There is Light at the End…..

Dear readers,

I’ve with stood many years of towing the line so to speak. I worked my way through college with this grand idea that a college education would net me a job, not a career path, but a job paying me loads of money. Great dream if we lived in a perfect world. My life didn’t turn out the way that I had planned. For years, I toiled trying to climb up the “ladder” of success. I arrived to work early, stayed late, came in on my day off, and performed tasks that no one would do because they said, “its wasn’t within their job description.” Time and time again I didn’t get the promotion that I worked to obtain. When I questioned those, in position to help me to upgrade my position, I was told that I didn’t meet the education or experience requirement. Nonetheless, I pushed harder to be noticed with no success. I spent years being angry because I felt that “they “won’t give me a chance, “they “were holding me back, “they “were evil…. the thoughts in my head went on and on and on. The road to finding my true purpose began two years ago with a simple Valentine’s Day Facebook posting, that led to my first blog.  With each post, something amazing started happening I found my voice. Not my speaking voice, the voice of my pen. While on a two-year journey, of rediscovery It turns out that my calling is to become an English professor, playwright, author, mentor and motivational speaker. I am amazed, and at times speechless. I wrote an award-winning play, a first-time author, and on the career path to becoming a college professor. A few years before these changes happened I felt hopeless, and too old to reinvent myself.  Now, I face each day with the happiness of knowing that I have more than a job or career, I have purpose.  Thank you for listening.

Glory Days

 

Sun-rising-good-morning

Walking through the park, feeling the wet grass under my feet, watching the squirrels run like scavengers to find the hidden nut.

I don’t remember the last time I have walked this way. I am free to feel to think as I please.

Why isn’t my soul leaping forward with the joy of a newly redeemed sinner?

Even my shadow seems to hide from me.

My spirit withering away like the flowers bidding goodbye, to the luxury of the warm summer day.

Maybe if I walk a little farther a change of scenery will bring new awakening to my dry bones.

I am alone standing here in a shadow of once was. Time seems to be standing still for me.

The drumming of my heart is so loud its drowning out the sounds of nature.

I feel like Shadrach, Meshak, and Abendigo.

I am prepared to build my great pyramid to be forever entombed from the dreariness of this world; buried away from the hardships of life.

No strength, no desire, no passion. Everything is an empty black hole.

Life is hell—an endless, bottomless, fiery tormenting furnace –never again to see the light of day.

Is it too much to ask for a little kindness, for some peace, for some love and understanding?

I doubt that these things exist amongst so much cruelty and death.

The blood runs cold through my veins.

What is this misery? Shall I continue 0n this path…Curious to know what is beyond the boundaries?

I feel like a leper I am so isolated, so divided, so torn between reality and fairy tale.

Life is not worth the struggle…  not worth the effort.

I am moving about like a blind fool who seeks the light

No star in the East to light my way. Where are my three wisemen?

My birth is not worth the King’s ransom.

Like Job I desire to return to my mother’s womb?

I can start over. A new birth. Maybe it will be different this time.

A new destiny, a new sun, new moon, a new land.

Different dreams…Oh, what the hell! Whom am I kidding?

I am like Rip Van Winkle sleeping the rest of my life away.

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