Self-care matters because you matter

Hello Readers. 

This year dragthepen will host various discussions about Self Care. Why? Because you matter. Your life matters and the quality of your daily life should matter to you. 

Self Care: should not be treated as a luxury but as a necessity daily practice that helps to rejuvenate a person’s holistic well being. In other words, your daily practice of self care should be a combination of relaxing and meditative activities that treat your mental health, your soul, the essence of your core of spiritual soul, activities that strengthen your body and final activities that promote a good emotional balance. 

Daily self care should not be an occasional trip to the nail salon or weekly happy hour or that once a year vacation. A daily practice of self care in this hectic society should include awareness of our eating habits, sleep patterns, exercise, how much television we watch and the content of what we are watching. 

Question, what does yourself care practice look like in your home? Are you teaching your children how to be kind to themselves and not allow society to shape their thinking with distorted images of who they should be? Husbands, wives, partners, brothers, sisters, mother, daughters, father and sons, what do you do when you notice that your loved one is exhausted, emotionally broken, repeating harmful patterns in their life? We have to teach each other about the power of self-reflection and self care and knowing when it is time to step back, breathe, slow down and push the reset button.

We have been taught that we are our brothers and sisters’ keepers, but we are living in a society where we look the other way when those we claim to love and hold in high esteem need a lesson in self care. This conversation will continue.  

Let’s make self care a daily practice and not an occasional treat. 

Thak you for stopping by Dragthepen

SELF CARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dear Readers. This year I will be discussing various aspects of self-care and mental health.

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People say that ” self-care is the best care”. I say, we in a society where we don’t have meaningful conversations about and how to enforce self-care thus taking supporting our mental health on a daily basis. We talk about mental health and protecting our peace, but how can we protect our peace when we lack good self-care practices? 

What is your mental health worth to you? Think about some of these points while you’re grinding yourself into exhaustion and developing poor eating and sleep habits. 

Do you lack a productive social life and I am not referring to Happy Hour. Is family time something you avoid or take time to plan for the wellbeing of your family’s emotional and mental health? 

How many people reading this will admit that they are overwhelmed at home and overworked at the job. 

You feel drained, angry, have become an emotional eater, gain weight, lost weight due to stress, and are short tempered.

Have you allowed your mental and emotional health to suffer due to remaining in dysfunction relationships? When I say relationships, this includes intimate situations, family, and friends.

People bottom line we all need down time, alone time, spa day, a weekend getaway, and a night out on the town. We need to laugh more, increase our listening skills, and practice disconnecting  from technology and all social media, and have old fashion conversations. 

I am going to leave that right there. Throughout 2023 I will be offering suggestions like, good books to read on self-care, reminding you to step back and take some down time and more topics on the importance of good self-care and mental health practice.  

A Women’s Worth

Dear Readers,

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Happy New Year.

We need to stop applauding women for being exhausted due to forsaking self-care and their mental and emotional health, while supporting families, working outside the home and wearing multiple hats. I don’t believe in the myth of superwomen. Society is overwhelmed with women who are physically drained, suffering from health issues, emotionally empty, depressed, oppressed, feeling trapped and ignored. Women are told that women complain too much and are never satisfied. Women give so much and get little in return. 

A Few Words.

DEAR Readers,

When a woman says, ” she doesn’t want a man in her life” that’s not an open door for people to throw shade, condemn or label her a lesbian. You have not lived her life nor her experiences. She might be on a path of healing and self-discovery. So, before you become judge and jury respect and honor the fact that these women choose to remove herself from dysfunctional men so she can be all she can be for herself. Respect the journey.

Thank you for stopping by dragthepen

Forever Pure

Warm and Secure

You have a special way of making me feel warm and secure.

Your strength and power inspire me to adore you more.

Life constant changes drives me in sane. Your love I can depend on to remain the same.

I’ve never desired a man for riches or fame.

All the gold in fort Knox’s can’t compare to this burning flame.

I hunger for your touch.

Love so gentle, kind, forever pure.

I can climb the highest mountain, swim from shore to shore and weather any storm

Because I have your love to keep me warm and secure.

I would be lost without you, for you know this is true.

Don’t ever stop making my skies starry and blue.

It’s your love that keeps me alive,

This I shall not deny your promises I can always rely.

Every day with you is like being born again

Because I have your love to keep me warm and secure.

Thak you for stopping by dragthepen

The Choice Is Yours

Dear Readers,

Dear Readers, in 2018 I made the discussion to end my engagement. The choice was painful, l had to be honest with myself I was going into the marriage for all the wrong reasons. For a period of time, I felt lost, broken, unloved and unwanted. I decided to journal my way through the healing process and what I’ve discovered about myself was life changing. The biggest lesson I don’t have to settle to be happy. Read 90 Days of Reflection, Discovery & Renewal.

The Conversation is a collection of my short stories, poems, my award-winning play and an intimate conversation with my mother.

Both books are available on Amazon.

Did You Understand the Assignment?

my best buddy Peanut

Dear Readers,

Do not close your heart to LOVE. I do not know your experiences because I have not lived your life. I do not know who disappointed, neglect, abused, used, cheated, and committed acts of violence against you, that is not LOVE. I know that it is difficult to heal from the trauma of physical and emotional abuse. I know that what people do not see on the outside is broken on the inside. I know that it is not easy to bounce back from the cycle of dysfunctional relationships. But do not give up on LOVE.

I agree that you should protect yourself from people who have no good intentions towards you. I agree that you should guard you heart, mind, body, and soul from people who will drain you of kindness, compassion, and authentic LOVE. But, if you build a wall around your heart high and tight, shutting yourself away from engaging in social setting that will help you to heal, laugh, smile and to hope; you are robbing yourself of the chance encounter of meeting the one person who will give you authentic LOVE.

When you shelter your heart and mind locking yourself away soaking in the pain of the past, this will result in becoming a bitter, angry, resentful, sad, lonely, and depressed person. I agree that it scary this complicated world of TRUST and LOVE. It is saddening to observe the high number of people who live alone because they choose to give Love only to have their life devastated by an individual whose purpose was to steal, kill, abuse, and destroy 💔because they did not understand the assignment of LOVE.

I was young when I gave my heart away. And after years of dysfunctional relationships and living a life of trauma and emotional brokenness; thankfully, I found the path to healing, forgiveness of myself and other it has been a difficult but necessary journey. I am that person who have built the wall locking myself away from the evil hands and cruel heart of the wolves in sheep clothing. It is a lonely existence, but I feel safe. I long for the joys of companionship, the touch, kindness and warm of another loving human. Life is different when it is just one. I hope that one day that I will meet the one who understand the true assignment of LOVE ❤.

Thank you for stopping by Dragthepen.

Can a relationship survive Infidelity?

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Dear Readers, Today’s topic: infidelity, cheating, being unfaith, side piece 

I like to establish ground rules before diving into this subject. When referring to people in relationships, I am not talking about people who are chronic cheaters. I am referring to people who pledge in their hearts to be in an exclusive relationship or marriage vowing to forsake all others. 

People who are in a committed relationships and outside of the relationship to engage in a sexual relationship with another person, you are a cheater because having a side piece is not a part of the deal. To my readers, is it worth mending a relationship when a partner cheats? And here is the big kicker, the double standard, women who forgive men who cheat, but on the other hand, men will not stay in a relationship and forgive a woman who cheats on him. Why is this? Could it be that his manhood is challenged? 

Cheaters give all kinds of reasons for being unfaithful. However, is there any true justification for being involved in a sexual relationship when engaged in an exclusive relationship or marriage? The sad part is the innocent people who are caught up in their cheating partners sexual entanglement, the cheater doesn’t realize or care at the moments that they are getting their jollies off, that when the cat is out of the bag, so to speak, that there will be people who feel betrayed, scarred, and emotional broken. 

The Excuses 

1. A man who considers himself a committed bachelor, he uses this non relationship status as an excuse to have sexual relations with multiple women.

2. If the fire of romance dies in a relationship or one partner becomes physically unattractive. The cheater uses this to make the innocent partner feel guilty. 

3. Lack of sexual satisfaction or boredom.

4. The thrill of sneaking around and tasting the forbidden fruit.

5. Couples who marry at an early age and have not had sexual experience with other people. 

6. Men blame their spouse for not pleasing them or that she has lost interest in being intimate. And vice versa for the women who cheat on their male partners. In other words, the cheater is saying that their partner is not enough. 

I can imagine the pain, mental anguish, and emotional frustration the innocent partner struggles through. The first time it happened to me I walked in on my cheating partner. The second time it was a rumor that got back to me. When I confronted my partner, he confessed. I trusted men who cheat, and justify it by using lame lines like, “I love my spouse ” or ” it was just sex it did not mean anything” and ” it was a mistake.” So, am I to understand that each time the cheating partners planned to meet with their outside piece it was a mistake?

I am going to leave this right here….

Thank you for stopping by dragthepen 

When did We Lose Our Way?

Dear Readers

My heart is burdened when I look around and see people struggling with loneliness. I live in New York City” The Big Apple.” The city that never sleeps with eight million stories to tell. The loneliness I refer is not related to being without that special someone who makes your heart throb. This loneliness is deep, painful, and it robs people of the pleasures of life. Why should people be lonely when they a family connection, but these days the distance between is getting wider the reason they claim to be busy or holding onto foolish grudges. Lonely people say they have friends, who do not visit and rarely call, so what is the since in continuing to call them friends? 

Most people who experience loneliness belong to houses of worship, where the commission is to ” love your neighbor as thy self” However, I have observed this special spiritual love is given while attending service, outside of fellowship the bond of love does not seem authentic. It is the same with coworkers, people who are employed at the same company for years even decades, forming friendships, attending events outside of together, and supporting each other through tough times and celebrating the best of times. Only for these bonds to be broken when someone retires or moves away. What happened? Did the friendship or relationship 

People say they are lonely in their marriages and other relationships how can this be, what are husbands, wives and significant others longing for that they do not already have? What happened to the way we used to be? You know like back in the day when no one questioned the importance of family and staying connected. I watched my mother, father, aunts, and uncles form friendships that lasted a lifetime. People took pride in bragging about being in friendship for 20, 30, 40 years. The old folk’s bond of friendship was strong, loyal, and unshakable, sometimes people would forget when friendship ended, and lifelong friends became family. 

It is sad to see people eating alone, traveling alone or home alone because they just do not want to go out and be amongst people, just to be alone. What is it? Is it that people are wrapped up in their lives that taking time to make meaningful connection with family and friends is too much of a task? In my case I gave up. I stopped texting, calling, emailing, blocked people from social media, I called it quits. I remember how long my holiday card list used to be. I would send out no less than 40 cards or more last year 2021, I sent ten. I became weary of traveling to visit others, but they never considered coming to me. 

So, here I am, I have made peace with loneliness. I will not allow myself to be burden by dark clouds or get teary-eyed when I see families or couples enjoying time together. Being alone is difficult, but I have learned to enjoy the authentic people in my life, and I do not give any connection to people labels, like friend or girlfriend. I am grateful for my few good traveling friends. I have decided to do just what the motto says, “live in every moment” of joy that I create.

My hope for the people who are reading this reconsider slowing down and spend meaningful time reconnecting to family and friends, especially the elders they are precious to the foundation of our family. Do not wait for the special occasions there is no time like the present. 

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