What’s Important Now

Dear bloggers,  it’s been about one week since New York City has been slowly shutting down due to the Corona-virus. No matter what state you live in, today, I want to encourage you to remember this too shall pass. I invite you to think about the word WIN, What’s Important Now. Right where you are, think about what’s important now. Since this lock down has been set in place, people have been in a hurry to get back to “ normal” .  I hear people talk about feelings of fear, panic, chaos, depression, anger and confusion considering the circumstances these are all legitimate emotions. 


Question, how are you fueling these emotions? Are you a news hoarder?  It’s okay to check in for an update, but it is your Television, Cell phone, I pad, and Radio on 24 hours, so that your mind  is being bombarded with News. Yes, the fear about money, bills, rent, mortgage, car payments and so on are real. How is worry and panic going to solve your troubles? Try to avoid adding more stress and tension in your home during this period of being shut in. 


I suggest you try to focus on What’s Important Now. 


Focus on remaining as calm as you can. It’s important to maintain structure, make plans for how you’re going to spend the days, weeks maybe months. It’s okay to go out as a family for walks, exercise is important to maintain strength, eat well, avoid loading up on junk foods. Keep a regular sleep schedule. Use this time for self reflection individually and as a family. Maybe now is the time to create a new future for your family, or are you willing to go back to life as you call “ normal” . This crisis will change us as people and as a nation.  Are you going to come out of this crisis with a greater appreciation for family, God, your house of worship, place of employment, health, and home. Or better awareness about What’s Important Now? Will your bond with the people who matter most  be stronger? 


 I am thankful that I have a roommate and I am not alone. I am thankful to be able to work from home, and earn a paycheck.  I am thankful for my live Facebook chats to share words of empowerment. I am grateful I can talk to a community of bloggers. I have my life, my health, my family and friends are protected. This is What’s Important Now. 


My thoughts and prayers, are with the world.


The Mission

Dear readers, This post is longer than my usual  250-300 words.  Let me refresh your memory.  If you’ve been following  my blog or watch my videos I’ve been taking about relationships and the ending of my 90 day engagement. Now, hold on before you get teary eye and start mourning  my lose. It was good that I got out when I did. I refused to remain in a relationship that does not value me. So, I decided to go on a 90 day journey to refocus my life, and get healthy mentally and physically.  when the journal is completed I will publish it. My mission is to help people understand that starting over, is not the end of having a good life, go through the process of learning how to not just move on, but to create a new life while working through their pain.  One suggest, please stay away from people who want to help you throw a pity party. This is not about being a victim. This new life is about thriving.

Day 1, August 27, 2018. I did not go into this 90-day plan thinking that the storm was over just because mt relationship ended, and the universe would cut me some slack. Ha! I arrived at work fresh and ready to get back into my groove. Not a chance I was met with this memo: short version the department has decided to cut my hours. I had an immediate melt down in front of everyone. Long story short after spending most of the workday going from one office to the next, another department was more than happy to restore my hours. Instead of me taking a step back and breath I ate a muffin. Oh well. Tomorrow is Gym Day…. 8:30 P.M. the day is done and all I want to do was make it home. Upon leaving I discovered that a long-time co-worker and friend had retired and soon after died.  Again, for the second time tears flowed. I knew this person for 15 years, he was kind, funny, had a great smile, and could tell funny jokes. I boarded the train and could not wait to get home and bury my face in my pillow and cry. 89 days to go.

Day 2, August 28, 8:15 A.M. I left the house early; I walked the 10 blocks to the train station I need to lose the extra flab. I looked at myself in the full-length mirror on my bathroom wall. I wish I could have ripped it off, not the fat the mirror. I felt disgusted I thought about all the time I wasted not going to the gym, so that I could spend time with HIM. Oops. This is what we do, after a break up; we look for every moment to revert to past memoirs. We want to blame the other person because of the pain, anger, rage; we want our feelings validated. The truth is that I could have found the time to go to the gym. I did not have  to eat the bread, muffins, and the delicious unhealthy fried foods. I lost my commitment to me; I lacked the discipline and drive to push myself. Being in a relationship does not give anyone permission to slack. So, each day until the weather turns cold.  I will walk the 10-12 blocks every time I have to ride the train.

Day 3, August 29, Day off, I slept late and wanted to stay in bed, it would be easy to stay in bed, closed up in my room. No, I will not allow the ghost of depression to take my soul hostage. I could use the weather as an excuse it is 94 degrees. I put on a skimpy dress, put my hair up, got a bottle of water, and took a slow walk to the train station. Dunkin Donuts was my savior, ice coffee never tasted so good. I set out to visit May, my former hair stylist. I found her book an appointment. Now, what do I do with the rest of my day. I took the bus to 125th street, I hopped from store to store soaking up the air condition. Brought some much-needed hair products, two pairs of slacks and eat some healthy fast food, and headed home. On the walk back from the train station I give in two stops from home I took the bus. I had enough of punishing in the heat for being lazy and gaining weight.

P.S. I have not begun the search for a therapist.

Day 4, August 30, today was the best day of the week. I am slowly making peace with the distance I travel to work and church. Good news, I am moving to a bigger space within the house this means I can some of my personal belongings out of storage. I cannot wait to sit at my desk and get my groove back. I sent HIM the letter that I had prepared a month ago before the breakup. It does not matter whether he reads it, or if he reads the letter and ignores the content, what is important to me is that I addressed the elephant in the room. The truth is that I emotionally checked out the moment he told me that I had to choose between advancing my teaching career by wanting to teach overseas and being his wife. It was only a matter time.

So tell me how am I doing thus far?