When did We Lose Our Way?

Dear Readers

My heart is burdened when I look around and see people struggling with loneliness. I live in New York City” The Big Apple.” The city that never sleeps with eight million stories to tell. The loneliness I refer is not related to being without that special someone who makes your heart throb. This loneliness is deep, painful, and it robs people of the pleasures of life. Why should people be lonely when they a family connection, but these days the distance between is getting wider the reason they claim to be busy or holding onto foolish grudges. Lonely people say they have friends, who do not visit and rarely call, so what is the since in continuing to call them friends? 

Most people who experience loneliness belong to houses of worship, where the commission is to ” love your neighbor as thy self” However, I have observed this special spiritual love is given while attending service, outside of fellowship the bond of love does not seem authentic. It is the same with coworkers, people who are employed at the same company for years even decades, forming friendships, attending events outside of together, and supporting each other through tough times and celebrating the best of times. Only for these bonds to be broken when someone retires or moves away. What happened? Did the friendship or relationship 

People say they are lonely in their marriages and other relationships how can this be, what are husbands, wives and significant others longing for that they do not already have? What happened to the way we used to be? You know like back in the day when no one questioned the importance of family and staying connected. I watched my mother, father, aunts, and uncles form friendships that lasted a lifetime. People took pride in bragging about being in friendship for 20, 30, 40 years. The old folk’s bond of friendship was strong, loyal, and unshakable, sometimes people would forget when friendship ended, and lifelong friends became family. 

It is sad to see people eating alone, traveling alone or home alone because they just do not want to go out and be amongst people, just to be alone. What is it? Is it that people are wrapped up in their lives that taking time to make meaningful connection with family and friends is too much of a task? In my case I gave up. I stopped texting, calling, emailing, blocked people from social media, I called it quits. I remember how long my holiday card list used to be. I would send out no less than 40 cards or more last year 2021, I sent ten. I became weary of traveling to visit others, but they never considered coming to me. 

So, here I am, I have made peace with loneliness. I will not allow myself to be burden by dark clouds or get teary-eyed when I see families or couples enjoying time together. Being alone is difficult, but I have learned to enjoy the authentic people in my life, and I do not give any connection to people labels, like friend or girlfriend. I am grateful for my few good traveling friends. I have decided to do just what the motto says, “live in every moment” of joy that I create.

My hope for the people who are reading this reconsider slowing down and spend meaningful time reconnecting to family and friends, especially the elders they are precious to the foundation of our family. Do not wait for the special occasions there is no time like the present. 

Photo by Magda Ehlers on Pexels.com

The Lost Foundation of the Family

Dear Readers, Hope all is well with you. It’s March Women’s herstory month, a time to honor women past, present and future for their sacrifice, voices, and contributions that has made it possible for women to be heard, achieve and to be seen.  

Today’s topic is about Family. People say that family is blood, but  sometimes this is not always the case. Some people argue that the original make up of  the family is a man and woman who come together ❤ and produce children allowing generations to live on. It’s ok to have your opinion about who makes a family. I am concerned about the lost foundation of  the family because  Families that have been divided, broken and destroyed causing us to live in an imbalanced society.  

My siblings and myself  have had the good fortune to be raised at a time when two parent homes were the norm with the support of extended family members. And I  like to add that the ” village we were raised by ” children of my generation had to respect the adults in that village without question. People say that ” family is every ” or ” without family a person has nothing.” If these sayings are true then why are Families struggling to stay together? 

Over the years I’ve often wondered what  happened to the foundation of family? And why are there others who are creating their version of family? Why is one parent households increasing, grandparents raising grandparents children, and children raising children without the support of family. Fathers walking away from family, mother’s pushing husbands out the door; and baby mamas fighting for child support. Broken marriage due to husbands and wives having  one foot inside the home and the foot outside. Families have been destroyed by lies, secrets, grudges, and competition between the haves and have nots.

Mother’s want to be their children’s best friends trying to relive their youth, instead of  nurturing, guiding, protecting their children. Fathers are fascinated with  new rides and spend weekends glued to their wide screen television watching sports, allowing the burden of raising the children to fall on a frustrated mother. This is a recipe for failure and chaos in the home.

Children of this generation are allowed to roam the streets with no curfew. I shake my head and reflect back to how I was raised. People from my generation understood what time it was when the street light came on. Children of this generation talk back to their elders, and engage in physical fights with family members calling the cops because society has given them the power over their guardians.

Shall I go on? 

Family gatherings are not what they used to be because of the rivalry between family members, so somebody isn’t going to receive an invitation. Here is the best one: families who unite at funerals making big speeches vowing to do better and mend the division in the family. We all know that this is just a big show and people are either depressed by the death of a loved one or had one too many drinks at the repass.

I think by now you understand where I am going with this. My intention is to bring awareness about the lost foundation of the family as a social issue because when a family becomes broken it leaves a wound in a society that is already bearing the scars of a population of emotionally wounded people lost and feeling hopeless and disconnected.  

 There you have it, my thoughts on the lost foundation of the family.

Thankyou for stopping by dragthepen

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Thoughts from the Mad Dater

blog 7-01

Its Sunday, a beautiful warm spring day in New York City.  There are many events taking place throughout the five boroughs. I want to go out and explore, instead of staying home alone doing the same old things. While writing this  I am sitting in my back yard, sipping coffee, and reminiscing about the things I miss about having Him in my life. Things like planning date night or a weekend getaway. The excitement of time spend with Him deepening  the bond between us. I miss having Him make the coffee, and cooking weekend breakfast together. Doing the Sunday Times crossword puzzle with Him, instead of with the computer or dictionary.

Today is a good day for strolling through the park or a street fair holding hands with Him. I miss eating brunch and laughing at His corny jokes.. I don’t get flowers anymore, of course I buy them for myself; but,  I miss getting flowers from Him just because…. I’ve spent many weekends, Valentines days, holidays, weddings and other family gathers, watching couples smiling, laughing, sharing warmth and love; and I wonder, when will I meet the one that is just right for me? To hug Him at the end of  the day, to have His smile greet  me at the start of the day. Him, my best friend, confidant, my road dog, partner in crime, my equal, my lover, and husband. Him.

Dear Readers, if you have that someone special in your life, never take them for granted, love and always forgive the little things, hold hands, share hugs when ever possible, remember why you were attracted to them, and make every moment count because LONELINESS IS A KILLER.

WHAT SAY YOU?

When

Dear readers,

Don’t live your life singing the” When” song.  Most people think  they that need certain conditions in their life to be happy. Although, in some cases this may be true, but putting off certain goals that we have control over only leads to time wasted and regrets. Don’t be one of those people who say things like, when I acquire an education I will be happy. When I earn more money then I can travel and see the world. When I move into a better house then I can enjoy myself. When I lose the weight then I will look better. When my children grow up then I can concentrate on my life. When I save up a certain amount of money then I will feel secure. When I have time I will start or finish that project. When….When…. the time to live life is now. Each day we should experience something new, and  most importantly, make time for the people in our life who truly matter. The time is now….. When may never come.

What Say you?

J. R. Floyd

amazon.com/author/rahshemahfloyd

 

Blended Families

Dear readers,  Thank you for tuning into another of my videos from my YouTube channel, Conversations with J. R. Floyd.  In this video I have the pleasure of interviewing a wonderful sister, friend, wife, mother, and minister. Ms. Ty’East Bobb will give her view on how to have a successful  blended family.

 

 

 

 

A house is not a Home

Dear readers,

When most people hear the words Home Alone, this is the image that comes to mind.

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The chaos of a frightened little boy left behind by his family, trying to fend-off burglars.

Home Alone can be just as terrifying for countless individuals, who have lost or never found their Soul Mate. No matter how large, small, shabby, or gloriously chic the outer frame or decorative interior; these things do not make a house a home. It’s the sound of laughter and tears, children playing or squabbling; the sweet aroma from the meal of the day, and the barking of the family dog wanting to go out.

Home is the place for happy family gatherings and sometimes moments of sorrow. Where babies take their first steps, and grow up to descend the stairs on prom night. A home is where childhood memories are made, where Mom and Dad dance alone at night after they put the kids to bed. Home is where grandparents return to live out their last days surrounded by familiar faces.

Home Alone means no voices, no memories, just silence. Each day becomes the same, and everything becomes one.  One cup, plate, fork, spoon, napkin, meal…. until one becomes none.

Home Alone

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What Say You?

 

The missing Link: thoughts from the mad Dater

blog 7-01

Its Sunday, a beautiful warm spring day in New York City.  There are many events taking place throughout the five boroughs. I want to go out and explore, instead of staying home alone doing the same old things. While writing this  I am sitting in my back yard, sipping coffee, and reminiscing about the things I miss about having Him in my life. Things like planning date night or a weekend getaway. The excitement of time spend with Him deepening  the bond between us. I miss having Him make the coffee, and cooking weekend breakfast together. Doing the Sunday Times crossword puzzle with Him, instead of with the computer or dictionary.

Today is a good day for strolling through the park or a street fair holding hands with Him. I miss eating brunch and laughing at His corny jokes.. I don’t get flowers anymore, of course I buy them for myself; but,  I miss getting flowers from Him just because…. I’ve spent many weekends, Valentines days, holidays, weddings and other family gathers, watching couples smiling, laughing, sharing warmth and love; and I wonder, when will I meet the one that is just right for me? To hug Him at the end of  the day, to have His smile greet  me at the start of the day. Him, my best friend, confidant, my road dog, partner in crime, my equal, my lover, and husband. Him.

Dear Readers, if you have that someone special in your life, never take them for granted, love and always forgive the little things, hold hands, share hugs when ever possible, remember why you were attracted to them, and make every moment count because LONELINESS IS A KILLER.

WHAT SAY YOU?