Let’s talk about the RING

Dear Readers, There are millions of Women in society who are waiting for the RING. Because they have been  brain washed into thinking that if a man doesn’t give them  a ring he’s not in love. What does getting this RING mean?  Take a moment to listen to my personal story about getting the Ring. I like to hear from you. Thank you for watching.

Getting to know me

Dear Readers,

Hello, hello, hello I’ve hope that you are enjoying Spring break, Easter and Passover celebration.  We are now in the season of spring a time of renewal Mother Nature is spreading her beauty around us. This is a perfect time to properly introduce myself to my audience and tell you about why I created Conversations with J. R.  Conversations with J. R Floyd, was created out of my frustrations and relationship struggles. I started to observe people in relationship and noticed that they experiencing relationship problems, but they aren’t communicating with their partners, they are  talking to other people about their pain and frustration. I don’t think that people enters relationships thinking the worst we all hope to have a long, loving and happy union, but along the way things happen in our lives that affect our relationships, and we sometime wait too long to address the problems in our relationships. On my YouTube channel Conversations with J. R. Floyd   I’ve talked about:

  1. Relationship expectations and how sometimes we hold our partners up to ridiculous expectation. Unbalanced relationship and how relationship becomes unbalanced, and how people Define their relationships.
  2. Compatibility and being an individual within the relationship. I’ve read from both of my books. The Waiting Game and A different Flavor of Love. ( available on amazon)
  3. I’ve talked about clearing the clutter out of our lives, not the clutter in your apartment, cars or garage. The Mental and emotional Clutter that hold us back from having better clarity about life.
  4. I’ve talked about living your best life, which I’m doing right. I shared my battle with mental Illness and Dysfunctional relationships, and why some people stay in relationship past their due date. No I don’t think that relationships should have a due date, but sometimes they do.
  5. You can check out these topics and more by subscribing to my YouTube channel: Conversations with J. R. Floyd. My channel presents a various array of topics. I talked about men and women empowerment, and the lost foundation of family. We move from generations to generation and the value of family has  lost its importance. 
  6. On my journey of reflection, discovery and renewal I wrote another book about my experiences and my journey to find answers. I am not a psychologist, or a relationship expert, and I don’t give out advice. My goal is to engage people in conversations about relationship topics. I am combining my passion for teaching,  reading, writing and exploring to create a platform for people to have meaningful Conversations. I create a blog ( dragthepen on wordpress.com) and my YouTube channel ( Conversations with J. R. Floyd) as way to speak to the world about what other people are not talking to each other about. 
  7. On this journey I discovered that I needed to give  myself over 100% to letting go and purging myself from all past events and traumas.  I’m willingly going through this process because have you noticed that holding onto old stuff is a lot more painful than letting them go. I am letting go to live my best life for me. Not preparing myself for a relationship people usually work on themselves to be better for someone else. I am working on myself to be better for me. I not longer choose to give my time and energy to areas of life that are not supporting my professional, spiritual, and personal growth. I am working on strengthening my self-worth. I have taken back ownership of my life I gave my life away because I didn’t know what I was doing.This winging it seems to be the theme that many people are doing. Many people are afraid to admit that they did not receive a good foundation about intimate relationships. I say, it is never to  late to learn. I am truly enjoying this part of my journey. There you have it. I have properly introduced myself to you and my mission. So come along with me on this journey of conversation, reflection, discovery and renewal you might be surprised about what you learn.  

Guard your Emotions

 

Dear Readers, its seems that people are concerned with matters of the heart. So they use the saying ” guard your heart” I say guard your emotions. Thank you for watching and don’t forget to subscribe to my You Tube channel: Conversations with J. R. Floyd. Thank your support.

 

 

Ten Ridiculous Relationship Myths

Dear Readers,

If you are now joining my blog  a few days ago a light bulb went off in my head. I’ve decided to create a You Tube channel, my own little talk show called Conversations from my Couch. This is an open forum to talk about every day issues, like relationships, women empowerment, health and fitness, political topics, and education. I am going to have fun, but be serious when I need to be. I just want to talk to the PEOPLE. so let me hear from you.

This segment comes to you courtesy of my very, very good friend Sara. She agreed to do an impromptu talk about some relationships myths. Sit Back and have Fun.

Secrets

Dear readers,

Psssst, can you keep a secret? No, this is not a trick question. I think that there are two sides to keeping secrets. First, if you must ask the person you’re about to confess the crimes that you have committed against humanity; if she or he will be able to keep in confidence the information that is burning a hole in your soul, I say to the secret keeper should be cautious as to why the secret teller; is setting up the secrets holder to withhold knowledge about something or someone this could be an unfortunate situation to be in.

Say for an example, an uncle knew that his married nephew had committed adultery, thus destroying the good relationship the uncle had with the wife. The uncle felt it wasn’t his place to divulge this information. In the meantime, he felt that he was betraying the wife, and this caused friction between him and the nephew. In the end the nephew confessed to the wife, she discovered that the uncle knew of the affair, but she never approached him. They have since patched up their marriage. But the relationship between them have changed and the uncle hasn’t visited their home in five years.

Have you noticed that many motivational speakers use the word “secret” and for a price they will tell us the secrets to happiness, wealth, and how to attract a mate, there was a book many years ago called “The Secret” the book claimed that the secret to the law of attraction was simply to alter our thought pattern and the world will change.

Husbands and wives keep secrets from each other. Generations of families live with one dark secrets that only a few dares to whisper. Children learn at an early age how to hide the truth. When an individual testifies in a court of law they are asked to place their hands on a bible, and swear to tell the truth, meaning after taking the oath they can’t keep secrets.

Ask yourself a question the next time someone ask you to keep a secret, do you really want to carry around the responsibility of someone else’s burden?

What say you?

Is it Just Me?

Dear readers,

My son says, “Embrace the transition,” Well i say, ” excuse me for having a moment of insanity.” It’s been 22 days since I was ousted from my home of six years. I’ve never been without my own SPACE. I’ve relocated from one place to another but always to a place of my own for me, myself and I plus a pet or two. I’ve never had a roommate. The word roommate scares me and sends me into a place in my head that I don’t want to visit. I’ve lived alone for 23 years. It wasn’t easy at first this living alone. I was divorce at the age of 30 after six years of marriage. I made many adjustments like: learning to cook for one, how to sleep on both sides of the bed, to keep the mattress from getting lopsided. Eating alone and coming home to an empty house was the most difficult part of being alone. The bed is colder in the winter without the warm of that extra body. Over the years I had my own version of roommates’ dog, cats, three parakeets, a turtle named Franklin and a fish called bear.

I buried myself in establishing a career as an educator, developed my skills as a writer, playwright, and singer. Mother of one fabulous son and grandmother of three, at the age of 53, I can’t call myself homeless, but it feels like I am. A friend and her 24 years old fresh out of Boston College son took me in. So, what all the fuss? I have a good roof over my head, my own room with AC, close to the bathroom, and in an area of the house that is quiet.  It’s only the three us, we have different schedules very much like ships passing in the night. It took me 10 days to unpack and to personalize the space I now live in. I can’t say home, I either say the space I sleep in or the place I live for now.

I feel like a caged bird. I miss lying across my sofa and channel surfing. I miss my weekend Saturday breakfast tray in bed and the afternoon nap. Or coming home siting in my favorite, big, black, leather chair and relaxing with a glass of Merlot and listening to Joseph Hayden’s Mass in the Time of War. I feel like I’m tip toeing around. I worry if I made too many trips to the bathroom, or kept the lights on too late blogging, reading and grading papers. As soon as I arrive there I would prefer to go directly to the room I sleep in, but not to seem anti-social I sit in the dining room and chat.

I have spent 23 years of my life living alone. Besides having the occasional boyfriend. I dwelled in my own space alone. My son says that I should embrace learning how to live with other people. He has a point. I just might end up with a roommate, I live in New York City and the rents are $$$$$$$$$$$$. Living with a roommate scares me more than living alone.

Stay tune for more…………………………..

Gratiude

Dear readers,

Today, I am grateful for my life. I’ve been observing the life style of some of my family and friends, and sometimes I secretly  wished that I had what they have. But upon close investigation, I’ve come to understand that most of them  that I’ve watched with the GREEN EYES of ENVY  with all  their material assets; house, cars, trips, expensive clothes, and other accessories, some of them lack peace and freedom. Let me explain, they seemed happy with all that they have gained, however, while a rare lunch date with my best friend, she confirmed my assumption, when she said, ” There are days that I wished that I could live like you.” I didn’t respond because I was thinking, she has a house, two cars, three beautiful children, and a husband who provides for her. She must be mad, I worked two jobs, ride public transportation ( took  on the second job to save for a car), and I haven’t been in a relationship for six years.

Before I could question her, she continued. “I love my family, but I wished that I would have waited to live my life. You live free of the burdens of having to find a baby sitter for three kids in order to have date night, which is rare, or to go out with the few friends I have. Your house is always clean and quiet. In my house, I constantly hear  voices, asking and demanding my time and attention. I’m totally depended on my husband financially and at time he is tight with money.Besides begin married for 15 years, having my children, I have nothing to show for what I have accomplished beyond my marriage. You travel, paid your way through college, published a book, your self-sufficient, and unlike the rest of the women in our circle you didn’t settle. When you marriage wasn’t working, you left and didn’t look back. Anyway, girl I’m venting, how is the new book coming?”

We continued to eat  lunch and talked about my next book. We parted ways and when I arrived home, put the key in my door to be greeted by my  dogs wagging tail of excitement, It was a that moment that I knew that I haven’t been grateful for my life. I have all that I need and my life is the exactly the way it should be.

What do you have to be grateful for?