The End is NEAR

Dear Readers, 

Lately I’ve been feeling off balance fighting through a period of feeling emotionally and physically drained and disappointed. At this point in my life I feel I need to give deep thought into what I am doing, and is it truly meaningful, or is all of the book writing, blogging, vlogging, just another way of me staying busy, which in turn appears like I am productive and successful. 

Since the start of the pandemic I’ve taken several free courses and just recently completed a 40 hour training to become a Victim Advocate for victims of sexual assault and domestic violence. I feel that it would be a great experience to add to my resume. But, the more that I think I am accomplishing, the bigger the question of what am I doing for my future? Creating a brand, publishing books, joining the International Lions Club, will any of these activities help me in the future. 

I have a timeline. I want to semi-retire in three years at ( 60) and fully retire at 62, and relocate from New York. Can I do this in three to five years on my own? How? To accomplish my retirement vision means less time For my brandConversations with J. R. Floyd. I have two manuscripts I wanted to publish this year, and dealing with the disappointment of being 7 months into this year, and some of the projects I planned had to be rescheduled, and I may not be able to complete them. 

It’s time for me to put the same focus and energy into planning for my future. The last five years I’ve been balancing my time between two jobs that I no desire to continue to do. I am hoping that my upcoming cross country drive from New York to California will help me to refocus my energy and start to design a new vision for my future.  I am not looking for a fresh start or to start over just to work from the foundation that I currently have. 

If anyone has retirement advice or suggestions I would like to hear from you.

Photo by Pixabay on

More About Me

Dear Readers, 

My journey as a blogger, author, and creator of my YouTube channel Conversations with J. R. Floyd, is a personal pilgrimage of healing from a life of chaos and emotional brokenness through deep reflection and self-discovery; leading me to find a new path and live a better life. The events of my past and the trauma connected to those experiences had a profound affect on how I lived my life and the choices I made. I transitioned from an abused and neglected childhood, to a confusing and dark adolescent into adulthood where I made enormous mistakes that are too numerous to recall. 

It wasn’t until I hit rock bottom at the age of 30 that I acquired professional help. I was raised in a religious home and my parents taught their children that all they need to solve their problems is the Bible and prayer. I lived a sheltered life, and looking back at the adults during my childhood they taught me nothing. One of many lessons I learned from therapy is that my parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles lack of knowledge is due to generations of them being in survival mode. I was angry for years at my parents because they didn’t protect me from falling into the cruel ditches of this world; instead my father was busy being a disciplinary and ruling his family with an iron fist, so I learned to fear my father and withdraw. My mother was a hopeless domestic diva who showed no emotions except anger. 

After my experience with therapy I concluded that many of my problems I encountered derived from my childhood, and the adults having influences grooming my young mind filling it with mixed messages and myths that I discovered as an adult were wrong, misleading and harmful.  

My childhood home was constantly in chaos, alcohol and drug, domestic violence, screaming, male domination, and subservient women. When children are not reared in homes that are loving, balanced, financially and emotionally ready, support from extended family members, and nurturing and safe; the results can be devastating, trust me I know from experience. 

  1. Children from dysfunctional or broken families and hindered from seeking out their own identity separate from the family, they are marked the” Black Sheep’ and treated as such. 
  2. When parents make decisions for their children based on the theory that they are too young or emotionally immature to make decisions for themselves; the result is children who grow into adults who make poor choices.
  3. Children who are not taught how to cope with loss, death, separation, relocation of living situations, adults need to bear in mind that children have emotions that they don’t understand, and when they aren’t given the support, love and encouragement they need to cope with loss, the result is an adult who can’t cope with life.
  4. When children transition into adolescence this is a confusing period of their life, they need help, patience and guidance, because this is when most of the troubles begin because adults don’t pay attention to their needs, and label teenagers as difficult.  

My intentions is for my readers to understand the reason behind some of my postings that might seem personal or disturbing. I hope that I can help others who are or have  struggled with past childhood trauma to understand that the pain doesn’t have to last forever and that there is a rainbow at the end of rain.

Thank you for stopping by dragthepen.

The Message

Dear Readers,

Take a good look around at the level of dysfunctional  and broken young men and women of this generations and how they are becoming the next generation of  adults that will be unable to establish good relationships.  Why? Because we are not helping to build a solid foundation for them.