I Got Caught Up

Dear Readers,

It has been about three months since I posted. Here to let you know that both my dragthepen WordPress blog and my brand Conversations with J. R is doing well. I have been busy getting my books out, currently working on the sequel to A Different Flavor of Love, in production meetings for my first film The Conversation, due out Summer 2023, during all this something amazing happened. After 16 years working in the field of education, I thought it was time to take a break and try another profession. I updated my resume, released it out into the universe, crossed my fingers, and prayed. And in July,  I was hired as an Independent Living Specialist for residents in transitional housing. Bear with me I titled this ” I got caught up”, But what I should have said was ” I was overwhelmed” meaning, I was not ready for the changes that were coming.

I was excited about being a part of a dynamic organization making a difference in people’s lives helping them to obtain permanent affordable housing. However, as time progressed, I noticed that this new opportunity was chipping away my personal time. I was not blogging, or creating videos for my YouTube channel, I stopped working on my manuscript, and I constantly had to reschedule my book photo shoot. It was not just my creative side that was suffering; I was always feeling physically and mentally drained. I consider myself to be an active person, and never have I ever been a lazy person. During this transition period I developed unhealthy habits, like eating junk and fast-food, I stopped cooking and Grub Hub became my new best friend, I gave up on exercising and I let go of my favorite pastime reading. To make matters worse I have a puppy and he felt my frustration when I came home and did not want to interact with him, so he started acting out. 

My mood changed and I became antisocial because the new position was sucking the life out of me. Here is the scary part. Since I created my brand Conversation with J. R. Floyd, I advocate for self-care and during my conversations l ask my audience to think about WIN What’s Important Now, learn to slow down and prioritize life in the order of what’s important first, what can wait, and what’s not needed. I became caught up in the excitement of something new and the increase in salary, and justified sacrificing myself, time with family and friends, self-care, vacations, even a well-planned staycation to reset and rejuvenate. I saw the increased salary the pathway to the life I want until I understood what’s sacrificed. Think about this: being caught up in careers and higher salary to the point that relationships suffer, marriages breakdown, family falling apart, and developing physical and mental health issues. In my situation I had to stop and think about what’s happening and why? 

That was six months ago, and I began the slow process of rearranging my life and adjusting getting myself back on track. My creative side is the best and most powerful part of me. When I create a podcast, blog post or producing ideas for a new book, this gives my life meaning and purpose. I used to think that when people say phrases like, ‘ take back your life” that it sounded corny, not anymore. Due to what I have experienced these pass months I honestly understand how I allowed key areas of my life to slip away from me, it was simply ” I got caught up”. I became caught up in the hype of being around new people in a different working environment, and I forgot to practice balance. It was a difficult adjustment transitioning from higher education to an office setting.

I think by now you got the point of this conversation. Reminder, the holiday season is fast approaching, and people are, going to become stressed with planning, shopping, cooking, cleaning, overspending, and holiday parties. I am going to end with these wise words. 

Trust the process that everything will fall into place

Slow down and savor the present moment

Make time to enjoy the small joys in life

Do your own thing because you want

to and not because you have to

Give your mind and body the love and attention it deserves

Don’t take things personally just work towards the best version of yourself

Pause and reset

Home Sweet Home?

aromatherapy bloom blossom bright

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Dear Readers,

when you open the door of your home and welcome people in and say, ” make yourself at home” are you being truthful or saying this out courtesy. The late two years I’ve moved four times living  in other people’s home. I live in New York City and the rents are out of control.  Most people are forced into a roommate situation.  Since the age of 30 I have lived in my own space with a small dog, or a cat and I once had a bird. I am 55 and often feel humiliated about my situation.

Each roommate situation it is suggested that I ” make myself at home” before I go on it is noteworthy to say that I am quiet, very neat I like every in it place. I burn scented candles, keep a dust free home and never walk inside with my shoes on. I think of home as a safe, clean, peaceful and happy environment to relax, rejuvenate and mentally and emotionally reset to cope with the struggles of the” Grind”.

Now, back to ” make yourself at home” in each place I have resided there wasn’t the feeling of home due to the consistent reminders that I wasn’t at home. People have a tendency to drop hints or suggestions about how things are done in ” their home”. For example, I have an unusual schedule meaning, I don’t have a Monday to Friday 9 to 5. I often leave home early and return late. When I enter I do so quietly, and on my days off I enjoy sleeping late because I don’t often experience the luxury of staying in bed. I am often asked questions like, what time did I get in? Or hear statements like, oh your home today. When I cook I like to do so alone with music and a glass of wine. Lately, I have had company in the kitchen watching what I do and questioned why I do what I do the way I do it. As a result I spend less time in the kitchen. I bite my lip, smile and practice patience because I am at the mercy of the homeowner. I am often angry and question why do people willingly invite others into their homes, collect rent then proceed to be a dictator by creating an uncomfortable environment.

To my readers, people become displaced from their homes for various reasons. In my case my last landlord sold the house I was living in and

didn’t grant me time to find another place. So, my journey has taken me two years and four different roommates. Gone is the feeling of ” Home sweet Home”. I long to feel stable and at peace. I missed curling up on my sofa and binge watching NCIS, while eating popcorn and drinking wine. I want the privacy of my own bathroom and kitchen. I miss having a pet, burning candles, listening to jazz and just doing as I damn well please.

I am keeping my fingers crossed I’ve been promised a one bedroom apartment that I can afford by the New Year 2020. What a glorious way to start the year in my own space. As you read this here is something to ponder, think about a time in your life when circumstances changed, think about the discomfort, the feeling of humiliation and the disbelief that life has dealt you a curveball that you weren’t ready for. Think about how you wanted to be treated versus how you were treated. In all of my living situations I was a means to an end. I do take comfort that my current situation gives me the peace of mind and space to reboot. My room has become my sanctuary, its larger, bright and allows me to be comfortable until I can unpack and hang my ” Home Sweet Home” sign.💖