Hopeless Romantic

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Dear Readers,

People are saying that they are looking for love, I didn’t know that love was lost. Did you? What kinda love are people looking for, emotional love, puppy love, love at first sight, dysfunctional love, or unconditional love. Where is love hiding? Is it in the closet, under the bed, in the attic or has love been misplaced? Who are people seeking love from? Love of a parent, sibling, friend, partner, child, God, or a pet. How do we define this love people are yearning for, and will they recognize this love if they find it? On the flip side, I hear people say that there is no love in this world. People are of the opinion that we live in a society that ranks acceptance of others based on the haves and have-nots. In other words, people will love you based on the price tag of the material items you give them instead of accepting old fashioned virtues like honesty, respect, values, good morals, family values, monogamy, and a belief in marriage and partnership. Nowadays, people are seeking to engage in a situation- ship they do so with a closed heart, because a situation-ship is a temporary state the theory is that being in a long term partnership is considered a situation that is outdated. Recently, I was made aware of the new roles women play in a man’s life. If she is deemed the lucky she gets to be the wife, then comes the boo who wants to be the wife, followed by the main side piece, ending with just plain old side chick. During the process of this one man running around with three outside women while trying to keep the home life happy he is labeled community property by the women who is sharing him. Where is the LOVE? The love that our grandparents and parents had, that pure untainted love that endured the test of hardships, the love that made them hold onto each other as if life itself depended on it.
The love that forgave minor offenses. The love that didn’t diminish due to separation. The love that remained long after a spouse has departed. People are seeking what’s missing from their lives. Someone they can bond with on a level of complete honesty and openness, someone with sincere and pure intentions, and a person who keeps his or her word. A dependable person who seeks the greater good of happiness for the pure pleasure of seeing the joy in their partners eyes. A true friend and confidant.Someone who will keep their secrets, laugh at their jokes, won’t judge them for their dreams, shield tears with them behind closed doors, endure their faults, a strong shoulder to lean on, and someone who believes in them. This is what most people are seeking. Love is deep and it takes time to develop a sincere connection and lasting bond. Love isn’t instant gratification or a band aid solution. Love can be expressed in many different ways. When People say they are looking for love. I say, look around love is everywhere.
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Who are you dating?

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Dear Readers,

Dating has become a dangerous game. Back in the day dating had a purpose simply put to find a life partner. Today, people date with hidden agendas. It’s disturbing to know that there is individual who purposely scheme and prey on people to engage in a fake relationship.

Some people date or participate in a relationship based on another person’s salary, the car they drive, and how much material items this person is willing to give them. This type of person is a freeloader, or an opportunist because they see their victims as an opportunity and a convenience. And when the next person comes along who can offer them more they conveniently leave the person they are dating (or engaged in a false relationship) without regards to the emotional damage they leave behind.

There is the serial dater. Meaning, the person who dates or engage in a relationship with two or multiple people at the same. These in between daters don’t have a sense of feeling that they are doing any harm. They justified this disrespectful behavior by claiming to be in love with the people they are dating; and they swear on a stack of bibles that they find it difficult to make the choice to be with one person. LIES!

Then there is the Representative, if you’re dating this type of person these are people who show up and portray themselves as the ideal mate or the person who is just right for you. They present themselves as the quintessential person to have a romantic relationship with. They exhibit qualities that can woo and fool the best of us. The problem with these Representatives is that their intentions are wrong. They are not who they say they are. Their primary goal is to scheme, deceive, breakdown, and destroy their victims; while engaging in a false relationship. When these Representatives have accomplished his or her mission, they move on quickly, leaving in their path emotional and financial bankrupt people; who have no idea until it’s too late that they have been bamboozled by a Representative.

Have you found yourself dating a Visitor, meaning a person who shows up like a guest. The Visitor will claim to be committed to the relationship, but not as a full-time partner. The Visitor will make an appearance only when the time is convenient for them. Dating a Visitor is like being at a pit stop; they will come through to have their needs attend to, and before you can blink they are gone. The Visitor can appear and disappear in and out of a relationship like a magician. Being in a relationship or dating situation with a Visitor is emotionally and mentally draining so, the next time you observe yourself dating a Visitor, put out a No Vacancy sign.

At the first encounter there is no meter to measure whether the person we seek to be in a relationship is who they say they are, and have good intention. I recommend that when dating take your time, don’t rush and when something doesn’t feel right go with that feeling. Don’t wait around for another person to complete who you are. You are enough as you are. Love yourself like you want the others person to love you. When you don’t resolve baggage from past relationships and behave in a desperate manner that’s when you fall victim to these people who are Freeloaders, Representatives, and Visitors. Pay attention to what they say or don’t say. There are warning signs, but people become so involved in the emotional rollercoaster while dating that they loses sight of the warning signs. For the people who have lost faith in finding love, be the love that you want to receive.

What say You? Check out my You Tube channel: Conversations with J. R. Floyd for more realtionship topics.