The Journey; just getting started

Dear Readers,

I started out in 2015, not sure where the road would lead me. My dreams was to become a public school teacher work 20 years and retire. Well, life had other plans. Sometimes we can think too small and play life safe. Here is the short version, I survived an abusive childhood, domestic violence, bankruptcy, homelessness, and 2 years ago, the man who I thought was the last love of my life tuned out to be another abuser, so I left to start life over from ground zero at the age of 54. I survived it all and not only did I survive, I am victorious in my come back, while ;earning valuable lessons.  Above all to you my readers, you must believe in yourself. Take that dream out of your head and make it a reality. Through all the betrayals, disappointments, bumps. twists, valleys, and ditches, I didn’t develop thick skin, I learned the gift of compassion, and life humbled me. I found my purpose, and the last two years of my life have been the best.

Instead of becoming a public school teacher I am an adjunct English instructor. One blog in 2015, developed into Dragthepen and 600 blogger mates. I currently manage a You Tube channel, Conversations with J. R. Floyd, a platform to dedicated to discussing the issues that impact our relationships, empowering men and women to be better and to explore the failure of family, especially, in the African American Community. I truly believe that through conversation people can begin to heal their brokenness and learn to love themselves, and their family. I am living my dream of being a classical singer, and in June 2019 I performed at Carnegie  Hall, with the BMCC  New York City Downtown Chorus.

Almost five years later I am on my third book. They are no grand novels, but they do teach valuable lessons. The most valuable lesson put me first, and to surround myself with people who support my growth. Prince Charming might be out there, but at this time I am no longer interested in being some ones MRS. I am going to continue on this road its quite remarkable.

Join me on my journey.

my story about how relationship myths can lead to dyfuncational relationships.relationships.

the choice is yours.

This 90 days of reflection, discovery, and renewal is a personal journey of deep contemplation and a search for answers to a life in a constant battle with tragedy, depression, and hopelessness. For some people hitting a brick wall knocks the life out of them. My collision lead to a level of clarity to understand how unnecessary distractions and being unaware caused my life to veer of course. My experiences have taught me that sometimes a second chance can lead to a new beginning. ( SOON TO BE RELEASED )

ALL BOOKS ARE AVAILABLE ON AMAZON

thank you for stopping by dragthepen

A new number doesn’t mean change

Dear Readers,

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So, the count down to the New Year ( 2020) has begun and many people are feeling the anxiety of an approaching new year. You are not alone in your HOPES that maybe a ” New Year” will being more joy, happiness, adventure, and less drama. There is absolutely noting wrong with HOPING, but if our not putting the effort, time, energy, work, and developing a plan of how your going to make the change you desire. Are you aware of why you haven’t had a better quality of life?

Before the ending of 2019, have you sat down in deep contemplation about the obstacles, mental and emotional baggage that you continue to carry into each ” New Year”, yet you keep HOPING. A new number or a new year isn’t going to change any of the situations in your life unless you change. Don’t expect the people or situation around you to change if your not willing to get clear and understand that you can’t continue behaving in the same manner expecting new results.

If you continue to walk the same path than this means you have become stagnate and complacency has set in. So, just using lip services of wishing for change isn’t going to bring about the beauty of a new life. If your living in FEAR of the unknown then letting go of the old in exchange for the new isn’t for you.

Here is a question to ask yourself, How bad do you want or need change? Look around do you like what you see?

How many times are you going to confuse secretly to yourself, ” I am so tried of this?”  Whatever your ” This ” is  making unless New Years Resolutions will help to bring change if you don’t take control of your life. The conversation needs to take place with yourself. I had a dear friend and co worker, who recently celebrated her 56th birthday by taking a cruise, she passed away on that cruise, and the lost was shocking to all of us who knew her.  The point is she made everyday that she lived count. She’s been taking two cruises a year since 2008, This was her way of seeing the words and experiencing the joy, excitement and adventure of  life.

This is your life, your the writer of the script and you can change, edit, revise as much as you want to until you have what you can called ” Your Best Life”. nothing is perfect and it never will be, but haven’t you waited long enough?

The wait is over the choice is yours.

HAPPY 2020 from DRAGTHEPEN

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Dear 2019

 

Dear Readers, 

There are millions of people who are very happy to see 2019 go. Welcoming a new year is always exciting due to the anticipation of starting fresh and leaving behind a year that might not have been the greatest. I begin 2019 with high hopes I made plans, plotted a path and set reasonable   goals. Along the way I often got side tracked. Remember when you hit me with pneumonia twice, but you made me understand that I wasn’t paying attention to my health. It seemed to me that each day I pushed forward you pushed me backwards. On the darkest days of this year I did my utmost best to remain positive. I smiled when I wanted to cry. I suppressed my screams of anger by singing, and squeezed my blue tattered stress ball when my emotions threatened to overwhelm me. Against all odds and with fierce determination I accomplished my goal of performing at Carnegie Hall after three previous attempts. I wasn’t going to allow the dreary, somber, evil forces of this universe to defeat me. 

Hey, 2019, I couldn’t understand why you seemed hell bent on putting obstacles in my way, the more I succeeded in my progress towards my goals, you appeared to be ignored at me. I thought that we were taking this journey together. I told you at the start of 2019, that I was over stumbling through life like the village idiot. I made amends for all the years that I wasted. I said to you with all the sincerity of my shattered life, that I would do better and be better because I have greater clarity. Where you testing me my faith, strength, and ability to remain grounded and focused on my goals? I walked with my head up through every storm, nor’easter, and heat wave. I worked on my days off, double shifts, even when I didn’t have the strength to put one foot in front of the other.  I willed myself forward by the power of my mental strength. 

I couldn’t believe that you ( 2019) wouldn’t allow me to catch a break. Ok, so I admit there were moments of short lived happiness. June 17, my performance at Carnegie Hall, my long awaited trip to California, and in August I finally had the time and resources to renew my passport. In  September my new website Conversations with J.R. Floyd went public. I completed my third manuscript that’s currently going through the editing process, the goals is to publish my third book in 2020. I secured my new living space and on Dec 16, I was able to move in two weeks before the original date. Oh, yeah, a few bonuses, I get to spend Christmas and New Year’s in my new apartment. Oh and did I mention that I finally have a landlord that allows me to have a pet. I adopted a cat named Hamlet. So, here I am in the middle of my queen size bed, Hamlet purring next to me, sipping hot chocolate while Nat Cole Christmas CD plays softly. 

Yes, 2019, we have had our tribulations and there were days when you made me question my sanity, but in the end all things considered I say I started this year the same way I chose to end it. I am going to continue setting realistic goals, map out a plan on how to make my goals and make my vision a reality. I resolve to pay attention to my health, sleep, rest, eat clean, drink plenty of water, and stay committed to making me and my vision a priority. With a heartfelt thank you I am grateful for all that 2019 has taught me. I welcome the next level of living my best life. Hello 2020.

Sweet Smell of Life

Dear Readers,  I lost everything, or at least I thought I did. Two years ago my life was turned upside down, first, I lost my apartment, and broke off my engagement, in two years I have moved four times into roommates situations. In the progress of moving I had to let go of material items. Things that I put blood and sweat into purchasing. I gave them away to people who were in need, and the most painful of all I had to leave my entire bedroom set in my old apartment because I didn’t have the time or many to put everything in storage.

When life hits you with an unexpected curve ball and in my case several curve balls, you learn how to put things in prospective, at least this is what I did. For the last year I have lived in a beautiful four bedroom apartment with two bathrooms with a great roommate, but I spend the bulk of my time in my room. What I have gained is the knowledge of how to live with less and be happy. In a few months December 1, 2019, I will officially, move into my own apartment, and I am looking forward to starting from ground zero, and living the next half of my life as a MINIMALIST. I live with just what I need and understanding that material processions don’t mean that I have quality of life, its just stuff that I worked hard to acquire, and sometimes don’t enjoy.

Refocusing my means having  time to slow down, experience and enjoy peace at home, and time to rediscovery and discover who I am. I’ve revisited the joys of reading books that have lead to me to understand that I was basically in a fog for years, and that I wasn’t living my best life. In two years, I have traveled, keep promises to myself that I have pushed back for years. I do more impromptu things, I focus more on me, health, and most important  I keep a daily gratitude journal. Yes. I know you have heard this over and over that a good life is a life that is filled with Gratitude. Since June I’ve been keeping a morning and evening Gratitude journal. I’ve practice the habit of starting my day with extra time to sit in peace, listen to a motivational video, journal, reflect, and plan that my day is going to be a good one. No matter how bad I think a day is I look forward to looking for five things that I have to be thankful for that day.

I am literally starting from ground zero with everything. my new apartment won’t be stuff with things, but it will be pretty, and filled with dinners with family and friends. I am refocusing my priorities in the order of important, spending more time on the goals that are important to me like, my next two books, my YouTube channel, Conversations with J. R. Floyd, rejoicing in the release of my new website, Conversations with J. R. Floyd on Squarespace ( October 2019).  I use to think of starting over as a depressing life event, I don’t anymore. I see starting from ground zero as a chance to start fresh and leave the old drama behind. I look forward to each day because I have new goals that will become a reality now that I  know how to prioritize, plan, slow down, keep distractions away.   Sometime an ending and be a new beginning. If this is you, don’t look back,  life is so much better when you look forward.

Here is the five things that I have to be thankful for today.

  1. Today,I am thankful that I didn’t allow the hands of depression to control me.
  2. Today, I am thankful for good health.
  3. Today, I am thankful that I have a chance to rebuild my life from ground zero.
  4. Today, I am thankful to have something to be thankful for.
  5. Today, I am thankful because I can look forward to living my best life.

J. R. Floyd, Dragthepen

I challenge you to list  Five things that you are thankful for?8 ways you gain when you accept change, Tips from Sharvi.

Mommy Dearest

Dear Readers,

I once read that being a mother is the best job. I say, “motherhood isn’t a job it’s a calling.”a job is defined as a paid position of regular employment. While motherhood is the state or experience of having or raising a child. A mother forth life and no definition can truly define the true role of a mother. Women who makes the choice to bring forth life or to adopt children embarks on a life long journey that some say changes the entire course of their life. Being a mother means a life time of having a connection to their children that doesn’t end when the umbilical cord is cut. There is no job description that is equal to the multiple tasks performed by a mother within a 24-hour day, seven days a week, 365 days a year, with the occasional birthday, Mothers’ day, a spa day or night out with the girls. Despite the thousands of books dedicated to helping mothers by giving them advice on the proper way to raise their children; any mother will tell you that there are no manuals that comes close to explaining the instincts, talent, and gifts that mothers have. A mother’s love runs deeper than any ocean, and shines brighter than the stars in the galaxy.  The healing touch of a mother’s hands is more comforting than a skills physicians’ hands. The depths of a mother’s wisdom and knowledge comes from the profound minds of generations. When a mother feels sorrow the entire world senses her pain and mourns with her.  A mother’s joy burns brighter than the Sun and lasts a life time. Motherhood isn’t a random position that a woman chooses, A mother answers to the stirring in her womb, she responses to the call of a natural caretaker. A mother makes heart breaking sacrifices that only another mother understands. Memories of Mothers live on burned into the hearts and mind of her children long after she had departed this earth. Some people say the best things in life are free. I say, “motherhood is the most precious gift of life.”

What say you?

Reality Check

Dear readers,

Lately, I’ve called attention to people’s mannerism or lack thereof, and the words that we use or have taken out of our vocabulary. My parents raised me and my siblings to see the good in people, to share, be kind, and if we didn’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.  I know that their instructions were given with love and for intention, to see their children mature into caring adults. However, they were raised during an era when people had different values, and family and community was a very important part of everyday life.

Fast-forward………. Today most people don’t think in terms of what’s good for their community or family. It is difficult for me to come to terms with the truth that are “Self-thinking.” And that Self-centered people don’t have any sentiments about the impact that their negative, selfish, and arrogance have on others. Recently, my blinders were unkindly ripped from my eye, to my astonishment I’ve been living in denial. Let the truth be told, people have become cold and malicious, I regret that there is no “Nice” way to say this. I’ve spent too much time making excuses for people who aren’t “good.” I’ve gave freely of my time to people who didn’t deserve it.  My time would have been better spent volunteering at an animal shelter. First, for my love of cats and dogs, second, they are deserving of the love and the time I give to them.

Now, the last part of my parent advice, “say something nice” I’m happy that I no longer exist in denial, and that the blinders are off, it never too late to learn. I intend to be on my guard, I will ask questions, no longer will I give freely of my time, and finally, everyone who smiles or calls me friend don’t necessarily have good intentions.

What say you.