Tagged: truth

The Relationship Talk

You said “I’m running away,” but when I look down my feet are firmly planted on the ground.

You said, “I’m not willing to give in and let myself go.”

So, I said, “self-let’s think about this running away, giving in and letting go.” I’ve spent many days and nights pondering silently and sometimes speaking aloud about this “running away, giving in and letting go.” And I’ve come to concluded; what I am running away from the old stale, complacent, routine of a “RELATIONSHIP,” and the lack of romance, no not sexual intercourse, but good ole fashion remember the flowers, a love note or card, holding hands and a gift on date night just because.

I’m running away from being suffocated by a partner who continually whimpering about the lack of attention, which translates into not enough sex. Running from the idea that I owe wifely duties without the ring. Running away from not being supported, respected, valued and permitted space to grow as an individual.  Running away from the proposed thinking that we are one, Yep, when I think about it, I am running……..

Part 2, the unwillingness to give in. I do not quit comprehend what is meant by the term “give in.” Repeatedly in my mind I said “give in; give in” until the meaning became clear, don’t you mean, “Give up?”  Give up my time, passion and aspirations for the well-being of the “RELATIONSHIP” because there is no longer me, I, or self, but we, us and ours.

Finally, “letting myself go.” Hmmmmm…Go where and why? Do you mean immersing myself into the abyss of the “RELATIONSHIP” so deep that I forget who I am, and what I want out of this life, my life? Do you see where I am going with this?  I am running away, unwilling to give in and not letting go because…………..maybe you don’t need to know why?

This is what you should know. I would run towards and hold onto a man who truly understands and illustrates the qualities of what it means to be committed “PARTNERSHIP.” I am willing to give into and let myself go to walk on the wild side, with a man who accepts me as I am and sees’ the value of having me as their life partner.

I would like to feel secure and cared for by a man who is supportive of my career goals, ministry, and love for pets, romance and quite time. I am not willing to run to or give into and let myself go for a temporary lay or for Mr. Right now. I am willing to take a chance on always and forever.

What Say You?

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Reality Check

Dear readers,

Lately, I’ve called attention to people’s mannerism or lack thereof, and the words that we use or have taken out of our vocabulary. My parents raised me and my siblings to see the good in people, to share, be kind, and if we didn’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.  I know that their instructions were given with love and for intention, to see their children mature into caring adults. However, they were raised during an era when people had different values, and family and community was a very important part of everyday life.

Fast-forward………. Today most people don’t think in terms of what’s good for their community or family. It is difficult for me to come to terms with the truth that are “Self-thinking.” And that Self-centered people don’t have any sentiments about the impact that their negative, selfish, and arrogance have on others. Recently, my blinders were unkindly ripped from my eye, to my astonishment I’ve been living in denial. Let the truth be told, people have become cold and malicious, I regret that there is no “Nice” way to say this. I’ve spent too much time making excuses for people who aren’t “good.” I’ve gave freely of my time to people who didn’t deserve it.  My time would have been better spent volunteering at an animal shelter. First, for my love of cats and dogs, second, they are deserving of the love and the time I give to them.

Now, the last part of my parent advice, “say something nice” I’m happy that I no longer exist in denial, and that the blinders are off, it never too late to learn. I intend to be on my guard, I will ask questions, no longer will I give freely of my time, and finally, everyone who smiles or calls me friend don’t necessarily have good intentions.

What say you.

Family Ties

Dear readers,

It’s easy to become routine about the things we say we are grateful for like, life, good health shelter, and our daily bread. On Sunday, March 26, 2017, the day after my birthday, while having dinner with my sisters I was reflecting on the importance of staying connected to family. Sometimes when we feel that life is empty because we lack an intimate or should I say romantic relationship, however, this may not be the whole truth. Examine closely the time spent away from family, this might be the connection that your heart is yearning for. Family should never be taken for granted, Because at the close of the day all we have is God and Family.

What Say You?

The Conversation

Dear readers, Sixteen days into the new year. Question how is those RESOLUTIONS working for you?

Well, if you haven’t read my post the Bucket list versus Resolutions, I’ve come across a list of 20 Questions by  author Martha  Nibley Beck,   an American sociologist, life coach, best-selling author, and speaker who specializes in helping individuals and groups achieve personal and professional goals.

Maybe its time to stop looking at that list of New Years Resolutions and have a serious conversation with yourself. Its Martha Beck’s theory  that these 20 question will help you to find the answers to some of life’s dilemmas by asking  the right questions.

  1. What questions should I be asking myself?
  2. Is this what I want to be doing?
  3. Why worry?
  4. Why do I like ________ more than I like _____?
  5. How do I want the world to be different because I lived  in it?
  6. How do I want to be different because I live in the world?
  7. Are vegans better people?
  8. What is my body telling me?
  9. How much junk could a chic chick if a chic chick could chuck junk?
  10. What’s so funny?
  11. Where am I wrong?
  12. What potential memories am I bartering, and is the profit worth the price?
  13. Am I the only one struggling not to ____?
  14. What do I love to practice?
  15. Where could I work less and achieve more?
  16. How can I keep myself absolutely safe?
  17. Where should I break the rules?
  18. So say I lived in that fabulous house in Tuscany, with untold wealth, a gorgeous , adoring mate, and a full staff of servants…then what?
  19. Are my thoughts hurting or healing?
  20. Really truly: Is this what I want to be doing?

What Say you?

HEARSAY

Truth Lies Buttons Shows Honest Or Dishonesty

Dear readers,

They Say, “Confession is good for the soul.”

Others say, “Speaking truth is our moral duty.”

I say, most people have been in a situation when being honest turned into bending the truth. I’m not a supporter of people who tell bold-faced lies, there is no excuse for lying. When I speak about bending the truth I mean trying to spare a person pain. But is hiding information from an individual in their best interest not to know the truth, despite the discomfort that reality will caused them.

Wasn’t there a game show in the 70’s or 80’s called “Truth or Consequence?”

When we are sworn into a court of law, we swear to “tell the truth and nothing but the truth.” Parents teach their children to be honest, no matter what the situation, they must tell the truth. While in the process of development a relationship whether imitate or a friendship, we hold others to be trustworthy. Yet, in many of these scenarios there may be a breach of trust because the truth is hidden behind little while lies.

What say you?

I challenge you to speak the truth

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Notes from the mad dater: the saga continues

History, before I continue on,  a brief overview of my past might be beneficial, so to keep a long story short; its been four years since  my last relationship, that lasted 18 months. Prior to that I spent six blissful years with Mr. Wonderful.  I should note that I did met either of my latest beaus through an online dating service.

Anyway, On my journey to find a life partner, one of my closest friends heard through the gossip grape-vine,that I am in search of a serious long-term relationship. She felt the need to lend her support by giving me a copy of an New York Times article dated, Jan 9, 2015, titled, Quiz: The 36 questions that lead to love” by Daniel Jones. My first thought was, What the Hell? Here’s short version: These 36 questions are meant to probe deep into the mind of a prospective love interest. The purpose is to open the heart and mind to accept love and honesty.

Okay, I read through the questions, my second thought was, not bad,however, the quiz takes 90 minutes, that’s the suggested time limited. The creators of these questions is a brilliant group of psychologist who suggest that these questions will eliminate small talk, and will disclose openness and truth.

Wow! so, now the task is for me to find participants who are willing to sit for 90 minutes to ask and answer questions. That’s going to be one helluva 1st date.

If your curious  about the 36 questions and I know you are, go to: htt://nyti.ms/BWQijj (the 36 questions that lead to love)

What Say you?

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