Are You a Passive Participant in your Life?

Dear Readers, 

By now you should be familiar with who I am and what I do. Recently, I posted my welcome video to Conversations with J. R. Floyd, my latest project on my YouTube channel, decided to issues that impact our intimate relationships and explore problems that destroy families. This month ( July 2020)  I am celebrating my 2nd anniversary for my  YouTube channel, and my path to healing years of emotional and spiritual brokenness. At the beginning of 2020, I asked my viewers, readers, bloggers, and supporters to join me in this year’s Theme of writing letters to self. This idea came to me while I was penning my third book, 90 Days of Reflection, Discovery and Renewal. During my journey of journaling for 90 days, I discovered that there were areas of my life that I thought that I had healed, but certain events in my life brought to my awareness that I need to revisit some old wounds that really hadn’t healed completely.   

I have written letters to myself, to people, ( My mother and father), to my supporters, to life, and to love, however, I never sat down and wrote a letter addressed to me. I spent years walking through life in a fog, meaning that my life had no direction nor did I have any good role models to support me. I walked around in darkness and pain, but  I wasn’t aware that I was suffering, I covered up my pain and distress by engaging in one bad relationship after another. I worked out like a fiend and stick to a strict vegetarian diet. I wanted everyone to see that I had my life together, but the truth was I would go home and fall to my knees in tears because wearing masks was exhausting. 

It wasn’t enough that I had worked my way through College, an accomplishment that I never celebrated because I wanted others to praise me and put me on a petals, and when this didn’t happen the seeds of anger were planted. When I didn’t get my dream job or what I thought was my dream,  the seeds of anger sprouted into buds of resentment.  It never dawned on me that I was spewing my bitterness at the wrong people. I didn’t know that I was supposed to create the life I wanted, instead, I was under the impression that life was supposed to bring me what I wanted just by me thinking it. I thought that if I was a “ good girl” and did all the right things, walk a “ good path” that all things good would come to me. So, I wasted years of my life hoping, wishing, praying, crying and wondering when am I going to catch a break? All this time I didn’t understand that I was a passive participant in my own life. It wasn’t until someone said to me, “ you don’t wait for people to give you an opportunity, you make your own” that Was in 2014. Since that time I’ve become an active participant in my own life.

The change didn’t happen overnight and I have had some setbacks, but the lessons and the progress I’ve made in the last three years is amazing. Blogging, publishing my own books, living my dream of singing in a classical chorus, traveling, creating my YouTube channel, and my latest project a new website Conversations with J. R. Floyd. I teach vision board workshops and coach people how to make their visions for their life a reality. I go to bed each night with a sense of purpose and accomplishment. Pursuing an intimate relationship is no longer a priority. I surrounded myself with people who encourage and support my life vision and growth. I cherish my new found peace and clarity, and looking forward to the new change in my career as a Case Planner working with children in foster care. My first love will always be teaching, but it is time for change. 

  

Thank you for stopping my dragthepen

        

both of my books are available on Amazon

Do I have to make a Choice?

 

Dear Readers,

To be a Good girl or Bad girl, this is a question I’ve been asking myself and others. The choice should be easy, being a good girl people automatically assume she will get the guy. On the other hand, those who choose the path of the bad girl, there is a certainty that she will be alone, after all nobody likes a bad girl, right?

The answer to this question depends on what people’s perception of what  being a good or bad girl means.  For instant, lets say a good girl, is intelligent, has a respectable reputation, she is honest, compassionate, easy to like and gets alone well with others. She dresses in a modest but stylish manner and is every mans dream girl to take home to his mother.

On the flip side, the bad girl has a poor reputation, she will lie, con and scam  anyone to get what she wants. She is selfish, not well liked, often  called the “B” word, she dresses like a slut,n and doesn’t care about any man’s mama because she is all about the man. Good girls lack world experience because she saves herself for Mr. Right, so she waits. Bad girls have been around the block so to speak. She thinks that each man she encounters is Mr. Right, until he proves that he is Mr. wrong then she moves on. Good girls date one man at a time. Bad girls go through men like how a family of eight goes through toilet paper, FAST.

Good girls are known to be people pleasers, she wants to be liked by everyone. Bad girls, think only of themselves and they use people to satisfy  their needs; other people’s needs is not their concern. Good girls are polite and have excellent conduct.  Bad girls are rude and they lack class and proper etiquette.

With all this said, in the end I have observed good girls, meet, date and marry men who disrespect them, take their kindness for weakness, and dislike the idea that she has  a higher level of  intelligence than him. In the mean time, bad girls have multiple men pursuing them , they get what they want from men, and  marry men who they can control.

I don’t know which one of these girls I want to be. I do know this, I desire to have a decent, honest compassionate, romantic, faithful, educated ( well read), domestically capable and relationship ready man.

What say you?

 

Do I have to make a Choice? Questions from the Mad Dater

 

 

Dear Readers,

To be a Good girl or Bad girl, this is a question I’ve been asking myself and others. The choice should be easy, being a good girl people automatically assume she will get the guy. On the other hand, those who choose the path of the bad girl, there is a certainty that she will be alone, after all nobody likes a bad girl, right?

The answer to this question depends on what people’s perception of what  being a good or bad girl means.  For instant, lets say a good girl, is intelligent, has a respectable reputation, she is honest, compassionate, easy to like and gets alone well with others. She dresses in a modest but stylish manner and is every mans dream girl to take home to his mother.

On the flip side, the bad girl has a poor reputation, she will lie, con and scam  anyone to get what she wants. She is selfish, not well liked, often  called the “B” word, she dresses like a slut,n and doesn’t care about any man’s mama because she is all about the man. Good girls lack world experience because she saves herself for Mr. Right, so she waits. Bad girls have been around the block so to speak. She thinks that each man she encounters is Mr. Right, until he proves that he is Mr. wrong then she moves on. Good girls date one man at a time. Bad girls go through men like how a family of eight goes through toilet paper, FAST.

Good girls are known to be people pleasers, she wants to be liked by everyone. Bad girls, think only of themselves and they use people to satisfy  their needs; other people’s needs is not their concern. Good girls are polite and have excellent conduct.  Bad girls are rude and they lack class and proper etiquette.

With all this said, in the end I have observed good girls, meet, date and marry men who disrespect them, take their kindness for weakness, and dislike the idea that she has  a higher level of  intelligence than him. In the mean time, bad girls have multiple men pursuing them , they get what they want from men, and  marry men who they can control.

I don’t know which one of these girls I want to be. I do know this, I desire to have a decent, honest compassionate, romantic, faithful, educated ( well read), domestically capable and relationship ready man.

What say you?