Coffee In Bed

Dear Readers, 

This is one of those days that I am grateful for singlehood. I live in New York City, it’s Saturday, rainy, chilly and cloudy. The small apartment complex I reside in is unusually peaceful. I slept late ( 12 noon). I woke up to my cat, Hamlet angry ūüė° cries for food. I decided this is the perfect day to spend in my bedroom. I prepared my coffee tray, grabbed the laptop, bottles of water, and positioned myself in the middle of my bed. 

Oh, the joy of peace, coffee in bed, and living alone affords me the space and quiet time to recover from the wear and tears from the outside world. At 57, I would appreciate a partner who understands how to benefit from quiet time. I’ve experienced marriage once and it didn’t afford me quiet time. I’ve lived with roommates and don’t care to revisit those horror stories. My last relationship two years ago, I was engaged and lived with my fiance for 30 days. I realized it wasn’t going to work. 

He did not understand quiet time. He had big screened Tvs in every room except the bathroom. He woke up making noise, talking, talking, he was 6 feet 2 and had a loud voice. He misunderstood my need for silence as anger, I moved out in a hurry into a roommate situation. It was a spacious apartment, clean and bright. But my roommate a tall handsome man in his 60s and a retired carpenter, was an early riser  7 days a week, and he was VERY noisy. I endured living there for a year, over time he caught onto my need for quiet time and toned down the noise.

Dec 13, 2019, I moved into my own space. The apartment complex has three floors and unfortunately for me I am on the first floor. I have noisy neighbors who walk like beasts. My landlord has done an amazing job of helping to keep the peace, so on the rare days of silence I enjoy coffee in bed and movies. 

After the fiasco with the last relationship, I’ve been paying attention to how I enjoy living something I’ve never done previously. Here’s what I learned. I like being alone 75 percent and the other 25 percent,  I like to cook and entertain friends and family, and after two years of being free,  I don’t want any males in my living space, and there are no plans for dating in the near future. I’ve rediscovered the joys of sleeping alone, the benefits of having my own bathroom, and the delight of coming home to silence.

This has been a great weekend starting with Friday, the weather was amazing, warm, sunny and all the snow has melted. I cooked and cleaned, and  I had a visitor who brought me my first house warming gift, a glass chess set. The food, wine and company was just what I needed to end such a glorious day. So, here I am in the glory of a beautiful, mellow, silent Saturday, now this is what it means by living in the moment.  

I hope you are enjoying your weekend.

Recovery Day

Dear Readers, 

Recovery day, some people advise taking a self care day. My question to you is do you take time to create a structured recovery day? While you’re thinking about the answer, bear in mind that some people become deeply caught up in the ‚Äú Grind‚ÄĚ that they lose focus and the drive to create a good self care plan for them and family.¬†¬†

Recovery day is an entire day off from physical and mental work. I am thankful that I live alone and my peace on recovery days is not disturb. Even if you live at home with family, think about introducing recovery day, especially if there are children in the home. Teaching children how to have a recovery day or down time will be helpful to their emotional and mental well-being, children will understand how to enjoy quiet time at home. Most homes are filled with  noise, chaos, 24 hours TV watching, video games, social media, babies crying, children running, playing, and fighting, and no one is paying attention to how all of this chaos and noise is affecting them emotionally and mentally.  

I am talking from experience. Growing up as a child privacy and quiet time was not taught it was frowned upon. My parents’ attitude was I lived in their house and should abide by their rules, so staying in my room for private or quiet time was viewed as being defiant. When I became an adult and started living on my own I began to understand the importance of developing good habits of structuring recovery days.¬†

 My rules for recovery day

  1. No house cleaning 
  2. Sleep late or just rest in bed
  3. Eat healthy foods and drink lots of water
  4. No checking social media, emails, or long phone conversations 
  5. Think about the week ahead and plan 
  6. If you have children limit watching television, read or play board games 
  7. Have a family meal and talk
  8. Connect with self wash your hair, give a self manicure and rub your feet 
  9. If the weather permits take a walk

 Recovery day should end either by making popcorn and watching a good movie or continue reading that book you want to finish, and go to bed early time.  

Thank to for stopping by dragthepen.