It Made a Difference

This weekend while keeping watch on hurricane Henri, I had the pleasure of staying with my bestfriend and his mother for three days.We cooked, played music and card games, watched movies and took random naps.

I’ve lived alone for twenty-four years, and enjoy my peace, space, alone time, and having my own bathroom. Living with people has been a difficult experience either I find others to be noisy, sloppy, and they have too many guest over. When I was dating I felt uncomfortable when my boo asked to sleep over. I couldn’t wait for him to leave to change the sheets, clean the bathroom, open the windows letting fresh air in, thus returning the house back to it’s normal state.

On occasions I don’t mind cooking and inviting family and friends over. The truth is I thought that I had adjusted to being alone because it made life easier. Lately, I’ve been feeling the need for companionship, and decided to look into adopting a small dog. In the meantime, here’s what I’ve learned from my three day stay at my BFF’ house.

I think It’s time to find someone compatible to live with, I don’t believe in the theory that opposites attract. I don’t desire to live alone into my golden years, because being alone into old age means no one to share meals with or talk about our day, share dreams and accomplish goals together. There is no laugher, hugs, shared chores, or someone to hurry home to.

To achieve my goal of filling my house with the joys of happily ever after; I first have to overcome my fear of dating.The burden of my past trumatic relationships that hinders me from getting back into the dating game. Some men want to move too fast or they’re looking for intimacy without a desire for a long term committed relationship.

My three day stay reminded me of how happy, loving and warm a home can be when the rights souls occupy it.

Confessions of the Virus

One of the most difficult aspects of this pandemic is not the temporary loneliness, or the occasional overeating, the periodic boredom, or the wondering when will this be over, for me it is the absence of closeness. We live in a society that thrives on having personal space, in our homes we desire to have our own room, so we can close the door and keep others out. Some people often find themselves hiding in basements, closets or even the bathroom to escape people. 

We are told to seek quiet time to slow down and learn to enjoy our own company. Some parents often teach their children how to play alone. In the process these children invent imaginary friends or they cling to their favorite doll or stuffed animal for comfort. 

I am a proud Introvert and over the course of my life I have learned how to live with others who understand my need for quiet time and to dwell in a clean organized environment. We all have some area of life that is deeply impacted by this period of social distance. I miss the closeness of  being near people without fear. 

I miss sitting in the kitchen with my mom sipping coffee and catching up on life. I miss the hugs from family members, yes we are hugers. I teach college students and often they would initiate the invitation for a hug. I miss the intimacy of holding hands with a friend. I miss sneaking a gentle pinch from the cheek of a sweet plump baby. I especially miss the voices and camaraderie of my weekly chorus. 

Although some restrictions have been lifted and people are going out to enjoy meeting up, however, there is still that sense of being careful to connect but not fully. I spent this entire pandemic living alone; very few people stop by to do a wellness check. I am grateful for the few times I have ventured out to meet friends for dinner, coffee, or to attend a church service. I haven’t been to a mall, department store or to the movies; or any other place that I fear maybe a crowd of people.

I am thankful for spring and I’ ve made a trip to the mountains and it felt amazing to connect with nature, but I was alone. In July I am planning a cross country drive from New York to California. I am so excited because this is something I have dreamed of doing. While compiling my packing list I  remembered to add some extra items like, Lysol spray and wipes, extra masks,  rubber gloves, and hand sanitizer. I am excited, but how well I know that voice of caution will be with me whispering, have fun, but be safe.

Family Ties

Dear readers,

It’s easy to become routine about the things we say we are grateful for like, life, good health shelter, and our daily bread. On Sunday, March 26, 2017, the day after my birthday, while having dinner with my sisters I was reflecting on the importance of staying connected to family. Sometimes when we feel that life is empty because we lack an intimate or should I say romantic relationship, however, this may not be the whole truth. Examine closely the time spent away from family, this might be the connection that your heart is yearning for. Family should never be taken for granted, Because at the close of the day all we have is God and Family.

What Say You?

A Hand shake or a Hug?

Dear readers,

It’s shameful that we live in a society where physical contact such as, a handshake or a meaningful hug is fading. Nowadays, people are formal and considered not to offend anyone least they cry sexual harassment. When I was growing up, my teachers hugged me when I was feeling sad, for performing well in school, before leaving on summer break, and to welcome me back to a new school year.

Now, assumptions are when teachers are observed hugging their students; or if two men hug, instead of shaking hands. Young ladies are warned not to get too close to a man when hugging him; and that men should wait until a women offers her hand before he extend his hand for a handshake.

There are guide lines for handshakes, for example, a firm handshake is significant, or if a person doesn’t extend  their hand, this is considered an offensive gesture. In some cultures fathers don’t hug their sons. Mature children push away their parents when they attempt to hug them. Elderly people don’t receive as many hugs as they should.

Hugs between intimate couples have become routine and lack true emotional value. Some people hug their pets with more tenderness than they do humans. We are getting further away from staying connected physically because we over look the small important gestures like, holding hands, hugs, or a smile. Yet, we will text or email an emoji  to express how we feel.

 

What Say You?