Just for today.

Dear Readers,

Today is that day. You know the day you just can’t seem to hold life together. People say push through, but why? Today,  I can’t just push through. Sometimes pushing through causes more harm than good. Today, is the day that I need to step back and work through this mist of fog.

I have been digging in and plowing through for months. Day by day, pushing down the emotional waves that threaten to overwhelm me, holding back tears, smiling, laughing, when I really want to scream out and crawl in a corner and be left alone. Having private conversations with that voice in my head, whispering ” I am okay”.  Today, I am not ok. I think about the thousands of people who go through life faking the funk lying  to themselves about being “ok”,  afraid of having a break down because people will judged them for  being weak. Shame on us for creating a society where its not good to admit that ” I am not okay”.

Today,  is my day to feel the emotional waves and let them do what they do. Today, is the day for the tears to flow. Today,  is the day for me to admit to the voice in my head that I am exhausted, depressed, and that I feel the pain of loneliness and isolation from friends and family. Today, I will lay in bed with the breakfast, while organzing  my personal projects.  I will quite my mind by reading and siping a glass of merlot. Awww the pleasures of life are short lived. I am counting the days until the month of June ends, and looking  forward to my vacation to California. In the meantime, at the close of this day I will take a warm bubble bath, indulging in a mani- pedi, burn my favorite candle ( vanilla) and prepare my mind and body to face the next day.

Thank you for reading💖

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A house is not a Home

Dear readers,

When most people hear the words Home Alone, this is the image that comes to mind.

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The chaos of a frightened little boy left behind by his family, trying to fend-off burglars.

Home Alone can be just as terrifying for countless individuals, who have lost or never found their Soul Mate. No matter how large, small, shabby, or gloriously chic the outer frame or decorative interior; these things do not make a house a home. It’s the sound of laughter and tears, children playing or squabbling; the sweet aroma from the meal of the day, and the barking of the family dog wanting to go out.

Home is the place for happy family gatherings and sometimes moments of sorrow. Where babies take their first steps, and grow up to descend the stairs on prom night. A home is where childhood memories are made, where Mom and Dad dance alone at night after they put the kids to bed. Home is where grandparents return to live out their last days surrounded by familiar faces.

Home Alone means no voices, no memories, just silence. Each day becomes the same, and everything becomes one.  One cup, plate, fork, spoon, napkin, meal…. until one becomes none.

Home Alone

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What Say You?