know what kind of relationship your in?  I never thought about this question until I had a conversation with  a group of Millennial’s about relationship status. I wasn’t prepared for their openness and the nonchalant manner they view relationships. Did you know that we live in a society where relationships have titles and definitions. Gone are the days of boy meets girl, boy likes girl, boys asks girl to go steady, she says yes, and the rest is history…. This method of dating worked for my parents they were marred for 32 years.

Here’s a fact: People are emotionally scared because they invest time, energy, money and their emotions into what they perceive to be an exclusive relationship only to discover that they were in a SITUATION, instead of a relationship.

These are some of the classifications of relationships that is now viewed as situations.

1. Just kicking it.
2. Friends with benefits
3. complicated
4. Side piece
5. Lets just see what happens
6. Mr. or Mrs. for right now
7. Just something to do
8. Open relationship
9. In between relationships
10. Undecided

So, What Say you? Because I am at a loss for words.

J. R, Floyd Host of YouTube: Conversations with J. R.

Splitting the Difference

Dear readers,

When a marriage ends in divorce, its sad, devastating and disruptive. Deciding who gets custody of the kids, pets and dividing finances equally, for some couples is difficult to negotiate. In the middle of this unsettling event , is friends and in-laws trying to determine how to split their loyalty between two people who they have formed an emotional bond to.

Regardless of the reasons a couple conclude that  their marriage has to end; they don’t factor in the emotional affect and mental anguish a divorce causes to the relationships outside the marriage. Choosing who takes the china, mini van, and the bed might be easy. However, there is no uncomplicated way to select who gets to keep which friends or how to carry on a relationship with the ex-in-laws.

My parents were married 32 years before my farther died. Twenty-two years later, my mother, is still in contact with his family. She has attended weddings, baby showers, graduations, and funerals. Many of my mother and fathers family and friend have moved back to South Carolina or North Carolina, but they have managed to say in connected with one another.

I know that death of a spouse is not the same of a divorce. The point I’m trying to make is,if death doesn’t affect the relationships with the extended family and friends  then why should a divorce be any different? I’m just say.

What Say You?

The Visitor

 

Greetings from the Mad Dater, There is no dating news to report, but I do have this to say.

Have you ever found yourself in a relationship with a visitor? Meaning, a person who shows up like a guest. The visitor, will claim to be committed to the relationship, but not as a full-time partner. The visitor, will make an appearance only when the time is convenient for them. Dating a visitor is like being at a pit stop; they will come through to have their needs attended to, and before you can blink they are gone.

The visitor, can also appear and disappear in and out of a relationship like a magician. Being in a relationship with a visitor, is emotionally and mentally draining.  So, the next time you observe yourself being in a relationship with a visitor, put out the no vacancy sign.

What Say You?

Stay tune for part two…. The Representative