The Dangerous of Relationship Myths

Dear Readers,

I am no relationship expert, let the truth be told, I have failed at every attempt of establishing and maintaining a lasting intimate partnership.Yes, I am willing to be vulnerable and bare my soul by taking responsibility for why I entered and participated in many dysfunctional intimate and personal relationships that only served the purpose of robbing me of my self worth.

How many times we’ve heard this saying
” experience is the best teacher,” this is not true in all areas of life. After surviving some experiences that threatened to rob me of life and hope. What I now know is that I would have benefited from some information, preparation and foundation about certain areas of life that I had the least experience. Sometimes when individuals are left out to hang so to speak, that saying, ” experience is the best teacher” can leave some people with lasting emotional and mental damage.

I created the YouTube channel, Conversations with J R Floyd, to openly discuss relationship myths that lead people into dysfunctional relationships. These myths damage self esteem, and self worth. We learn to be mistrustful, how to scheme, not to show our authentic self because we don’t know who we are. Damaged people know who they are by what’s others tell them who they are according to personal bias.

As a society we will not be able to heal and gain clarity, if we are not willing to point the finger of blame correctly where it belongs, learn to forgive others and ourself, and go through a process healing to close the wounds inflicted as a results of emotional and mental trauma. I lived in denial for years, blinded by hopeless and anger, surrounded by broken people like myself. I am happy to say that I dug deep for my healing. I honor the entire journey even the dark, lonely, hopeless days. Today, I stand on firm ground, I know who I am and have better clarity and purpose. My experiences did not kill me, some made me stronger, wiser and most important when to seek help.

Some relationship myths

1. If he lays with you he will stay with you. This is not necessarily true.
2. Being labeled baby mama doesn’t equal being a wife. Most women who give birth to children without being legally married expect to be treated like a wife
3. Shacking up means he is keeping his options open. Ask yourself a question, why isn’t he honoring you with marriage?
4. There is no honor in being someone side piece. This seems to be a dangerous trend that is honored in today’s society.
5. Women who devote years of their lives to a man who aren’t their husband. To each his own, but don’t be angry when he marrys someone else
6. He or she isn’t the one, so you try to change them. It’s not our duty to change anyone. Accept and allow people to be who they are or move on and find your equal.
7. Ladies if he is dating and calling you only at night, recognize what you are, ” a booty call”
8. It’s cheaper to keep her inside of seeking a divorce. Ladies this is how men feel about you when he has invested financially in a marriage or long term partnership.
9. Having any man is better than no man, even if he is somebody else’s man. In other words, your a side piece
10. People are justified when they have sexual relationships outside of their marriage.

These are just a few myths and topics on my YouTube channel, conversations with J R Floyd. Join me.

Thank you for stopping by dragthepen ❤️

Family Matters?

Dear readers,

Please bear with me, this post is a little longer than I am accustomed to writing, I believe that what I have to share will be beneficial to someone.

A few weeks ago I was invited to Sunday dinner at the home of the Evans family (family of five, three girls plus mom and dad) Ms. E is an old college mate, she didn’t finished college because she got married and started a family. I was excited! Being single has its pros and cons, one downside is eating alone. Anyway, I arrived at 2 pm with a bottle of wine, flowers for Ms. E and crumbs cupcakes for the girls to have after dinner.

Mr. E. greeted me at the door and quickly disappeared upstairs to the bedroom. After hugging the girls and chatting for a few minutes, me and Ms. E settled in the kitchen, opened the wine and proceeded to catch up on life.  An hour into my visit my excitement went from 10 to 0. I was looking forward to a family day, you know the old fashion way families use to spend time. Playing games, laughing and talking over dinner and then maybe a movie with popcorn to close out the evening.

What I got was the girls in the living room engaged in their electronic devices, there wasn’t any talking, no interaction between them, they sat staring as in a trance at their I pads, and their ears were plugged up.  I sensed Ms. E’s embarrassment about the situation, so she justified their behavior by saying that Mr. E has been working long hours during the week, and on the weekends he likes the house to be quiet.

Ms. E and I stayed in the kitchen drinking wine, chopping, cooking and talking. After a while reality set in Ms. E wanted company. She craved someone to talk to, she was feeling lonely and disconnected. There came a point during the period before we ate dinner that the youngest child become restless, she was told by Ms. E to go and play quietly in her room. She was sent to play in her room alone, instead of remaining in the kitchen with us.

The other children were woken from their trance by Ms. E. to set up the table. At 4 pm, Ms. E called Mr. E to the dinner table, by this time the youngest child had fallen asleep, the father said leave her to sleep, Ms. E did not protest.  It took a moment to get out plates filled and for a conversation to start, but it wasn’t a meaningful conversation. The girls answered my questions with short response, and Mr. E mostly talked about how much over time he was doing, and Ms. E kept asking everyone did they want more to eat. During dinner the youngest child woke to join us.

After we ate, Mr. E excused himself to go and full the vehicles up with gas for the coming week. I helped Ms. E cleaned the kitchen, put the food away and to set up coffee and the cupcakes for the girls, they ate a few bites and asked to go to their rooms to watch a show on the Disney Channel. I stayed with Ms. E for another hour and said my good byes at 7pm, there was no Mr. E in sight.

I went home and got out my old family albums and spent time remembering the good old days. I called Ms. E letting her know I got home safe and thanking her for the dinner. I extended an invite for her and the family to have dinner at my house the next Sunday. What I didn’t tell her was that I was going to invite some of my family members so she can experience what a good old fashion Sunday Family Dinner is supposed to be.

Family bonding is important.

What say you?

 

Sugar is Sweet

Dear readers,

Have you noticed that we live in a society were labeling people or situations have become common place, and  also used to stereotype people and their behavior? With that said, Lets talk about ” Sugar Daddy’s.” There are many websites dedicated to matching young women ( sugar baby’s ) with older ( geezers) wealthy, horny men: who claim to need the companionship of a women without the pressure of having to establish a relationship.

At this point you might be turning your nose up in disgust, hold onto that thought there is more.

There is an increasing number of young women of all ethnic background who are willing becoming ” sugar baby’s,”  number one reason, yes, you guessed it the money$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ they are given that allows them to experience a better quality of life, compared to women their age who toil at building a career and collect a pay check that uncle SAM dips his hands into.

This ” Sugar baby” life style comes with, lavish trips, tanning on yachts; buying Prada, Vuitton, Gucci, Diamonds, Ruby’s,and drinking Cristal, Moet, and Dom Perignon for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Wow! all that just for spending time with an old, wealthy, lonely man. Hmmmmmmmm

What Say You?