The Joys of Parenthood

Dear Readers,                                          my son and my two granddaughters

 

This is just a matter of opinion and not intended to advise parents how to raise their children. Have you noticed that modern thinking parents no longer believe that it takes “ A village to raise a child”.  I am a baby boomer raised in the South by two parents who were very much disciplinarians. My father was a soldier and he believed in “ spoil the child, but use the rod” when necessary. My mother used a different approach when disciplining her children, she took away privileges, withheld allowance, and removed you from participating in important family events like birthday parties and BBQ’s. Above all my parents communicated with me and my siblings in a loving manner and only displayed displeasure by the frown on their face or the tone of disappointment in their voice. I have recently taken to observing the manner that modern parents verbalize displeasure towards their children and it is shocking. I have heard parents threatening their children how they would cause them physical harm for misbehaving. No, I am not talking about a minor spanking on the bottom, I have heard parents threatening to slap, kick, and punch their children.  And they do so by using the utmost foul language to describe their disapproval because their child is “ acting out”. Children will be l children, and what I see is parents who are getting younger and younger, and lack the patience, compassion, and the understanding that their world as an adult changed the moment they chose to bring a life into the world, and parenthood is a 100 percent 24 hour, 7 days a week, 356 days a year responsibility. Most young people become parents without a solid foundation, in other words, they are not emotionally, mentally, or financially prepared. They stumble through parenthood not grasping that true parenting means sacrifices, being opened to learning, and the understanding that being a parent means that life revolves around the needs of their children

Most young parents still feel the need to “ have a life” . Here’s some new information: your children are your life. Once you made the adult choice to bring forth life you do not get to choose which days you feel like being a parent. Your first allegiance as a parent is for the safety and welfare of your children. If nobody has told these young modern parents, let me have the pleasure to be the first to inform them that being a parent is a true gift, and children are the best part of our society, they remind us what’s important and they show adults that we are never to old to nurture the child that will always be in our spirit. Children encourage us to laugh, be silly, playful, and they give the best and sincere hugs. I don’t profess to be the world’s greatest parent. My one and only son ( who I called my one true love) was born into a world to a young unlearned and naive mother, and a father who misled me to believe that I was the love of his life, and that we were going to be married and live happily ever after. Well, he abandoned us when my son was 10 months old. I failed as a young parent because I lacked adult guidance and a support system. My mother was disgusted with me for getting “ knocked up”, my father did the best he could, but he was aging and illness took over his life. Every other adult in my life was dealing with their own chaos. I had to work to support me and my son,  and I never truly understood how to bond with him. He paid the price for being born to young parents. Today, he is a proud father of three, and he often tells me that he will never leave his children, and I know this is because of the manner that he was raised, by a strict grandmother, and absentee parents. 

 

my son

I am grateful today that my son, my one true love, has taught me a sincere lesson of unconditional forgiveness,  and at the age of 39, he allows me to be the mother that I always wanted to be, but didn’t know how. It’s like I said, children can teach us lessons, my son taught me that it’s not what happened, but what we will do now. I hope that many people will read this and tuck their children in tonight and let them know that they are loved. 

 

Thank you for stopping by dragthepen

Untitled Stroy.

 

Single-Mothers2

Dear readers,

I am pitching my next idea for a short story contest. Please take a few minutes and read my outline, I will appreciated your comments.

I do not have a title.

Desiree, is 15 when the story begins, the conflict happens when she is 42, which is near the end of the story. A single mother raises Desiree; she has three children by different men. Through a series of tribulations, Desiree tries to overcome following her mother’s example. At sixteen, Desiree gets pregnant by Wallace Evans, he has big plans for his life that do not include a baby’s mother who wants to be a kept women. Wallace leaves her, joins the Army, gets married and moves away, but he financially supports his son Peyton. In the meantime, Desiree continues to live in the project and has a series of hit and run relationships. She gives birth to two more children and in the process liberates herself from living on Public Assistance, by working a part-time job and child support.

Desiree is insecure and she fails in her mission to try to keep a man and establish the family structure she never had. She continues to make the wrong choices when selecting men because she confuses sex with being in love.  She struggles with being a good and providing for her children.  In comes Leslie Lambert, age 55, a wealthy Lawyer, she is white, a lesbian, has no children and never been married. She is attracted to Desiree; however, Desiree is only attracted to the life that Leslie can give her children, so she plays both sides of the fence, until Leslie asks her to make a choice.

Desiree is torn between giving her children the life they deserve, and giving up having a relationship a man.  The other obstacle in the way is her oldest son Peyton he is not comfortable with their living arrangements. The turning point comes when Peyton runs away to live with his father. Desiree stops fighting and finally come to terms with the fact that Leslie is offering her more than any man has…..

Story takes place in Brooklyn, New York location the Marlboro Housing Projects

Time: early 80’s

Main character: Desiree Hancock

Supporting Characters:

Olivia Hancock (Desiree’s mother)

Patrick Lopez (Desiree’s alleged father/ low-level gang banger)

Baron Jackson (Another one of Olivia’s baby’s daddy/ younger than her and unemployed)

Wallace Evans (Desiree’s 1st baby’s daddy)

Sophia Evans (Desiree’s best friend and sister to Wallace)

Ms. Evans (mother of Sophia and Wallace)

What Say You?

 

 

William F. B. O’Reilly Supports ‘Baltimore Mom’s Actions’

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In response to Wiiliam F.B. O’Reilly’s April 30, 2015 column, ‘Baltimore Mom’, published in AMNewYork, tells a distressing story. I can honestly say that I am taken aback by Mr. O’Reilly’s opinion and observation of the actions of Florence Thompson, the mother who was trying to, in Mr. O’Reillys words, “forcefully herd her teenage son from the riots in Baltimore.”

It’s been the practice of society to look down on single mothers, like Ms. Thompson, who are unfairly judged and labeled ‘Welfare Queens’ and ‘Gold Diggers’ or ‘Losers.’ After reading Mr. O’Reillys comments of compassion and support for single mothers, I breathed a sigh of relief. Finally, someone in this harsh and unsympathic world sees single mothers for who they are, which is overburdened, overlooked, underpaid and underappreciated. Mothers like Ms. Thompson fight against stereotypes heaped on them by a society that would prefer to forget single mothers simply because those who sit in judgment feel that they are not productive members of society.

It’s my hope that Ms. Thompson’s action will be remembered and understood for what it is, a mothers love. On behalf of all those single mothers crying out in the wilderness, I say, keep crying and holding on someone will hear you because it certainly seems that Mr. O’Reilly did.

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