Don’t Be Afraid

When people see me, they usually remark ” girl you got it together and living your best life.” While I am thankful for the compliments, however sometimes what appears on the outside usually isn’t a representation of what’s going on behind the scenes. The truth is I struggle every day to put one foot in front of the other. I am a believer in Christ, but this doesn’t mean that I don’t struggle with everyday challenges, and I cry when no one is looking. I struggle with loneliness and the burden of having to do everything, but I am thankful that I can take care of myself. 

I struggle to find balance between self-care and being all that I can be for others. I struggle to keep my mind from going to the dark side. I preach about Self Care, but I fight against the things in life that overwhelmed me. I battle with mental health issues and my faith. And there is the ongoing conflict with my emotions and the conversation in my head. 

 When I look in the mirror, I see an old person looking back and I think “wow. You’ve let yourself go”. I try to encourage me by saying ” girl you’re doing the best you can with what you have.” The truth is I am blessed beyond my wildest dreams. I have been given chances to reinvent myself countless times. It’s taken me a lifetime to understand that my peace is more important than being in dysfunctional relationships and friendships. And that self-respect and self-worth is more valuable internal conversation to have to fight against the voices that say, I am not good enough.

To the people who say to me that I am living my best life, I say, yes, I am. My spiritual life is renewed and strong. I enjoy life in all its beauty and abundance. I learned to enjoy the good days and take lessons from the bad ones. I understand that life doesn’t always give me what I want but it gives me what I need and for that I am thankful. 

Thank you for stopping by Dragthepen

The Little Things are the Best.

Dear Readers, the little things may not be so little after all. Let me explain. 

Yesterday, Saturday, March 18, 2023, was the first time in 9 months that I was able to have some downtime and peace. The turbulence started in May of last year. I adopted a three-week-old puppy and in July changed careers at the age of 58, in addition to taking courses online. You know the saying that “change is good.” However, I experienced three different shifts at the same time and it’s been a real struggle. Looking back, I realized that I was not ready to take on a puppy, new position, while attending college.

Fast Forward…… Here I am 9 months later, Peanut my Rat terrier, broke his leg that cost $$$$$$, he has healed. I was in my new position as a case manager for transitional housing and within the first 4 months I was promoted to a supervisory position, yet another change. I can’t begin to explain the drudgery of coming home after a full day’s work to take care of a fur baby and college assignments this schedule has left me physically, emotionally, and mentally drained. 

I have been running on empty so to speak sometimes 7 days a week. Gone are the glory days of sleeping late and enjoying coffee in bed. My schedule revolves around my little buddy Peanut and school assignments. I felt like I was becoming unglued if you know what I mean. After talking to other dog owners, they suggested doggie day care. I searched and searched but none fit my schedule until I came across Rover.com. I found a dog sitter close to my house (11 minutes away). Saturday was his first day. He was picked up at 9am and dropped off at 5pm. 

I had an entire 8 hours to myself. I enjoyed a good breakfast, quickly vacuumed the house and took a two-hour nap, then enjoyed another meal. Peanut returned home to a rested fur mommy and a clean house, in addition to his favorite food meatballs and spaghetti. We will continue the personalized dog sitting service for at least two days during the week. We both could use a break from each other, and Peanut is being socialized with other dogs. The best part of is that I have found a solution to have alone time and at the same time giving Peanut what he needs. It is the little things that add quality to our lives. Things like, 

1. Sleeping late

2. Taking a nap

3. Eating a delicious meal undisputed

4. Quiet time

5. In my case enjoying coffee in bed

Think of the little things that matter in our life and find a way to include them in your life daily.

Living

 

Dear readers,

I am deeply humbled by the simplicity of this wonderful day. Each day I experience what it means to “live in the moment.”  Not worrying or planning for the next hour, day or week. Allowing myself to enjoy the moment of peace, pleasure, laughter, and even tears. It is in that moment that I feel peaceful, happy, and unburdened by the struggles of life.

Do not get lost in the dark, but be a light to others so that they may find their way through us. ~ Brenda Marshall

What Say you?