If These Walls Could Talk

Dear Readers, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and Happy Kwanzaa. 

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I was home alone making the best of Christmas day. I am single, and I usually travel to visit my mother or my grandchildren for the holidays. Due to the pandemic I choose to remain at home.  There were moments I felt lonely and angry because I am alone, so I decided not to wallow, I picked myself up and cooked my specialty baked ziti and popped a bottle of red wine. I thought  about how blessed I am to have a home, food, clothing, health, employment and that my family and friends are home safe and happy. While I settled down to enjoy my holiday meal a friend of mine Marc-Henri Jean shared with me how he felt about being home alone.   

In his words….

I love home, home is peace, home is warm, I love home, home is tender and sweet, home is beautiful, home is the quick charge of excitement in your beating heart, I love home I am home. 

I am home, did I mention, did I? Did I mention how atrocious it is to be home? Home alone, home is lonely. Feel the coldness running through your veins after waking and stepping on the frigid marble floors, home is dark. Home is fear, I am home.

I love home, home is being alone, but not lonely. Home is sometimes cold and warm, sometimes a bit too cold, sometimes a bit too warm, but sometimes home is just perfect. Home is sometimes a sweet release from the chaos of the world. Home is dark. Home is light. Home is fear and protection from the outside world. I am home.

I say….

To all the single people who find themselves home alone, don’t despair, be of good cheer, look around and count the blessings,and maybe this time next year we will resume sitting around our holiday table with the people that make a house a home. 

Thank you for stopping by DRAGTHEPEN

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Disconnected

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Dear Readers,

A strange occurrence took place a few days ago and it left me shock, bewildered, which lead me to deeply ponder about this advanced age of technology and how disconnected we are. It all started when I left my cell phone at my evening gig. I picked up an extra shift on Monday, October 14, Columbus day. In my haste to catch my train on time I left my cell phone and I refused to go back to retrieve it. I know that some people would rather be flogged than go without their cell phone, but I am not most people. This occurred on Monday and I didn’t retrieve my phone until Wednesday. I  do not have a back up phone and I was prefectly fine without it. I did not panic about missing calls, texts, Snapchat etc. I was confident that if my family couldn’t reach me they would simply called my business number. What did I do without my cell phone, what I always do nothing.
I am not one of those people who are joined at the hip with my cell phone. When I told people I went without my cell phone for 24 plus hours they looked at me in horror. One person declared that their life is inside of their phone and couldn’t image being without it. I said, my life is in my lungs and heart beat not in a mechanical device. I simply didn’t see the big deal. When I finally had the time to pick up my cell phone I was dreading all the calls, texts, voice mails etc.. that I would read and respond to. After charging my dead phone I was ready for all hell to break loose. I waited in vain. I had the sum of 1 text message and 1 voice mail. A part of me was relieved and the other part of me was confused. I thought what if I went another day without the means to communicate by cell phone would some become concern? Having so little calls and text messages what does this mean about the people who are in my contact list?

I though girl, stop being dramatic. No, I am not being a drama queen. What if I was injured, lost, kidnapped or worst deceased who would know? I had a sense of profound loneliness the feeling of being disconnected and unimportant. Today is Thursday, and my phone is still quiet. Does this mean that I reach out to people more than they do? I tried to convince myself, self your over reacting or am I? The bottom line is its not about not having my cell phone because there are other means people can contact me. Do I means so little to the people in my circle? I make it a habit to check on  family and friends at least one a week, by voice mail, text, or email. Its been a week since I sent my youngest sister a Thinking of you card, but she didn’t call to say if she received the card. I know in general people are busy, but do we use the excuse of being busy to the point its has lost its merit?
Should I wait until some one calls, text, email or Snapchat? When they do should I bore them with the saga of me beginning disconnect from what people refer to as a ” life line”? Or should I put the ordeal and my emotions aside and just say, “hello glad to hear from you, how’s life”.

What Say you?