Repeat after me.
be kind to yourself 💙
Thank you for stopping by dragthepen
Repeat after me.
be kind to yourself 💙
Thank you for stopping by dragthepen
In an ideal world I would have loved to wake up to the warm body of the man I love and a breakfast tray brought to my bed. I grind hard and would enjoy spending this perfect cozy, lazy Saturday with my partner who appreciates me and the effort I put into life and making our partnership a priority. Unfortunately, we don’t live in an ideal world. I woke up along, but praise God for the warm bed and roof over my head. I made my own breakfast tray and enjoy resting in bed before heading out to complete the business of the day. Life would be made easier with a help mate who truly understand that a relationship is a partnership with a balance of two people sharing the daily tasks of life. I am blessed that I am able to take care of myself, but this isn’t the way the creature planned for a man and woman to be alone. Most people like myself choose singleness over settling . I haven’t given up on love I choose to love me and wait until the man who is truly right for me to enters my life. Love yourself you are worth it💖
Dear Readers, The information that we gain over time through experiences is what shapes us. How many time have you hear people say, ” I wish I knew then what I know now.” maybe I would have made better choices. I say, what you didn’t know then wasn’t for you to know. We are a result of our experiences whether negative or positive it’s because we work with the information we are given, and sometimes we work with what we think we know on our own. It is never too late to use the new information that we are given in order to make out life better. Thank you for watching and don’t forget to like this video.
Many years ago I read Self Matters by Dr. Phil, In the Meantime and Value in the Valley, by Iyanla Vanzant, this was in the 90s, at that time I was under the silly notion that reading these books was going to make me a better person for the next relationship.
Here it is 24 years later, and I revisited these same books and the message is much clearer. Why? Today, I have better understanding that seeking to be a better me for the sake of a relationship was at the root of me thinking that I needed validation as a women, and this validation depended on whether I was successfull in a relationship.
What I did not understand then was how to value my experiences even when they were painful, and emotionally damaging. I did not receive the lesson that I was supposed to be better for me. So the more I worked at being better for the next relationship the less I knew about me.
I did not know that I was supposed to learn lessons about why I seeked out men who were only interested in the physical aspect of the relationship. I did not comprehend that the time in between relationships should be used for self reflection. I did not want to be alone and I thought the cure for my loneliness was a man. I was unaware that the period of transition from one relationship to the next is called the “meantime”… a time to heal, reflect, and wait. My in the meantime meant crying, depression, drinking, and trying to figure out ways to make him come back. It was always about the relationship because I did not know that self mattered until I read Dr. Phil’s book. What I gathered is this that a dyfuncational self leads to attracting dyfuncational and abusive men.
The value in my experience taught me what wasn’t working and why. I was putting too much attention nursing my pain and thinking this isn’t going to happen again, but it did happen more times than I care to count.
I blamed men. I convinced myself that they were mean, abusive, cold, heatless, lairs, cheaters, cheap and can not be trusted. After years of soul searching, healing and learning about myself, I understand my role in opening the door for the abuse. I believed the lies because I did not want to face the truth. I knew the men I was involved with were cheaters and cheap. They weren’t heartless and cold these men did not want to be emotionally connected to me they way I desired. The men from my past knew that I had low self esteem, and that I hadn’t discovered my self worth. They saw me as an opportunity and a means to an end.
As difficult as this may be to hear there is Value in our Experiences. While we are going through the darkness we can’t see the lessons. It is when we step away from the drama, and push through to the light we can come to terms with the experiences that teach the lessons that brings awareness.
Thank you for stopping by dragthepen.
Please visit my website
Dear Readers, we live in a society where body shaming is due to people trying to live up to an ideal body image. Question, what happens in a relationship over time when a partners beauty fades and their physical appearance changes, do you consider looking elsewhere or do you stay and embrace and love your partner? Let’s be realistic nothing stays the same, over time things change, but this is not the same as a person letting themselves go. as most people do. I hope that this will inspire people to have intimate conversations with each other and begin to heal.
Thank you for watching. For more relationship topics subscribe to my YouTube channel Conversations with J. R. Floyd
Dear Readers, Happy 4th of July.🇱🇷
I have ventured out into a new area. I have a podcast, Conversations with J. R. Floyd, on Sound Cloud. Listed below are a few topics. Happy listening.😊
The you for listening.💖
J. R. host of Conversations with J. R. Floyd on You Tube
Happy Anniversary to me
It’s the one year Anniversary of Conversations with J. R. Floyd. One year since I created this platform of having Conversations with you on my You Tube Channel and live on Facebook. It’s the people that support my efforts of making my vision a reality and for this I am deeply grateful.
I am celebrating life in a new way because life has not always been good. In 2013, I stated this journey of self-discovery, and I have learned so much about me and why I was headed down a road of darkness.
For a long time I didn’t think that my life was worth getting out of bed day after day. I didn’t feel any joy in the things that I was doing, and getting my education drained me. For years I worked two job in order to support myself. The biggest disappointment is that I did not acquire the career path I envisioned. At the time I did not understand that my life would take a different turn that would lead me to creating something more meaningful with my life.
After succumbing to a three year depression over my failed attempt of becoming a public school teacher, and struggling through a few disastrous relationships; In 2015 I hit rock bottom emotionally and financially I wanted life to end. But I keep pushing holding into the last bit of hope that someday my life would change. And change it did but change wasn’t without its own set of struggles.
It all started with a Valentine’s Day post that I do each year on Facebook. A friend of mine read the post and asked me did I have a blog, of course the answer was no. She introduced me to the world of WordPress, it took about three months before I got the hang of blogging. I went from blogging to drafting my first novel ” The Waiting Game” follow by a short short, ” A different flavor of Love”, This same friend introduced me to the world of self publishing . The journey has not been easy I have a lot to learn. The biggest lesson I have learned is that I am capable of doing more then what I expected of myself, the truth of the matter is that I was limiting myself.
Last year 2018, I created Conversations with J. R. Floyd, my You Tube channel out of frustration of a failed engagement. I had to stop myself because I wasn’t making progress and my quality of my life was ZERO. I relocated a great distance away from friends and family. I put completing my Masters in Education on hold. I took a three month leave of absence from teaching, and kept working three days at my second position as a residence counselor. I did not watch TV, checked my email twice a day ( Morning and Evening) I only posted what I needed on my Facebook page one a week, and asked my family and friends to respect my need for space and time out.
I found this amazing group of women on Instagram and joined a 90 day writing and journal challenge. No matter the daily obstacles I stuck to the plan. I ate clean, worked out as often as I could and started reading again. As I result of the 90 days in seclusion I completed my journal of 90 of self reflection, discovery and renewal, I have decided to publish this journal in hoped that people will read it and understand that they are not alone in their struggles. Conversations with J. R. Floyd is my new brand. I have found my notch.
Wow. What a difference a year makes. I still do not watch much TV, I like the reading and their is so much I have to learn about becoming a public speaker, in my new BIO I list myself as being a Singer, Blogger, Writer, Educator, and Motivational and Transformation Coach and Speaker. June 17, 2019, after three years of preparing I finally made it to Carnegie Hall to perform Robert Schumann’s Requiem with my classical chorus. This month July, I am traveling to California to tape my show Conversations with J. R. Floyd. My life has taken on a fresh new existence. I walk taller and I have a sense of clarity that I have never had.
I will always be true to my first love teaching, I never became a public school teacher, life had others plans for my talents. I teach English Literature and Grammar workshops to ESL students at a Community College. This past Winter ( Jan to June) I had the privilege to teach my first and I hope not my last High School Equivalency class to a group of amazing adults. My path in life is clear I am called to use my knowledge of the English language to inspire my students, develop my skills as a writer/blogger, while conquering the area of public speaking.
I am no longer trying to establish a career because I now know that I have to create my own opportunity. I know my Romeo is out there, but right now, I am not interested in interrupting my flow, I like my peace, my space to create, the new path that I am walking and the people’s lives that I am touching. When I wake up each morning I have purpose and the drive and energy to make my vision a reality. Happy Anniversary to me.
P.S. coming up soon my new website, my 90 days of Refection, Discovery and Renewal journal soon to be published, In the meantime, my first two novels ” The Waiting Game” & A Different Flavor of Love” are available on Amazon.
Thank you for reading, commenting, and watching my videos
J. R. Floyd a.k.a Dragthepen
Dear Readers and Viewers, I have discovered that the negative words and action that were done to some of us as children have had an impact on how we view who we are. What is important to understand is that childhood scares get buried under all the other negative experiences until some triggers a memory and takes you back to that time in our life when we didn’t feel safe or love. My goal in sharing my story is that people will stop judging and insisting that we ” get over it and let go” instead start a dialogue that will lead to a new path of healing. Thank you for watching. Please support me by subscribing to my You Tube channel: Conversation with J. R. Floyd
In today’s society when people mention the word SPACE while engaged in a relationship, they tend to have a negative view about the meaning of your partner wanting space. I interrupt space as a need for a time out or a mental break. This time out or a mental break doesn’t have to have a negative impact on the relationship.
Watch my video and tell me what you think about space in the relationship.
Dear readers, we are living in a society were self -care frowned upon the myth is that if you are taking time to care for self, than you are robbing your partner or children of you. So, little by little you give up the things you enjoy. Take a look at my video and get back to Doing you. Remember a happy partner is a happy relationship.
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