From a Woman You Are Born

Dear Readers,

I don’t mean to start the New Year off on a sour note, but there is something that’s been on my mind and I would like to hear what you have to say about this matter. I have noticed a black-lash focused on women. There is this idea that what has gone wrong with men is because women need be better. A very popular Pastor, stated that ” women who say they don’t need a man is suffer from the spirit of lesbianism”. It is also said that women who are fortunate to be self- sufficient, and that their well being isn’t depended upon a man that these women are single because they are not allowing a man to be a man.

Black women are are the top of this accusation because it is said that they are the reason why millions of black men are incarcerated. These men have lost their place in their homes because some women have risen up and taken charge, so men no longer feel useful, in other words, “they don’t feel like a man”.

So, there are books, conferences, webinars,and seminars for the purpose of getting women to understand their submissive role, as a mother and wife, and not as an individual, and some how by going outside of their normal roles they don’t fit into society. There is a course titled, Wife in Training, in this course women are being told to wait and prepare for their husbands. Women are being told not to date because dating leads to sex, and a woman who have had multiple sex partners is referred to as used or loose. I have observed and spoken to women who are waiting in anger and frustration because they desire to be deemed ” a good women”. Some women are young and have little to no experience with men, therefore, their minds and hearts can be molded by the first man who comes along and says those magic words, ” I love You”.
Forced marriages, arranged marriages, women sold into marriages, women who are married to abusers who on the outside portrays himself to be the perfect husband and a pillar of the community. Women are suffering behind closed doors due to financial abuse, cheating husbands, absentee husbands, the kind that works, pays the bills and arrives home when he feels it needed. Women are being told to stay with their husbands because being single is not good. As I recall the Bible says in Genesis, God Said” it is not good for a man to be alone”. Have you noticed that when a women frees herself from a relationship that doesn’t allow her to grow once she lands back on her feet she glows.

There are smart, talent, educated women having to hold themselves back, so they don’t take the spot light off of their man. Look at the case of Ike and Tina Turner, and who turned out to be the winner?
Women are leaving marriages that they have been for 10, 20, 30 plus years, why, because they weren’t allowed to flourish they were stuck under the titles of wife, mother, cook, car pooler, problem solvers, and their worth and contribution never equals that of a man who goes out and slay the bacon because he is doing what a man is supposed to do.
I wonder why so much aggression toward women? Women beaten down with such disgraceful labels, and women in Hollywood are baring it all and engaging in cat fights in order to stay on top. Women are used in videos not for their talent, but like porn stars and freaks. There are plenty of women who are making the choice to be single because of their experiences and they don’t want to settle. Men are bachelors for years and they are celebrate as doing the right thing because they are avoiding ” gold diggers”.

I am going to stop here. I hope that I have gotten my point across. To the women who are fortunate to find a man who will respect and love you until death does it part, God bless you. For the women like me who have decided enough of useless relationships and choose to remain single, and be happy with life, good for you. To the men of this world I say, no women likes to be abused, conned, held back, lied to and strung along, and what goes around comes around. and when you find yourself in your old age looking for a caretaker, just remember in your youth all the chances you had to embrace love, but you wanted to be a player instead.

The choice is yours, the wait is over.

Thank you for stopping by dragthepen.

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Dear 2019

 

Dear Readers, 

There are millions of people who are very happy to see 2019 go. Welcoming a new year is always exciting due to the anticipation of starting fresh and leaving behind a year that might not have been the greatest. I begin 2019 with high hopes I made plans, plotted a path and set reasonable   goals. Along the way I often got side tracked. Remember when you hit me with pneumonia twice, but you made me understand that I wasn’t paying attention to my health. It seemed to me that each day I pushed forward you pushed me backwards. On the darkest days of this year I did my utmost best to remain positive. I smiled when I wanted to cry. I suppressed my screams of anger by singing, and squeezed my blue tattered stress ball when my emotions threatened to overwhelm me. Against all odds and with fierce determination I accomplished my goal of performing at Carnegie Hall after three previous attempts. I wasn’t going to allow the dreary, somber, evil forces of this universe to defeat me. 

Hey, 2019, I couldn’t understand why you seemed hell bent on putting obstacles in my way, the more I succeeded in my progress towards my goals, you appeared to be ignored at me. I thought that we were taking this journey together. I told you at the start of 2019, that I was over stumbling through life like the village idiot. I made amends for all the years that I wasted. I said to you with all the sincerity of my shattered life, that I would do better and be better because I have greater clarity. Where you testing me my faith, strength, and ability to remain grounded and focused on my goals? I walked with my head up through every storm, nor’easter, and heat wave. I worked on my days off, double shifts, even when I didn’t have the strength to put one foot in front of the other.  I willed myself forward by the power of my mental strength. 

I couldn’t believe that you ( 2019) wouldn’t allow me to catch a break. Ok, so I admit there were moments of short lived happiness. June 17, my performance at Carnegie Hall, my long awaited trip to California, and in August I finally had the time and resources to renew my passport. In  September my new website Conversations with J.R. Floyd went public. I completed my third manuscript that’s currently going through the editing process, the goals is to publish my third book in 2020. I secured my new living space and on Dec 16, I was able to move in two weeks before the original date. Oh, yeah, a few bonuses, I get to spend Christmas and New Year’s in my new apartment. Oh and did I mention that I finally have a landlord that allows me to have a pet. I adopted a cat named Hamlet. So, here I am in the middle of my queen size bed, Hamlet purring next to me, sipping hot chocolate while Nat Cole Christmas CD plays softly. 

Yes, 2019, we have had our tribulations and there were days when you made me question my sanity, but in the end all things considered I say I started this year the same way I chose to end it. I am going to continue setting realistic goals, map out a plan on how to make my goals and make my vision a reality. I resolve to pay attention to my health, sleep, rest, eat clean, drink plenty of water, and stay committed to making me and my vision a priority. With a heartfelt thank you I am grateful for all that 2019 has taught me. I welcome the next level of living my best life. Hello 2020.

Awareness & Clarity

Dear readers,

Recently I have been on a journey exploring who I am and what I want out of life. This period of deep reflection, discovery and renewal helped me to discover how I have allowed myself to be distracted by the standards of the world and how struggling to live up to the expectations of others lead me down a path of distraction.

Brand New Day

Happy Anniversary to me

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Dear Readers,
It’s the one year Anniversary of Conversations with J. R. Floyd. One year since I created this platform of having Conversations with you on my You Tube Channel and live on Facebook. It’s the people that support my efforts of making my vision a reality and for this I am deeply grateful.
I am celebrating life in a new way because life has not always been good. In 2013, I stated this journey of self-discovery, and I have learned so much about me and why I was headed down a road of darkness.
For a long time I didn’t think that my life was worth getting out of bed day after day. I didn’t feel any joy in the things that I was doing, and getting my education drained me. For years I worked two job in order to support myself. The biggest disappointment is that I did not acquire the career path I envisioned. At the time I did not understand that my life would take a different turn that would lead me to creating something more meaningful with my life.
After succumbing to a three year depression over my failed attempt of becoming a public school teacher, and struggling through a few disastrous relationships; In 2015 I hit rock bottom emotionally and financially I wanted life to end. But I keep pushing holding into the last bit of hope that someday my life would change. And change it did but change wasn’t without its own set of struggles.
It all started with a Valentine’s Day post that I do each year on Facebook. A friend of mine read the post and asked me did I have a blog, of course the answer was no. She introduced me to the world of WordPress, it took about three months before I got the hang of blogging. I went from blogging to drafting my first novel ” The Waiting Game” follow by a short short, ” A different flavor of Love”, This same friend introduced me to the world of self publishing . The journey has not been easy I have a lot to learn. The biggest lesson I have learned is that I am capable of doing more then what I expected of myself, the truth of the matter is that I was limiting myself.
Last year 2018, I created Conversations with J. R. Floyd, my You Tube channel out of frustration of a failed engagement. I had to stop myself because I wasn’t making progress and my quality of my life was ZERO. I relocated a great distance away from friends and family. I put completing my Masters in Education on hold. I took a three month leave of absence from teaching, and kept working three days at my second position as a residence counselor. I did not watch TV, checked my email twice a day ( Morning and Evening) I only posted what I needed on my Facebook page one a week, and asked my family and friends to respect my need for space and time out.
I found this amazing group of women on Instagram and joined a 90 day writing and journal challenge. No matter the daily obstacles I stuck to the plan. I ate clean, worked out as often as I could and started reading again. As I result of the 90 days in seclusion I completed my journal of 90 of self reflection, discovery and renewal, I have decided to publish this journal in hoped that people will read it and understand that they are not alone in their struggles. Conversations with J. R. Floyd is my new brand. I have found my notch.
Wow. What a difference a year makes. I still do not watch much TV, I like the reading and their is so much I have to learn about becoming a public speaker, in my new BIO I list myself as being a Singer, Blogger, Writer, Educator, and Motivational and Transformation Coach and Speaker. June 17, 2019, after three years of preparing I finally made it to Carnegie Hall to perform Robert Schumann’s Requiem with my classical chorus. This month July, I am traveling to California to tape my show Conversations with J. R. Floyd. My life has taken on a fresh new existence. I walk taller and I have a sense of clarity that I have never had.
I will always be true to my first love teaching, I never became a public school teacher, life had others plans for my talents. I teach English Literature and Grammar workshops to ESL students at a Community College. This past Winter ( Jan to June) I had the privilege to teach my first and I hope not my last High School Equivalency class to a group of amazing adults. My path in life is clear I am called to use my knowledge of the English language to inspire my students, develop my skills as a writer/blogger, while conquering the area of public speaking.
I am no longer trying to establish a career because I now know that I have to create my own opportunity. I know my Romeo is out there, but right now, I am not interested in interrupting my flow, I like my peace, my space to create, the new path that I am walking and the people’s lives that I am touching. When I wake up each morning I have purpose and the drive and energy to make my vision a reality. Happy Anniversary to me.
P.S. coming up soon my new website, my 90 days of Refection, Discovery and Renewal journal soon to be published, In the meantime, my first two novels ” The Waiting Game” & A Different Flavor of Love” are available on Amazon.
Thank you for reading, commenting, and watching my videos
J. R. Floyd a.k.a Dragthepen

The Road I’ve Traveled

 

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In 2016, I embarked on a journey to explore the world of creative writing and a funny thing happened I discovered that I have a knack for telling stories and blogging about life. So, here I am three years later, and my journey has been awesome to say the least. I have self-published two short novels, The Waiting Game, a memoir of my struggles with relationship myths and how believing these myths can be damaging to women’s self-esteem. A Different Flavor of Love, chronicles the journey of a young single mother search for true love. The best news is that I created a You Tube channel, Conversations with J. R. Floyd, dedicated to exploring relationships and the lack of moral values. This has been an amazing journey of up and downs, self-discovery and renewal. I have arrived at an awareness of talents that pushed me to take risks and step outside of certain limitations to understand that I am capable of so much more than settling for the status quo. So, here I am introducing myself to the world an unknown writer, blogger and talk show host. My mission is to take my readers and viewers on a journey of discovering life beyond borders. Each month I will share what’s new in the world of J. R. Floyd, offer some tidbits of knowledge and mention some good reads, healthy life style choices, and share with you my latest episode from Conversations with J. R. Floyd. In the meantime, I encourage you to purchase one of my books available on amazon. Until then, the wait is over the choice is yours. Let’s have a Conversation.

The Care is Self Care

Dear readers,   we are living in a society were self -care frowned upon the myth is that if you are taking time to care for self, than you are robbing your partner or children of you. So, little by little you give up the things  you enjoy. Take a look at my video and  get back to Doing you. Remember a happy partner is a happy relationship.

 

Independence Versus Dependence

Dear readers,

Independence or self sufficient, in my opinion, has too many “SELFS”, self – sufficiency, self  governed, self- rule, self-determined, and self-reliance. There are songs and poems written about being Independent. Just for a moment think about this, are we truly independent. The truth is we don’t think about how dependent we are on the air we breathe, the food we eat to sustains our bodies, the money we earn, and for love and compassion from our family and friends. Although these things are conceivably true, we live in a society that imparts individualism, the moral worth of the individual. However, Charles R. Swindoll, wrote that, we are truly not independent. When the wind of adversity blows hard against our soul. we cannot make it on our own. We were created for dependence, not independence. We need each other.

What say you?