Real Men Versus Real Women

The truth behind who is who.

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A real man versus a real woman

The phrases “ real man and real woman” have been bestowed upon a selected few because of others in the society who feel that they possess qualifications to distinguish what constitutes who is “real.” Meaning, who is not an imitation, artificial or genuine. I see postings on Facebook like; a real woman can handle a busy man…, being a real man doesn’t mean you sleep with 100 girls…

People let’s get back to basic and look at the facts, life is filled with every day regular people, and it doesn’t take a person with a higher level of consciousness to understand that as individual we have different life experiences, which shaped us into who we are. Instead of standing in judgement of your sisters and brothers, come down off your high horse, take your nose out of the air and teach those who exhibit behavior that is unbecoming of a man or woman.

That’s what “real” people do!

What say you?

Disconnected

Dear Readers,

A strange occurrence took place a few days ago and it left me shock, bewildered, which lead me to deeply ponder about this advanced age of technology and how disconnected we are. It all started when I left my cell phone at my evening gig. I picked up an extra shift on Monday, October 14, Columbus day. In my haste to catch my train on time I left my cell phone and I refused to go back to retrieve it. I know that some people would rather be flogged than go without their cell phone, but I am not most people. This occurred on Monday and I didn’t retrieve my phone until Wednesday. I  do not have a back up phone and I was prefectly fine without it. I did not panic about missing calls, texts, Snapchat etc. I was confident that if my family couldn’t reach me they would simply called my business number. What did I do without my cell phone, what I always do nothing.
I am not one of those people who are joined at the hip with my cell phone. When I told people I went without my cell phone for 24 plus hours they looked at me in horror. One person declared that their life is inside of their phone and couldn’t image being without it. I said, my life is in my lungs and heart beat not in a mechanical device. I simply didn’t see the big deal. When I finally had the time to pick up my cell phone I was dreading all the calls, texts, voice mails etc.. that I would read and respond to. After charging my dead phone I was ready for all hell to break loose. I waited in vain. I had the sum of 1 text message and 1 voice mail. A part of me was relieved and the other part of me was confused. I thought what if I went another day without the means to communicate by cell phone would some become concern? Having so little calls and text messages what does this mean about the people who are in my contact list?

I though girl, stop being dramatic. No, I am not being a drama queen. What if I was injured, lost, kidnapped or worst deceased who would know? I had a sense of profound loneliness the feeling of being disconnected and unimportant. Today is Thursday, and my phone is still quiet. Does this mean that I reach out to people more than they do? I tried to convince myself, self your over reacting or am I? The bottom line is its not about not having my cell phone because there are other means people can contact me. Do I means so little to the people in my circle? I make it a habit to check on  family and friends at least one a week, by voice mail, text, or email. Its been a week since I sent my youngest sister a Thinking of you card, but she didn’t call to say if she received the card. I know in general people are busy, but do we use the excuse of being busy to the point its has lost its merit?
Should I wait until some one calls, text, email or Snapchat? When they do should I bore them with the saga of me beginning disconnect from what people refer to as a ” life line”? Or should I put the ordeal and my emotions aside and just say, “hello glad to hear from you, how’s life”.

What Say you?

There is Light at the End…..

Dear readers,

I’ve with stood many years of towing the line so to speak. I worked my way through college with this grand idea that a college education would net me a job, not a career path, but a job paying me loads of money. Great dream if we lived in a perfect world. My life didn’t turn out the way that I had planned. For years, I toiled trying to climb up the “ladder” of success. I arrived to work early, stayed late, came in on my day off, and performed tasks that no one would do because they said, “its wasn’t within their job description.” Time and time again I didn’t get the promotion that I worked to obtain. When I questioned those, in position to help me to upgrade my position, I was told that I didn’t meet the education or experience requirement. Nonetheless, I pushed harder to be noticed with no success. I spent years being angry because I felt that “they “won’t give me a chance, “they “were holding me back, “they “were evil…. the thoughts in my head went on and on and on. The road to finding my true purpose began two years ago with a simple Valentine’s Day Facebook posting, that led to my first blog.  With each post, something amazing started happening I found my voice. Not my speaking voice, the voice of my pen. While on a two-year journey, of rediscovery It turns out that my calling is to become an English professor, playwright, author, mentor and motivational speaker. I am amazed, and at times speechless. I wrote an award-winning play, a first-time author, and on the career path to becoming a college professor. A few years before these changes happened I felt hopeless, and too old to reinvent myself.  Now, I face each day with the happiness of knowing that I have more than a job or career, I have purpose.  Thank you for listening.

Can You Hear Me Now?

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Dear readers,

I received your text, email and Facebook message, but what I did not hear was your voice. I’m okay with the advancement in technology, in the words of my partner, “people have to keep up with modern technology, or be left behind,” he said this, when he shut off my landline, and brought me my first mobile phone four years ago. I was also, okay with not being a slave to this little compact communication device.

Before texting, people actually “reached out and touched someone,” by calling; and they were conscious of how they used their phones due to the high cost. Now, many phone carriers encourage customers to text and talk with low-cost unlimited plans. People are busy looking down playing games, reading, texting, searching, googling, and video chatting. Yes, now we can see the person we are talking to because they have an app for that.

What Say You?

Privacy in Relationships

 

b2ace-news-flashDear readers, Greetings from the mad Dater,

People make up too many relationships rules in order to control their partners.Some of these rules read like the Ten Commandments. Thy shall not have any other friends but me. Thy shall go out and have fun without me. Thy shall  not have any privacy. Healthy boundaries should be established in any relationship, whether it’s between mother and daughter, father and son or an intimate connection between a man and a woman. People take these word, ” we are one” too serious to the point of being overbearing.

Question, should one partner have the right to snoop, open mail, check cell phone,hack into emails, inspect  their mates social media page, listen in on phone calls, to be clingy and a stalker?

It is not  a matter of being an open book, as some people claim we should be in a relationship. It’s not about keeping secrets,  I am not referring to being  deceitful. It’s about putting things in perspective. We don’t OWN our partners, and giving each other the proper space and alone time is good for both parties involved, its called growth.

There is a reason why its my phone, snail mail, Facebook page, etcetera. There  will be a sharing, a person should have the freedom and time to open up, so to speak, without the fear of being interrogated to satisfy their partners insecurities.

WHAT SAY YOU?

Photos taken by aahman_-2