When was the moment you discovered the narrative about being unworthy. By narrative I mean the private conversation that you have in your head about being unworthy. Then there is society and all the confusing voices measuring and judging your worth according to your net worth, education, class status, your circle of friends, where you reside, and whether you are a renter or a homeowner.
What relationship were you in when he or she told you that ” you were fortunate to have taken up space in their life” and they made you feel that you were beneath their standards, and you brought into that lie. Who was the family member or members who told you as a child that you were ugly, undeserving, mischievous, and wasn’t going to amount to anything good? Did those voices of negativity follow you into adulthood?
At your place of employment you grind to shine only to be demeaned, belittle, devalued, and told that the work your produce isn’t good enough, and you are barred from membership in the office clicks, thus you brood and begin the narrative that your not good enough.This game of labeling individuals not good enough leads to feelings of being unworthy, and it’s a form of bullying. So what do you do? When all the arrows of being unworthy point at you, beating down your self worth, self esteem, and breaking your spirit.
Night and day this narrative of being unworthy haunts you, and you doubt who you are and what you’re capable of achieving. Then you become trapped in a ugly cycle of trying to fix yourself to become the ideal image of worthiness. You seek approval and hope others will build up your confidence. You buy name brand clothes, and shoes, you become an addict staying neatly groomed, you eat at the right places, buy membership into health clubs, and network with people who are only name droppers.
You strive and strive to the point of frustration because you don’t see progress in being worthy. You continue on this cycle of trying to prove that you’re worthy, until you’re so beaten down and deep into the abyss of untruth that you’re willing to accept anybody’s truth about your worthiness.
Then the bough breaks. All the emotional damage, mental stress, physical hardship, sleepless nights, tears, fears, come rushing forward all at once. What do you do?
The only thing you can.
You stand still, look in the mirror and tell yourself you are worthy. You block out the voices and
images in society that tell you that you need to believe the hype that buying into someone else dictating your self -worth isn’t an option for you. You greet each new day with you head up, shoulders squared, and walk with the stride of a Naval officer, erect and determined. You keep staying to yourself that you are worthy and then you create your life based on what you know your worth by your own standards.
You refuse to play this dangerous game of giving your soul over to others who will mishandle you. You play by your own rules and refuse to bend to the cries of conformity. And at the end of the day you can look those naysayers in the eyes not with anger and resentment, but with pride and strength because they know you know your worth and there is nothing they can do.
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