If you’ve been following me lately, I’m so obsessed with my plight that I didn’t see the brick-wall in front of me. When I smashed into it I became fully aware how burnt out, and drained I am. Today, I faced the writing on the wall. At this present time there is nothing I can do to solve my living situation, short of spending my life savings to hire an over paid realtor who will show me apartments that don’t suit me or the rent is above my pay grade. I’ve gained 15 pounds, cancelled two trips, put all writing projects on hold and ended a very promising relationship. I’ve helped people in my same situation, that was all good and dandy until I found myself in the same predicament.
No one told me that life still goes on. And to continue to live as though I’m still living in my own space. My biggest problems is trying to deal with the feelings of shame and embarrassment. I want this darkness to be over tomorrow but it won’t. My belongings are in storage, and so on and so on…….
So, I decided to listen to the voice inside my head that keeps whispering, ” stop beating yourself up.” To kick-start my road to recovery I created a list in the order of importance. Of course locating a new place to live is at the top. But in the meantime, I’ve secured more of my belongings from storage, re-booked both trips, and completed week one of a two-week fitness camp, working my way to a healthier life. And I stopped ignoring my family and friends for expressing their concern about my pity party.
Today is Sunday, I attended my first family dinner. It’s amazing how good food, great wine, laughing, smiling , getting much-needed hugs helped me to realized how good life is.
What say you?