Ladies are you making yourself too available?

Dear Readers,

 There are some omen who make themselves too available for men, and of course we know who benefits from this situation. I observe and personally acquainted with diverse women from various professions, earning power and education, who spend an increasing amount of hours  accommodating men. This post is in detail demonstrating a few areas where women are making mistakes  when dating or uncertain about their position in a situationship. One major problem with women who make themselves too available to men, they become a convenience instead of an equal partner in a loving, supportive long term relationship. One problem with this situation is that the women who ruin men by making themselves ready available, when these men move on it makes it difficult for other women who will not be at a mans beck and call.  

One  mistake some women make while dating is that they tend to perform wifely duties without the benefit of being a wife. For the sake of clarity a wife means a woman has walked down the aisle, taken vows before God and witnesses, and has been bonded with a man in holy matrimony. Not a wife in the sense that women are labeled a wife or in a common law situation. Women need to stop playing the role of a wife without the benefits, taking care of his laundry, cleaning his apartment, cooking, lending him money and your car, and  paying his bills. Ladies this is called playing house and being played. 

Many women are dating without a clear defined purpose or dating with the word desperation stamped across their foreheads; reeking with the scent of I’ll do anything just as long as you make me feel important, and that I am your one and only. Women who make themselves sexually available before establishing whether they are in a committed relationship. Ladies if your willingly give yourself over to a man physically, be ready to accept what’s coming, meaning expect to be asked for sexual favors often, and when you become weary of giving your body to a man who has not committed to you or sees you as his means to release his frustrations, you will  have yourself to blame. Why? Bottom line a man will take what is offered to him. 

 Here are a few ways women set themselves up for failure by answering late night texts, calls, and allow men to show up at their homes unexpectedly. Over time these bad habits become inconvenient to women, and beginning taken for granted. Women who rearrange or adjust their schedule to meet the needs of selfish men who take advantage of women with low self -esteem, because they don’t know their worth.Women became trapped in the bad habit of being a man’s savior by standing by his side even when he is wrong. Overtime women come to the realization that they are not honored or loved because of their good qualities, but because you’re the type of women men call EASY. You’ve made yourself too available and now  you don’t know how to break the spell.   

Thank you for stopping by dragthepen.

Disconnected

Dear Readers,

A strange occurrence took place a few days ago and it left me shock, bewildered, which lead me to deeply ponder about this advanced age of technology and how disconnected we are. It all started when I left my cell phone at my evening gig. I picked up an extra shift on Monday, October 14, Columbus day. In my haste to catch my train on time I left my cell phone and I refused to go back to retrieve it. I know that some people would rather be flogged than go without their cell phone, but I am not most people. This occurred on Monday and I didn’t retrieve my phone until Wednesday. I  do not have a back up phone and I was prefectly fine without it. I did not panic about missing calls, texts, Snapchat etc. I was confident that if my family couldn’t reach me they would simply called my business number. What did I do without my cell phone, what I always do nothing.
I am not one of those people who are joined at the hip with my cell phone. When I told people I went without my cell phone for 24 plus hours they looked at me in horror. One person declared that their life is inside of their phone and couldn’t image being without it. I said, my life is in my lungs and heart beat not in a mechanical device. I simply didn’t see the big deal. When I finally had the time to pick up my cell phone I was dreading all the calls, texts, voice mails etc.. that I would read and respond to. After charging my dead phone I was ready for all hell to break loose. I waited in vain. I had the sum of 1 text message and 1 voice mail. A part of me was relieved and the other part of me was confused. I thought what if I went another day without the means to communicate by cell phone would some become concern? Having so little calls and text messages what does this mean about the people who are in my contact list?

I though girl, stop being dramatic. No, I am not being a drama queen. What if I was injured, lost, kidnapped or worst deceased who would know? I had a sense of profound loneliness the feeling of being disconnected and unimportant. Today is Thursday, and my phone is still quiet. Does this mean that I reach out to people more than they do? I tried to convince myself, self your over reacting or am I? The bottom line is its not about not having my cell phone because there are other means people can contact me. Do I means so little to the people in my circle? I make it a habit to check on  family and friends at least one a week, by voice mail, text, or email. Its been a week since I sent my youngest sister a Thinking of you card, but she didn’t call to say if she received the card. I know in general people are busy, but do we use the excuse of being busy to the point its has lost its merit?
Should I wait until some one calls, text, email or Snapchat? When they do should I bore them with the saga of me beginning disconnect from what people refer to as a ” life line”? Or should I put the ordeal and my emotions aside and just say, “hello glad to hear from you, how’s life”.

What Say you?

Can You Hear Me Now?

Can_You_Hear_Me_Now

Dear readers,

I received your text, email and Facebook message, but what I did not hear was your voice. I’m okay with the advancement in technology, in the words of my partner, “people have to keep up with modern technology, or be left behind,” he said this, when he shut off my landline, and brought me my first mobile phone four years ago. I was also, okay with not being a slave to this little compact communication device.

Before texting, people actually “reached out and touched someone,” by calling; and they were conscious of how they used their phones due to the high cost. Now, many phone carriers encourage customers to text and talk with low-cost unlimited plans. People are busy looking down playing games, reading, texting, searching, googling, and video chatting. Yes, now we can see the person we are talking to because they have an app for that.

What Say You?

A Hand shake or a Hug?

Dear readers,

It’s shameful that we live in a society where physical contact such as, a handshake or a meaningful hug is fading. Nowadays, people are formal and considered not to offend anyone least they cry sexual harassment. When I was growing up, my teachers hugged me when I was feeling sad, for performing well in school, before leaving on summer break, and to welcome me back to a new school year.

Now, assumptions are when teachers are observed hugging their students; or if two men hug, instead of shaking hands. Young ladies are warned not to get too close to a man when hugging him; and that men should wait until a women offers her hand before he extend his hand for a handshake.

There are guide lines for handshakes, for example, a firm handshake is significant, or if a person doesn’t extend  their hand, this is considered an offensive gesture. In some cultures fathers don’t hug their sons. Mature children push away their parents when they attempt to hug them. Elderly people don’t receive as many hugs as they should.

Hugs between intimate couples have become routine and lack true emotional value. Some people hug their pets with more tenderness than they do humans. We are getting further away from staying connected physically because we over look the small important gestures like, holding hands, hugs, or a smile. Yet, we will text or email an emoji  to express how we feel.

4T9oGrkLc

 

What Say You?