Look Back & Moving Forward

Dear Readers, sometimes looking back can bring clarity to moving forward. Reflection time.

Have you ever had a moment when you heard a song, or looked at old pictures that made you reflect on the obstacles you have overcome? 

What triggered my moment of reflection was the simple task of ordering dinner. For some people ordering dinner is not a big deal. There was a time when I used to think that people who ordered dinner were lazy. The real truth is I didn’t think I was worth giving myself a break from cooking. I thought I was wasting money. Money that I worked hard to earn, and as crazy as it might seem at the time I wasn’t aware that some of that hard earned money should be spent on me. 

When I think back on how badly I treated myself feeling that some of the good things in life I wasn’t worthy of. All I did was work and worried about paying bills and having enough. I was in a horrible cycle of lack. The conversation I had with myself was about all the things that I shouldn’t buy and places that I couldn’t afford to go. I grind myself into debt, and no savings, which lead to more negative self conversations about lack. I became increasingly angry.

I watched with envy as others around me enjoyed life and I wondered what was their secret? I was jealous of women who wear nice clothes, designer bags, manicured nails, and stylish hair, oh and did I mention the killer makeup. 

I don’t know what I was thinking or why? Back in the day before I lost myself in the world of becoming a achiever by acquiring a college education and joining the crabs in the barrel crawling my way up the ladder of success; thus buying into someone else’s version of the ” American Dream,” but in my case my struggles lead to a ” nightmare.”  I got so caught up in a fantasy and   forgot to live, and enjoy the moments that gave me pleasure, instead I was looking for the big bang. 

Well it took hitting a few brick walls to shake me back into reality. I never achieved the level of success by society standards, instead, I discovered my purpose, I deeply enjoy teaching, blogging, creating podcasts and  my YouTube channels ( conversations with J R Floyd), and soon to be author of two more books. I am finally learning how to be comfortable with the person I am and it’s amazing. 

This summer ( 2021) I am going to achieve one of my biggest dreams on my bucket list. I am driving cross country from New York City to California, stopping at Mount Rushmore and the Grand Canyon. Yes, I am going to take the famous route 66. I am 57 years old and the days of putting off living life is over. I can retire at the age of 62, in the meantime, I am building a tiny in a city with a warm climate where I can continue to write, lecture and travel. 

I can’t make up for lost time, but I can enjoy the road ahead. 

Thank you for stopping by dragthepen

Available on Amazon

Available on Amazon

The workplace blues.

 

Dear Readers,

Once upon a time people treated their work space and place of employment like it was their home. But time have changed and so have people’s attitude about their place of employment. Back in the day a persons place of employment was considered to be a part of a second family. People where more relaxed and thier surrounding reflect an atmosphere of being at home. People personalize their work space with family pictures that told the story of their life, and other employee where Interested in each others lives,  and took time to show that they cared. Most people remained at their places of employment until retirement. They didn’t feel the need to seek out growth outside of the company because growth within a company was encouraged. Back in the day people enjoyed their lunch and coffee breaks it was a period of the day to leave the work environment and take a moment to distress. In the good old days of 9 to 5 people weren’t pushed to muilti task and to perform like machines. Once the clock chimed 5 the work day was over and people looked forward to going home to have dinner with their families. Carpooling was common among employees and it wasn’t viewed as an unpleasant chore. Carpooling was another way that people spend time taking, connecting and sharing.

Fast forward….

Nowadays, people are spending an excessive amount of time at their place of employment and less quality time at home. The work place has dramatically changed  the mannerisms and atmosphere is the employees versus the employer. Upper management controls all the swanky offices that reflect the position of power and money, while the people who do the difficult tasks are down in the trenches reduced to working in shabby make shift cubicle that doesn’t allow them the space to make themselves comfortable. People are separated by teams and are pitted against each other, and upper management controls who they deem the weaker employees by the use of fear. There is a level of distrust because of the office or company ” snitch.” Budget cuts and companies downsizing employers are asking employees to do more with less. People are afraid to speak out in fear of retaliation from upper management. Very few people view going to their place of employment with joy and enthusiasm. And the newcomers are forced to join established cliques in order to show their loyalty.

The bottom line is this we are all connected and each member of the team should be viewed as an equal despite the pay gap. Think about this we buy clothing every day. Have you ever given thought to the people who make the fabric, the person who sews the garment, and the people who package them for shipping. They men and women who load and unload the trucks, the sales associates who unpack, label and arrange the clothing in the store. Oh and let’s not forget the stockroom crew who work behind the scenes. We are all connected. I say lets go back to making our place of employment an atmosphere of enjoyment.

what say you?

Dragthepen

Gratiude

Dear readers,

Today, I am grateful for my life. I’ve been observing the life style of some of my family and friends, and sometimes I secretly  wished that I had what they have. But upon close investigation, I’ve come to understand that most of them  that I’ve watched with the GREEN EYES of ENVY  with all  their material assets; house, cars, trips, expensive clothes, and other accessories, some of them lack peace and freedom. Let me explain, they seemed happy with all that they have gained, however, while a rare lunch date with my best friend, she confirmed my assumption, when she said, ” There are days that I wished that I could live like you.” I didn’t respond because I was thinking, she has a house, two cars, three beautiful children, and a husband who provides for her. She must be mad, I worked two jobs, ride public transportation ( took  on the second job to save for a car), and I haven’t been in a relationship for six years.

Before I could question her, she continued. “I love my family, but I wished that I would have waited to live my life. You live free of the burdens of having to find a baby sitter for three kids in order to have date night, which is rare, or to go out with the few friends I have. Your house is always clean and quiet. In my house, I constantly hear  voices, asking and demanding my time and attention. I’m totally depended on my husband financially and at time he is tight with money.Besides begin married for 15 years, having my children, I have nothing to show for what I have accomplished beyond my marriage. You travel, paid your way through college, published a book, your self-sufficient, and unlike the rest of the women in our circle you didn’t settle. When you marriage wasn’t working, you left and didn’t look back. Anyway, girl I’m venting, how is the new book coming?”

We continued to eat  lunch and talked about my next book. We parted ways and when I arrived home, put the key in my door to be greeted by my  dogs wagging tail of excitement, It was a that moment that I knew that I haven’t been grateful for my life. I have all that I need and my life is the exactly the way it should be.

What do you have to be grateful for?