The Day Will Come

 

Hello, hello, hello, dear readers happy reflection day.

On March 10, myself and thousands of Cuny and Suny employees were told not to report to work. We were put on alert that the entire teaching system will be converted to remote learning. We were given three days to  make the adjustment. During this transition period it was discovered that a large number of students did not have a home computer or the internet.Then bars, restaurants, hair and nail salons closed. Coffee shops, cafes, and any place that people gathered that created a crowd closed. Then we were ordered to shelter at home. I am an introvert, so being confined has not created a mental hardship for me. Because of this crisis people are realizing that we are not conditioned to be isolated, and this situation has created a devastating emotional effect on people. 

To date it’s been 6 or 7 weeks since we’ve been sheltered in place. In an effort to encourage people I’ve appeared each Monday live to discuss several topics that I hoped would give people hope and courage to work through this crisis.  

Week 1: I encourage people to come together in unity,  unity means strength.

Week 2: Reflect on W. I. N..what’s important now

Week 3: How to create and experience peace during a crisis

Week 4: Self- care the importance of taking care of self and family during a crisis

Week 5: How to use this time to create or recreate a new life plan

Week 6: Getting prepared for change. Wanting to go back to normal. Time to move forward

On Monday May 4. I will make my last live appearance on Facebook. On that day I will acknowledge the struggles people are facing the anxiety, uncertainty, and the battles people are facing in their homes, due to the mental and emotional damage this crisis had caused. People are concerned about their future and no one can give them solid answers.  I tried to warn people about the harm they are causing themselves by constantly talking about corona-virus and watching the news. I personally keep a distance from any news or people who are obsessed with having conversations about going back to normal. 

Today, I am here to pray with you, and for you. Yes, prayer. I am not asking people to believe in God. I am simply going to pray. On May 15, it will make 60 days ( 3 months ) since we have been asked to shelter in place. The plan in New York City is to open some business and wait two weeks to observe if the number of corona-virus cases increases or stays the same. Depending on the results the government will proceed to open more business in two week increments. There are a large number of people who are in a rush to get back to normal. I wonder if people are living in denial.

The world has changed and it will continue to change. Many of our favorite places may not reopen. Schools will remain closed until September 2020. No summer youth programs that create jobs for many young people who need them. Some people may not be able to return to their former places of employment. Summer might be cancelled. Meaning, no public concerts, closed beaches, and limitation on the use of public parks. On a personal note, I will continue to shelter in place teaching at home, my 45 minutes daily walks. I shop for food once a week, and work two days a week in a group home as a resident counselor. I have learned to be patient through this process finding ways to be creative. Unlike others I am in no hurry to race back out into society. No, I am not going to live in fear, just going to proceed with caution. My suggestion to others If you need to go out proceed with caution. We still don’t know  the who, what, when or where? There are so many conspiracy theories, and other peoples opinions on what they think is right.  I understand that the economy needs to be rebooted. The ease of social distancing doesn’t mean that all is well.

We may never know when all will be well. 

Thank you for stopping by Dragthepen.

 

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My Purpose

Dear Readers,

Good day. This is the day that Lord has made rejoice. If this is your first time following me welcome 💖. I am J. Rahshemah Floyd creator of Conversations with J. R. And the blog @ Dragthepen.wordpress. I created these forums to discuss topics that have created division between men and women, and have caused family’s to become dysfunctional. Often you will hear me on my You Tube channel discussing difficult topics that few people will address. It is the hide issues that hinder us from being true to who we are and from developing good long lasting loving relationships. My purpose is not to blame, degrade, disrespect, or to be sexist. My goal is to inform, uplift, enlightened and to empower. Today’s question, what are we as a society teaching women? We live in a culture that turns a blinds eye when women all over the world are forcing themselves to engage in sexual activity even when they are not in the mood. SOCIETY TELLS there duty to keep their man happy. Please think about the emotional and mental anguish this contributions to women becoming damaged. Thank you for reading. For more topics subscribe to my you tube channel @ Conversations with J. R. Floyd💖

 

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When

Dear readers,

Don’t live your life singing the” When” song.  Most people think  they that need certain conditions in their life to be happy. Although, in some cases this may be true, but putting off certain goals that we have control over only leads to time wasted and regrets. Don’t be one of those people who say things like, when I acquire an education I will be happy. When I earn more money then I can travel and see the world. When I move into a better house then I can enjoy myself. When I lose the weight then I will look better. When my children grow up then I can concentrate on my life. When I save up a certain amount of money then I will feel secure. When I have time I will start or finish that project. When….When…. the time to live life is now. Each day we should experience something new, and  most importantly, make time for the people in our life who truly matter. The time is now….. When may never come.

What Say you?

J. R. Floyd

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Brokenness

Dear readers,

When God said, “It is not good for man to be alone. I will make him a helper” his originals intention of creating a helper (partner) is for man and woman to walk together side by side as comparable partners. In today’s society, people in partnerships (relationships) are struggling to raise above the nonsense of unrealistic  rules set forth by a society that thrives on dividing men and women by creating foolish  relationship does and don’ts aimed at suppressing women thus moving men in a place of superiority. The main cause for partnerships falling apart is the need for control resulting in the partnership becoming a dictatorship because there is a feeling of OWNERSHIP. People become trapped in these types of partnerships and they often become a dangerous and violent situation. The question is not why, but how. During the dating or courtship, stage the individual who wished to woo their perspective partner will show who they need to be until they are sure that they have completely captured their perspective partner under a spell of lust and love, this is when they show their true self. And the true self isn’t the person who enticed them. Millions of men and women are taught misleading lessons about their role in a partnership, they are told false relationship myths, and bear the wounds of destructive relationships. Some experiences come in the form of dysfunctional families, spousal and child abuse, and abandonment issue meaning that some people choose to remain in a dictatorship in fear of being alone. Men and women are  burden with mistrust and lack the knowledge and skills to communicate their emotions, so they suffer in silence. Partnerships are hindered by the baggage that each person has not resolved thus expecting their mate to be their therapist. Men and women feel the need to control their partner because they have lived a life where others had control over them and they could fight back. These personality types will slowly crush their partners mentally, verbally, emotionally, sexually and financially. These cycles of abuse people have experienced in their past. Sadly, we obverse partnerships like these in our own families, and among our friends, people whisper about the abuse, but do not speak out. Until we as a society understand that, sometimes it also takes a village to help develop and sustain healthy and long-lasting partnerships by addressing the brokenness of each individual the cycle will continue. Thus creating the next generations of broken partnerships, haven’t we had enough?

What say You?

 

 

Independence Versus Dependence

Dear readers,

Independence or self sufficient, in my opinion, has too many “SELFS”, self – sufficiency, self  governed, self- rule, self-determined, and self-reliance. There are songs and poems written about being Independent. Just for a moment think about this, are we truly independent. The truth is we don’t think about how dependent we are on the air we breathe, the food we eat to sustains our bodies, the money we earn, and for love and compassion from our family and friends. Although these things are conceivably true, we live in a society that imparts individualism, the moral worth of the individual. However, Charles R. Swindoll, wrote that, we are truly not independent. When the wind of adversity blows hard against our soul. we cannot make it on our own. We were created for dependence, not independence. We need each other.

What say you?

The Relationship Talk

You said “I’m running away,” but when I look down my feet are firmly planted on the ground.

You said, “I’m not willing to give in and let myself go.”

So, I said, “self-let’s think about this running away, giving in and letting go.” I’ve spent many days and nights pondering silently and sometimes speaking aloud about this “running away, giving in and letting go.” And I’ve come to concluded; what I am running away from the old stale, complacent, routine of a “RELATIONSHIP,” and the lack of romance, no not sexual intercourse, but good ole fashion remember the flowers, a love note or card, holding hands and a gift on date night just because.

I’m running away from being suffocated by a partner who continually whimpering about the lack of attention, which translates into not enough sex. Running from the idea that I owe wifely duties without the ring. Running away from not being supported, respected, valued and permitted space to grow as an individual.  Running away from the proposed thinking that we are one, Yep, when I think about it, I am running……..

Part 2, the unwillingness to give in. I do not quit comprehend what is meant by the term “give in.” Repeatedly in my mind I said “give in; give in” until the meaning became clear, don’t you mean, “Give up?”  Give up my time, passion and aspirations for the well-being of the “RELATIONSHIP” because there is no longer me, I, or self, but we, us and ours.

Finally, “letting myself go.” Hmmmmm…Go where and why? Do you mean immersing myself into the abyss of the “RELATIONSHIP” so deep that I forget who I am, and what I want out of this life, my life? Do you see where I am going with this?  I am running away, unwilling to give in and not letting go because…………..maybe you don’t need to know why?

This is what you should know. I would run towards and hold onto a man who truly understands and illustrates the qualities of what it means to be committed “PARTNERSHIP.” I am willing to give into and let myself go to walk on the wild side, with a man who accepts me as I am and sees’ the value of having me as their life partner.

I would like to feel secure and cared for by a man who is supportive of my career goals, ministry, and love for pets, romance and quite time. I am not willing to run to or give into and let myself go for a temporary lay or for Mr. Right now. I am willing to take a chance on always and forever.

What Say You?

Reality Check

Dear readers,

Lately, I’ve called attention to people’s mannerism or lack thereof, and the words that we use or have taken out of our vocabulary. My parents raised me and my siblings to see the good in people, to share, be kind, and if we didn’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.  I know that their instructions were given with love and for intention, to see their children mature into caring adults. However, they were raised during an era when people had different values, and family and community was a very important part of everyday life.

Fast-forward………. Today most people don’t think in terms of what’s good for their community or family. It is difficult for me to come to terms with the truth that are “Self-thinking.” And that Self-centered people don’t have any sentiments about the impact that their negative, selfish, and arrogance have on others. Recently, my blinders were unkindly ripped from my eye, to my astonishment I’ve been living in denial. Let the truth be told, people have become cold and malicious, I regret that there is no “Nice” way to say this. I’ve spent too much time making excuses for people who aren’t “good.” I’ve gave freely of my time to people who didn’t deserve it.  My time would have been better spent volunteering at an animal shelter. First, for my love of cats and dogs, second, they are deserving of the love and the time I give to them.

Now, the last part of my parent advice, “say something nice” I’m happy that I no longer exist in denial, and that the blinders are off, it never too late to learn. I intend to be on my guard, I will ask questions, no longer will I give freely of my time, and finally, everyone who smiles or calls me friend don’t necessarily have good intentions.

What say you.

Family Ties

Dear readers,

It’s easy to become routine about the things we say we are grateful for like, life, good health shelter, and our daily bread. On Sunday, March 26, 2017, the day after my birthday, while having dinner with my sisters I was reflecting on the importance of staying connected to family. Sometimes when we feel that life is empty because we lack an intimate or should I say romantic relationship, however, this may not be the whole truth. Examine closely the time spent away from family, this might be the connection that your heart is yearning for. Family should never be taken for granted, Because at the close of the day all we have is God and Family.

What Say You?

The Conversation

Dear readers, Sixteen days into the new year. Question how is those RESOLUTIONS working for you?

Well, if you haven’t read my post the Bucket list versus Resolutions, I’ve come across a list of 20 Questions by  author Martha  Nibley Beck,   an American sociologist, life coach, best-selling author, and speaker who specializes in helping individuals and groups achieve personal and professional goals.

Maybe its time to stop looking at that list of New Years Resolutions and have a serious conversation with yourself. Its Martha Beck’s theory  that these 20 question will help you to find the answers to some of life’s dilemmas by asking  the right questions.

  1. What questions should I be asking myself?
  2. Is this what I want to be doing?
  3. Why worry?
  4. Why do I like ________ more than I like _____?
  5. How do I want the world to be different because I lived  in it?
  6. How do I want to be different because I live in the world?
  7. Are vegans better people?
  8. What is my body telling me?
  9. How much junk could a chic chick if a chic chick could chuck junk?
  10. What’s so funny?
  11. Where am I wrong?
  12. What potential memories am I bartering, and is the profit worth the price?
  13. Am I the only one struggling not to ____?
  14. What do I love to practice?
  15. Where could I work less and achieve more?
  16. How can I keep myself absolutely safe?
  17. Where should I break the rules?
  18. So say I lived in that fabulous house in Tuscany, with untold wealth, a gorgeous , adoring mate, and a full staff of servants…then what?
  19. Are my thoughts hurting or healing?
  20. Really truly: Is this what I want to be doing?

What Say you?

HEARSAY

Truth Lies Buttons Shows Honest Or Dishonesty

Dear readers,

They Say, “Confession is good for the soul.”

Others say, “Speaking truth is our moral duty.”

I say, most people have been in a situation when being honest turned into bending the truth. I’m not a supporter of people who tell bold-faced lies, there is no excuse for lying. When I speak about bending the truth I mean trying to spare a person pain. But is hiding information from an individual in their best interest not to know the truth, despite the discomfort that reality will caused them.

Wasn’t there a game show in the 70’s or 80’s called “Truth or Consequence?”

When we are sworn into a court of law, we swear to “tell the truth and nothing but the truth.” Parents teach their children to be honest, no matter what the situation, they must tell the truth. While in the process of development a relationship whether imitate or a friendship, we hold others to be trustworthy. Yet, in many of these scenarios there may be a breach of trust because the truth is hidden behind little while lies.

What say you?

I challenge you to speak the truth

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