Dear Love

Dear, Readers, at the start of this new year ( 2020) I invited my readers, supporters and viewers of my You tube Channel, Conversations with J. R. Floyd, to join me in a long adventure with writing a letter to self. for each month i read my letter to self on my you tube channel and live on Facebook. the mission of my Brand, conversations with J. R. Floyd is to uplift people who;s heart and spirit have been broken. if you missed my letter to self in January you can find it on my You Tube channel. thank you for stopping by dragthepen.

 

Dear Love, 

For a long, long time I did not know who you were. Oh, I have heard talk about romantic love, passionate love, poetic love, fake love, black love, sister love and love of a spouse. My entire life I did not know that the intense longing in my soul was because I needed you, and I  did not understand that authentic love comes from the pure dept of a person’s heart and spirit. My misunderstanding of love begin when I was a child I did not know the sweet comforts of the words “ I love You”  there weren’t any loving hugs, night time kisses, bedtime stories, and no one scared away the things that went bump in the night. Instead, I was shooed away told to disappear, be quiet and keep my needs to myself. So, I went through my childhood, adolescence and adulthood thirsting for the security, protection, warmth, a sense of belonging and a deep soul connection. Along this journey to find LOVE, I mistaken lust for love, men’s aggressive and jealous behavior as love, my thinking was wrong because I took the verbal and aggression towards as an expression of LOVE.. 

 

I did some things that I am ashamed of in exchange for what I thought was LOVE. I was betrayed, conned, mislead, and broken over and over, and I once almost conspired to sell my soul to the devil for the sake of feeling this LOVE. At this point in my life it is too late for the father daughter talk, my father is no longer with me in the flesh. And my relationship with my mother is distant and broken, I made many attempts to reach out to her to ask why had she been an emotionally detached mother, but she ignored my plea.. 

 

So, here I am LOVE, not chasing you anymore. I have shut down the lustful desires of my flesh in exchange of getting to know who I am,  loving myself is my only priority. You see LOVE, I have been looking for you in all the wrong faces and hearts. You have lead me down some long dark dank tunnels only to abandon me. I will no longer be fooled by your smooth talk, unfulfilled promises, and your touch of fornication will no longer have a hold on my soul. 

 

My first LOVE will be me. Yes, you heard me. I have begun the process of loving me first and unconditionally. I am going to give to myself security and protection from all the Don Juans  of this world who seek to suck out my soul and drain my spirit. I will provide for me, and keep promises to myself, I look forward to each day with joy and excitement of seeing me grow into the person I can LOVE. I am not going to look for you, LOVE anymore. This is a new day, I am walking a new path, and you should come to find me, and by the time you catch up to me I will be the LOVE you are looking for.  

 

Next months letter to self, Dear  LIFE.

We are what We Think

Dear Readers,

The challenges of the LGBTQ community I know not, here’s what I  have observed the emotional, physical and psychological turmoil that some individuals encounter, and  the population most effected young adults who seldom loose connection with their family due to coming out. I approach writing about some of the problems within the LGBTQ community with much hesitance. This posting is not about religious or political correctness, or who is right or wrong. I am writing this from a viewpoint of observing people mistreated, demeaned and in a few cases lives taken, such as in the case of Matthew Shepard his murder gave the nation a deep and disturbing look at hate crimes committed against people in the LBGTQ community. In Detroit, two Gay men and A Transgender women were murdered because they were a part of the LGBTQ community. The labels of being sick, perverse, unnatural, evil, an abomination, freaks, perverts, and many other countless ways angry heterosexuals refer to people of the LGBTQ community. Heterosexual men and women are afraid that their own sexuality will be questioned if they are in the company of LGBTQ people. Everyone is entitled to his or her opinion, and the deeply religious people pride their Christian faith on, “loving thy neighbors as thy self,” but little love and support is expressed towards the population of young adults who are struggling to find their space in a society that condemns them. The LGBTQ community have made progress in helping to create laws that protects them, the question is why should they need protection under the banner of the Declarations of  Independence that declares that ” all men are created equal”  which can be interpreted as ” all of humanity”. I say, it is unfair for a people to have to fight for recognition and inclusion in a society that deems them outcasts’ because of who they choose to love and simply for being whom they are. If any of my readers interrupt, my voice as  taking sides and supporting the LGBTQ community, my response is that I am supportive of people, humanity,  and their right to have “Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness” We cannot as a nation continue to be selective of who can and cannot be protected under the law.

It seems so easy to HATE than to open our hearts and minds towards understanding and compassion. I have witnessed and know of many cases where children are turned out of their homes because they came out to their family. I hear Ministers preaching with vigor about the abomination of being a part of the LGBTQ community, yet the church is overran with corruption, Pastors stepping down due to misconduct, discrimination, adultery, and thievery. I state this boldly, having been a daughter of a Pastor, and witnessed these acts of sin within the wall of a place that is supposedly to be a house of worship for all and a safe haven. Moreover, for the Bible toting believers in Christ, who’s only defense is to quote Genesis 2:18, I remind my readers that the Bible has been written and rewritten more time than we can count by men. The public’s opinion and judgment against the LGBTQ community is simply that their way of life is wrong, however, strong this opinion, no one have presented factual events as to why they are wrong. History has proven that there has been same sex couple since the creation of the first civilization. We as a society have become accustomed to offering our voices towards the discrimination of individuals and groups we feel do not fit into a certain standard. Look back at our history Slavery, Immigrants, the poor, the uneducated, gender bias that led to the 1920’s women’s suffrage movement and other feminists movements, and people who are born with mental and physical disabilities. In today’s, modern society we continue to classify individuals based on income, class, skin color, body sizes, and preference of hairstyles. The problems that is tarnishing our ability to live in peace is the continued belief  that people should be judged based on what those in power think, and then the majority follows along without give thought to the lives that are affected due to actions of bigotry. We have learned nothing from our past, when will we as a nations in the word of the late Martin Luther King Jr, when will we live in society were people are not judged by anything but “the content of their character.”

 

To my readers, this is not the end, but the beginning; in 2020, I will produce a documentary based on the thoughts, experiences and lives of young adults who have been affected by coming out. Stay tuned….

 

What say you?  Dragthepen

The Duel

Dear readers,

The allegory of the sword and the pen

One is no more dangerous than the other.

How say you?

The blade of the sword is Sharpe it’s made for cutting.

Well, the pen has a Sharpe tip that is capable of cutting with words.

Yes, I see your point.

They both can lose their edge.

Edge?

Yes, the sword becomes dull and needs to be sharpened.

The pen will run out of ink and must be refilled.

I see, but the sword can draw blood.

The pen will bleed if the top is removed.

A sword is used for protection.

Did you ever hear that the pen is mightier than the sword?

This is nonsense there is no comparison, a sword is bigger, powerful, dangerous and heavy.

Yes, but a pen is small, swift, light weight, and easy to conceal making it a secret and deadly weapon.

Aha! swords are used by knight who serve at court.

The ladies who write love letters to these lords of courtship use feather pens.

Touché’

What say you?

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Delicate Matter

Dear readers,

Unfaithful, cheater, and infidelity these are some of the labels used to describe people who engage in a sexual alliance with someone other than their mate.  This naughty behavior contributes to the breakdown of trust and shows lack of consideration for the innocent partner.

The adulterers will ask for forgiveness wanting their mate to believe that he/she made a mistake. Pleading momentary insanity, and claiming that “They were experiencing problems in their relationship when they willingly entered into a sexual agreement with another person, and that the sex didn’t mean anything.”

So, not only has the adulterers broken his/her vow of commitment of being monogamist; they fake a performance, trying their best to express content towards the not so innocent participate, who is now “meaningless” because they got CAUGHT. Many women and men in this situation often forgive their partner (the adulterers ) and continue the relationship.

Forgiving adultery is not the dilemma, think about this, forgiving a person who willingly took the time to plan and execute having what they refer to as “meaningless sex” that probably involved lying to their partners, and the adulterers may or may not have used protection, while engaging in the forbidden fruit.

This is what I say. What say You?

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