Sisters who date outside their race

Dear Readers,

Sisters inspiring sisters

I knew as soon as I posted on my Facebook page about sisters who date outside their race that I was opening the doors for a wave of negative comments. Let me be clear that I am including all the sisters of the rainbow. I am speaking out because I am tired of sister’s being harassed by a society standing in judgment as to why sisters are “selling themselves out” by seeking men outside of their race.

First, should race be a deciding factor when a women is seeking love, devotion, monogamy, compassion, respect, and equality in a relationship? I say no, however, the naysayers are unwilling to own up to the truth about why sisters are seeking companionship with males who are not ” brothers.” Here is the bottom line strong sisters of substance are fighting against the mindset of the double standard. Sisters are toiling and making sacrifices while suffering under the negative feedback from an unforgiven society constantly bombarding them with messages of being ” barefoot and pregnant”. Another point I would like to clarify when I say women of substance, I am not referring to the media seeking, gold diggers seeking a sugar daddy or who stalk celebrities, professional athletes, and rappers by sexualizing themselves to gain wealth and social status. I am speaking in support of sisters who have a vision for their lives and grinded while staying grounded and live by good moral values to established a foundation for themselves.

Sisters are done with being beaten down with the images and messages of the stereotypical gender roles associated with being female.There are sisters who are Judges, Lawyers, Doctor, Politicians, CEOs, Scientists, Professional Athletes, Entertainers, Business owners, and high ranting Military Official, who are seeking partners of equal status within their own race, however, they are not finding the quality they desire in a mate among brothers. The voices of society encourage sisters to settle and lower their standards and expectations. NewFlash!!! Sisters are no longer willing to settle. So, why not step out and seek men from other cultural background?

People pretend that they don’t hear sisters telling their stories of being weary of the lack of love and respect from brothers. The other side of this story, is when a brothers voice his displeasure about sisters who ruin relationships because they won’t ” submit” he receives valadation. The main reasons why sisters are stepping outside of their race it’s due to the deplorable treatment by brothers. Let the truth be told sisters desire the joys of celebrating black love or love within their own culture. I will be the first to confess that their is nothing better when black love endures. It’s unfortunate that no one is paying attention to the shift that is happening women no longer desire to play the traditional roles and they are excelling in areas of life where women have been held back for years. At the end of the day, women desire that special partner to stand with them and celebrate their success. Sisters are exhausted by brothers who hold them back and drained them with their foolish behavior, lack of maturity, and responsible. Sisters no longer want baby daddies, or men who are undecided about marriage, and unsupportive of putting them out front to follow their vision, sisters are done with wasting time waiting for a brother to get some act right and get his life in order.

I often reflect on how much time, energy, money and emotions I wasted on brothers who treated me as something to do for that moment. But I hold no grudges, at the time I didn’t have a clear direction for my life, so I was just going along with the program. However, when the light bulb went off and I began to understand why I wasn’t successful and happy as I desire to be. I discovered it was the quality of the brothers I was entertaining. They did not see me as the college graduate, writer, speakers, media influencer, but I did. I changed the path of my life and that meant the quality of my intimate relationships had to match the progress of my life. However, when sister’s like me think in this manner we are told that it’s wrong because sisters are abandoning brothers and we are not being true to our race

I would just like to end with this. It was a black man who abandoned me when I was a teenage mother. It was a black man that emotionally and mentally abused me and my only escape was through domestic organizations. It wasn’t a black man who stood in support of me while I was working three part time jobs and earning a college education, they were too busy being self center. And I can go on and on but I think you get the point. I have been single by choice for four years, and I don’t desire to be alone and if a non brother shows interest I am all in.

Thank you for stopping by dragthepen

All is fair in Love and Rent

Dear readers,

Do you remember this, Hi I’m Robin Leach, and this is the life style of the rich and famous? The 80’s TV Series that show cased the opulence of the wealthy. I was young and captivated by the designer clothes and the bling.

Then I grow up, worked my way through college while struggling to keep a roof over my head. I consider myself to be lucky to have found affordable housing in a decent neighborhood. This bring me to my point, recently in New York City there is a boom of erecting Luxury buildings, taking place throughout the five boroughs. Some people are calling this re-gentrification by the middle class or the work of a conglomerate of secret rich investors, pushing lower- income people out. With each Mayoral election, the promise is made to create jobs, and to build more affordable housing. But, when these promise makers are voted into office, the only progress that is made is for the well to do.

Schools are closed in so called poor performing districts only to be rebuilt into private schools. Mom and Pop shops are forced out replaced with pricier gourmet food stores, and cafes that sell $5.00 coffee and $3.00 bagels. When the neighborhood change, so do the people, and those who don’t fit in meaning, people who don’t meet the income requirements, social status, and in some cases belonging to the right ethnic group, are left out.

The buildings are getting taller with great amenities and concierge service. While the other half lives in dangerous, rodent infested, deteriorating buildings owned by slum lords, who change high rents to invest in the building of luxury apartment complex to carter to the life style of the rich and famous.

 WAY TO GO NEW YORK. THIS IS MY STORY.

What say you?

 

 

 

All is fair in Love and Rent

Dear readers,

Do you remember this, Hi I’m Robin Leach, and this is the life style of the rich and famous? The 80’s TV Series that show cased the opulence of the wealthy. I was young and captivated by the designer clothes and the bling.

Then I grow up, worked my way through college while struggling to keep a roof over my head. I consider myself to be lucky to have found affordable housing in a decent neighborhood. This bring me to my point, recently in New York City there is a boom of erecting Luxury buildings, taking place throughout the five boroughs. Some people are calling this re-gentrification by the middle class or the work of a conglomerate of secret rich investors, pushing lower- income people out. With each Mayoral election, the promise is made to create jobs, and to build more affordable housing. But, when these promise makers are voted into office, the only progress that is made is for the well to do.

Schools are closed in so called poor performing districts only to be rebuilt into private schools. Mom and Pop shops are forced out replaced with pricier gourmet food stores, and cafes that sell $5.00 coffee and $3.00 bagels. When the neighborhood change, so do the people, and those who don’t fit in meaning, people who don’t meet the income requirements, social status, and in some cases belonging to the right ethnic group, are left out.

The buildings are getting taller with great amenities and concierge service. While the other half lives in dangerous, rodent infested, deteriorating buildings owned by slum lords, who change high rents to invest in the building of luxury apartment complex to carter to the life style of the rich and famous.

 WAY TO GO NEW YORK. THIS IS MY STORY.

What say you?

 

 

 

Greeting from the Mad Dater

Somebody said, ” The sweeter the berry , the sweeter the juice,” As time went on this saying changed to ” The blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice,” making reference to dark skin sisters. There is another saying, ” once you go black , you never go back.” None of these sayings hold true for today’s men of color because more and more of them are showing a preference for lighter skin sisters, white or Asian  women.

People of color have fought for hundreds of years against the stigma that having darker skin, meant that we are ugly and undesirable; and that we are tinted due to our skin color. What’s especially painful, is the psychological damage to dark skin women, when they are continuously passed over for women of lighter complexion. Some people say it’s a personal preference, I say its bias. Others say it’s about social status. Whatever the reason for one person choosing another based solely on skin color………….. What Say You?