If this is your first time following me, dragthepen is dedicated to discussing issues that impact our relationships and our daily lives. Last week Monday, I was live on facebook and asked my viewers this question, When we were ordered to be sheltered in place what changes took place in their marriage, partnership, or entanglement? This discussion is focused on you about self reflection, question, have you given any thought to how you’ve changed or made changes in your life since being sheltered in place?
While enclosed in our homes we had a lot to handle trying to maintain a healthy mental and emotional balance. Now that we have had time to enjoy summer and fall and winter is fast approaching, have you taken time to think about your life and the adjustments that moving forward require you to make?
Most people don’t want down time to reflect on their lives because they may discover areas of their life that makes them uncomfortable to think about. Instead, they prefer to avoid what needs to be addressed. It takes a brave and honest person to confess weakness, struggles and disappointments.
Can you honestly look at yourself in the mirror and say to yourself that before the coronavirus rolled into town that you were 100 percent happy with all areas of your life? Or were moments when you came to the conclusion that you should reevaluate your life.
I understand that people continue to struggle with finances, unemployment, home school, working from home, eviction, and are simply concerned about their future. I’ve had conversations with family members, friends, co- workers and other people who say, “that this crisis has caused them to come face to face with areas of their life that they either avoided improving and they have regrets and hope to have a chance to make changes.”
Some people said that they regret not taking vacations and enjoying life more, they should have watched their spending and saved more money, completed their education, made an effort to work on their relationships, and complete unfinished projects, they worry over the pain caused by broken promises. I heard repeatedly from people that this crisis has called to their attention the things in life that are truly important. This nation has been through a great test this year concerning the destruction from the corona virus and racial tension and it seems that nothing is getting better, so it’s easy for people to give up.
And with all the things that people have to cope with it’s difficult for them to think about self-care. I am saying to you take a moment to think about how this crisis has changed you. What is important to you in order to move forward, make changes and create a better life. Take a moment for you.
I’ve taken advantage of this down time reading more, and I’ve discovered that I like this slower pace of life. I have decided not to go back to draining myself on the grind. I want a more focused life, working on projects that have meaning and purpose, no more filling up my calendar until I can’t breathe, I don’t have to be all things to all people. I enjoy blogging, writing books, ( My third will be released Dec). I want time to produce more YouTube videos for my channel Conversations with J. R. Floyd. I am working on my script for a documentary I will produce in the summer of 2021. Oh and the biggest change I am transitioning to a new profession. This new career move will allow me the time to pursue all the goals that I have planned.
The world has changed and it will continue to change. changes that wasn’t expected but the coronavirus has forced us to change. How are you going to move forward and embrace CHANGE?
Thank you for stopping by dragthepen.
Recovery day, some people advise taking a self care day. My question to you is do you take time to create a structured recovery day? While you’re thinking about the answer, bear in mind that some people become deeply caught up in the “ Grind” that they lose focus and the drive to create a good self care plan for them and family.
Recovery day is an entire day off from physical and mental work. I am thankful that I live alone and my peace on recovery days is not disturb. Even if you live at home with family, think about introducing recovery day, especially if there are children in the home. Teaching children how to have a recovery day or down time will be helpful to their emotional and mental well-being, children will understand how to enjoy quiet time at home. Most homes are filled with noise, chaos, 24 hours TV watching, video games, social media, babies crying, children running, playing, and fighting, and no one is paying attention to how all of this chaos and noise is affecting them emotionally and mentally.
I am talking from experience. Growing up as a child privacy and quiet time was not taught it was frowned upon. My parents’ attitude was I lived in their house and should abide by their rules, so staying in my room for private or quiet time was viewed as being defiant. When I became an adult and started living on my own I began to understand the importance of developing good habits of structuring recovery days.
My rules for recovery day
- No house cleaning
- Sleep late or just rest in bed
- Eat healthy foods and drink lots of water
- No checking social media, emails, or long phone conversations
- Think about the week ahead and plan
- If you have children limit watching television, read or play board games
- Have a family meal and talk
- Connect with self wash your hair, give a self manicure and rub your feet
- If the weather permits take a walk
Recovery day should end either by making popcorn and watching a good movie or continue reading that book you want to finish, and go to bed early time.
Thank to for stopping by dragthepen.
Dear Readers, there’s is a few things I would like to address, please bear with me.
This new idea of a genderless society is a step towards taking away our individual identify. I have never been fond of the principle of assigned gender roles. I am a supporter of equal rights regardless of gender some people interrupt this as women’s desire to compete with men this thinking is wrong. It is by natural selection that we are given our gender and identity. Furthermore, due to advance science and technology parents are able to discover the gender of an embryo, so much for the elements of surprise. There is even speculation of future technology that will allow parents to select certain features that they deem desirable resulting in their children being born with certain characteristics that will allow them to an advantage over other children. This all seems so absurd and out of control. Remember Victor Frankenstein in Mary Shelley’s literary masterpiece Frankenstein. This narrative illustrates the consequences of man going beyond the order of nature. What I observe occuring in society is the reordering or recreating a world to fit the needs of particular groups of people who feel the need to create a society that is out of the natural order. In today’s society practicing morals and good value is no longer important.
Our leaders have failed to stand firm on issues of family values instead they bend to every movement and organizations that cry foul when they feel that their basic human rights have been violated due a difference of opinions on issues like same sex marriage, gender neutral restrooms, the right to life, affordable housing, and the right to earn a fair wage. We have become so divided that we challenge whose life matter more. Black lives matter, the me to movement, along with other movements only serves the purpose of further diminishing people based on race and gender. Not to mention the that we currently live in a ” except me as I am society” where being unhealthy and overweight is viewed as body shaming so the practice of encouraging obesity is expected. Even the religious people are fleeing from their houses of worship to join non denominational churches because they are at odds with the strict rules of religion.
This chaos has led to an increase level of anger. Am I the only one who notice the increasing number of people who are angry? People are short fused. Patients, sympathy, compassion, understanding and reasoning is something of the past. Anger seems to be the new way to express displeasure, venting, going into a rage, and spewing out insults is becoming a normal part of people’s character. People blame social media, the overcrowding of public transportation, long commutes, the daily grind of life, high unemployment, hopleness, and high levels of stress, the list can go on and on, but the plain true is people are angry. This anger is spilling out into everyday life. Parents are short tempered towards their children. Couples are fighting more than usual over the smallest issues turning their home into a battle ground. There seems to be more anger at the workplace thus creating an unpleasant and hostile work environment. In the service industry consumers and customer service representatives are at odds due to complaints of low quality serve. People who are employed as wait staff, hair industry, driver’s, retail, healthcare, phone representative, postal workers all have the same complaint. They deliver poor service because they are shown very little appreciation for the services they provide.
If I am painting a picture that the world is on a collision course with itself just think about what is currently taking place immigrants are the focus of this administration, no one is seeking solutions to high unemployment, the homeless, drug abuse, and the increasing numbers of business closing. The politicians are focused on their personal agenda and they have no regards for the people who elected them to protect and provide for our well being in order to build a stronger and better world for the sake of all humanity.
Does any of this make any sense? If so what say you?
When arriving at a reasonable age of maturity, making a fresh start is difficult. The modern term for feeling tapped out or hitting rock bottom requires one to push the RESET button, the question is how?
I spent years working dead-end jobs, so I pushed the RESET button, and at the age of twenty-eight grindmy way through college. The payoff was an entry-level position at a Theatre Company as a junior manager. Diligently working my way up and after thirteen years, upper management said to me that I had “Hit the Glass Ceiling.”
I achieved another degree in Education and advanced from teaching in public school to the position of college adjunct lecturer. Once again I knocked on the door of the Chairperson, and was told that my years of experience and dedication to my students has not gone unnoticed, but, I need a DOCTORATE to acquire full-time status.
Years of living comfortable, independently and privately in my own space, I had to down size and relocate to a closet size apartment. There are days that all I have the energy to do is sit in my favorite chair sipping Merlot and thinking “REALLY.”
I am going to make peace with my tiny living quarters. Maybe living like a minimalist is what I need. By June 2017, I will complete my final Thesis, not for an advancement in my career, but for personal satisfaction, and I shall remain dedicated to my students. I no longer feel the need to seek approval from an Institution that bends the rules to accommodate some, but play by the book with others.
Maybe it is time to take my finger off the RESET button and press fast-forward.
What Say you?