Throwback Thursday

Dear Readers,

The Colonization of the Black woman

The beauty myth

                “I’m black and I’m proud” was the black woman anthem during the Black is beautiful movement in the 60s. Nubian princesses proudly sported their natural afros, cornrows, and close cropped cut like the style fashioned by South African singer Miriam Makeba.  The current trend amongst black women in America is to display the image of what white society deems is the standards of beauty for women of color by enforcing European standards of beauty, which emphasizes a lighter skin color and a concern prescribed hair type. This type of programming deprives women of color the opportunity to express and explore their true identity because they are consistently bombarded by the media with the ideal Barbie image.  Black women are brain washed into altering their appearance to mimic that of the European or Asian woman because they are foolish to believe that they are enhancing their own beauty.

There is a fine line between enhancing ones natural attributes versus surgical alterations in order to gain acceptance. Black women who choose to mask who they are, run the risk of being labeled “sell outs” and “cowards” because they prefer to conform rather than stand firm in the belief that black is beautiful.

What Say You? Than you for stopping by Drathepen.



Sacred Vessel

Ladies your body should not be used as tool of negotiation in any relationship, partnership or any situation ship you find yourself in your body is sacred it has value it belongs to you. Your and houses your soul, mind, spirit and your heart. You are connected to Mother Earth , to the Sun, the moon, the wind and the four Direction’s of this world. Your body belongs to you, respect yourself watch this video leave some comments. Remember your body is a sacred vessel


STAY With Me

Dear Reader,

Commitment, promise, obligation, assurance or pledge, these are a few words that people use when they desire their partner to COMMIT to being involved in an exclusive relationship. To counteract this request men and women will come up with the most creative excuse as to why they do not want to seal the deal so to speak. In these modern times, developing a long-lasting partnership is becoming increasingly difficult to establish. The rules of partnership have changed because people want to test drive a relationship or want a trial period. Here are some facts people have been burnt, hurt, scorned, used, broken, and in some cases emotionally damaged beyond repair. Deep down inside we all desire to have a good, stable partnership, in my own personal opinion and experience relationships do not have to be as dramatic as some people make them. It is disparaging that we live in a society that seldom supports healthy relationships why? We are not creating an environment of support rather we turn our heads and pretend not to notice that couples, especially young couples are struggling with the basic knowledge of how to nurture each other and cultivate a solid foundation for their relationship. We live in a society where the means to fix a broken relationship is for each person to engage in relationships outside of their partnership, getting their needs meet because they claim that they are not receiving what they need from home. We have advanced into using any means necessary to avoid going home. Men calming they are working late and women take on projects that will keep them away from home. Better yet, one partner works in the daytime while the other works at night calming that this is the best solution for the children. There are hundreds if not thousands of books and article written by professional who claim to have a remedy to restore these damaged relationships. Maybe some of their suggestion and research-based solution might work for some, in the meantime, all of this dysfunction, drama and avoidance in relationships is all due to one simple word COMMIT.

What Say You?

Traditional Women versus Modern Ladies

Dinner conversation with my mother went something like this:


my mother and grandma ( her mother)

Mother: “Why can’t today’s women be like the ladies of my time?”

Me: “Mom what are you taking about?”

Mother: “Look at how these so called modern girls dress, they don’t keep house well, can’t or won’t cook, and their behavior is out of control.”

Me: “Women of today are exploring what the world has to offer them.”

Mother: “Well, if you ask me, all of this freedom is causing problems in the home. The women who want to have a job over a husband and children is selfish.”

Me: “Most if not all the women from your generation (side bar my mother was born 1943) are living in denial, the world has changed and the nature of what women need and can do has evolved and so have their role in society.”

Mother: “That the problem women have forgotten their place. In my day women understood where we belonged, in the home, tending to our children, cooking and cleaning and making sure things in the home was right when our husbands came home.”

Me: “There are still women who desire to get married and have babies. However, there is nothing wrong with the few women who choose to either delay marriage and children or not to get married and have children. The major difference between your generation and mine is that we have choices, in your day you did not. I am sure that there were women of your time who did not want to get married as young as they did, but they had no choice or say in the matter.

Mother: That might be true but….

Me: No buts, mom, the women of your generation bash today’s women because they resent not having the freedom to explore life and make their own choices. I have heard many of your friend’s say, “if they could start life over, they would make better decisions.”  What you see expressed by this generation is a reflection of what they view on reality shows; look around mother no one is teaching the young women of today good values. Look at the four daughters, you raised, you taught us proper valves like, self-respect, being self-sufficient and creative. You showed us how to think for ourselves, to dress and behave like women. Most important you gave and showed us that we are loved.  Mom, most of the young women of today never experienced having a close bond with their mother or grandmother like me and my sisters did. The world has changed and it will continue to do so, instead of criticizing the modern women as  you called them, show share with them what you have given me, cause at the end of the day, they  want to be love, not looked down on.

Mother: Speechless

What say you?