It’s been a long time since I’ve talked about a relationship topic. The world has been turned upside down by this pandemic, and people have more pressing issues to think about then relationships. I’ve heard people talk about the challenges they faced during the first half of the pandemic when we were ordered to be sheltered in place.
Now that some restrictions have been lifted I guess people are beginning to venture out and start to date again. In my case I’ve been dateless for two years, partly by choice and also because I am on a journey of healing and self discovery, but I know I can’t hide forever.
What do men and women like me do when they fear going back out into the hopeless society of dating. My first book entitled The Waiting Game is inspired by my tragic relationships and my misconception that everyone in the dating game is looking for the real deal.
It took a lot for me to admit to myself and to confess to you that I don’t want to be alone, don’t get my message wrong, I am comfortable with my own company, and I will continue to discover more of who I am and what I need and don’t need from an intimate relationship. The bottom line for me is that I am afraid of being played again, and having to start over getting to know someone new and thinking about who to truth.
In the past I realized I moved to fast in the relationships that turned out to be messy situationships. not only did I move too fast, but I allowed myself to be pushed in directions that I felt uncomfortable with. Is it just me or my thinking that men are not interested in being patient and taking things slow. They want to know right away what’s in it for them in other words they are not wasting their time if they are getting their needs met.
I am 57 years old and it’s been my experience that men my age want younger women. You know the type of OG’s who are looking to relieve their youth. Or the men I use to meet who are only interested in netflix and chill nights at home. Now that the coronavirus is here this adds another hindrance, so now I don’t dare think about venturing out into the dating scene.
Listen, I am not asking for prince charming to come alone and sweep me off my feet, that fantasy sailed a long time ago. It’s simple: where are the honest men who haven’t been tinted by gold diggers, cheating women, or been broken and beaten by too many bad relationships, not on the DL, know who they are what they want, and are emotionally stable and want to be in a relationship for the right reasons. Where are the men who appreciate women like me who go out every day to earn an honest living, have a plan for the future, good family and friend relationships, and live by a moral code of good ethics and values.
Where are the men who desire to be in a monogamous relationship without the urge to have side pieces. Where are the men who dare to go the distance in a long term partnership regardless of the ditches and valleys. Where are the men who are willing to accept me for who I am the way I am and not reject me based on what I don’t have.
Where are the men who don’t believe in being community property by sleeping around and collecting baby mamas. Where are the men who understand their responsibility and accountability when they make the decision to enter into a relationship they claim they want. It’s simple, just be honest with yourself first, I don’t want to be played or layed. I desire to be respected, except, loved, protected, supported and understanding for my life vision and open communication. I want honesty, romance, creativity, someone with a strong family bond, confidence, intelligence, sense of humor, good hygiene and healthy eating habits, belief in God, and someone who believes in friendship is the foundation of any relationship.
I don’t know where these men are but if they are out there somebody let them know that women like me are waiting for them.