People are saying that they are looking for love, I didn’t know that love was lost. Did you? What kinda love are people looking for, emotional love, puppy love, love at first sight, dysfunctional love, or unconditional love. Where is love hiding? Is it in the closet, under the bed, in the attic or has love been misplaced? Who are people seeking love from? Love of a parent, sibling, friend, partner, child, God, or a pet. How do we define this love people are yearning for, and will they recognize this love if they find it? On the flip side, I hear people say that there is no love in this world. People are of the opinion that we live in a society that ranks acceptance of others based on the haves and have-nots. In other words, people will love you based on the price tag of the material items you give them instead of accepting old fashioned virtues like honesty, respect, values, good morals, family values, monogamy, and a belief in marriage and partnership. Nowadays, people are seeking to engage in a situation- ship they do so with a closed heart, because a situation-ship is a temporary state the theory is that being in a long term partnership is considered a situation that is outdated. Recently, I was made aware of the new roles women play in a man’s life. If she is deemed the lucky she gets to be the wife, then comes the boo who wants to be the wife, followed by the main side piece, ending with just plain old side chick. During the process of this one man running around with three outside women while trying to keep the home life happy he is labeled community property by the women who is sharing him. Where is the LOVE? The love that our grandparents and parents had, that pure untainted love that endured the test of hardships, the love that made them hold onto each other as if life itself depended on it.
The love that forgave minor offenses. The love that didn’t diminish due to separation. The love that remained long after a spouse has departed. People are seeking what’s missing from their lives. Someone they can bond with on a level of complete honesty and openness, someone with sincere and pure intentions, and a person who keeps his or her word. A dependable person who seeks the greater good of happiness for the pure pleasure of seeing the joy in their partners eyes. A true friend and confidant.Someone who will keep their secrets, laugh at their jokes, won’t judge them for their dreams, shield tears with them behind closed doors, endure their faults, a strong shoulder to lean on, and someone who believes in them. This is what most people are seeking. Love is deep and it takes time to develop a sincere connection and lasting bond. Love isn’t instant gratification or a band aid solution. Love can be expressed in many different ways. When People say they are looking for love. I say, look around love is everywhere.
In 2016, I embarked on a journey to explore the world of creative writing and a funny thing happened I discovered that I have a knack for telling stories and blogging about life. So, here I am three years later, and my journey has been awesome to say the least. I have self-published two short novels, The Waiting Game, a memoir of my struggles with relationship myths and how believing these myths can be damaging to women’s self-esteem. A Different Flavor of Love, chronicles the journey of a young single mother search for true love. The best news is that I created a You Tube channel, Conversations with J. R. Floyd, dedicated to exploring relationships and the lack of moral values. This has been an amazing journey of up and downs, self-discovery and renewal. I have arrived at an awareness of talents that pushed me to take risks and step outside of certain limitations to understand that I am capable of so much more than settling for the status quo. So, here I am introducing myself to the world an unknown writer, blogger and talk show host. My mission is to take my readers and viewers on a journey of discovering life beyond borders. Each month I will share what’s new in the world of J. R. Floyd, offer some tidbits of knowledge and mention some good reads, healthy life style choices, and share with you my latest episode from Conversations with J. R. Floyd. In the meantime, I encourage you to purchase one of my books available on amazon. Until then, the wait is over the choice is yours. Let’s have a Conversation.
There is a Rap song titled “We came from nothing” and an old church hymn that talks about building a house on a solid foundation. When I think of a solid foundation, I think of family. civilization was created with the idea family being the fabric that holds society together. Family is where children are supposed to learn the values and morals of life. The knowledge passed into children from their grandparents are words of wisdom that is the sum of their life experience and struggles they have conquered.
Family is where mothers teach daughters how to be domestic divas and at the same time how to be self-sufficient, while preparing to meet their life partners. Family is where fathers educate their sons how to respect women and what their responsibilities are to their future wives and children. Family is where children learn to love, share, communicate and stay close to their siblings.
Our family’s teach the importance of honoring our elders and never forgetting those who passed on. Family is where babies are celebrated and weddings are a serious extended family event, and death is seen as a home going not the end. In a perfect world, this would make sense.
Nowadays, the family structure is broken and seems damaged beyond repair. Divorce has swept through generations if to say the only way to be happy is to remain single. Mothers burdened with the task of raising multiple children by different fathers. Men are running from home to home spreading their seeds without looking back to see them to maturity. Grandparents are now parents to children parents felt that parenthood is too burdensome. Aunts and Uncles have become best friends to their nieces and nephews, instead of being role models of good leadership and guidance to help younger family members to navigate a world of hate and misery.
I remember growing up eating at a long wooden table this was a sacred time for my family. We waited for family members to arrive for the pleasure of sharing a meal. We did not answer the phone or watch TV. We sat, ate, talked, and laughed. As I got older, the family dinner table became the place were serious family matters were discussed and solved. Sunday was family day, a day relatives anticipated these weekly visits. Nowadays, there are no weekly visits or calls just to say,” hi, how are you.” No one sends cards by snail mail anymore, and we texted instead of letting our voices be heard.
We carry senseless grudges until somebody dies and then we live with the guilt of not asking for forgiveness while they were alive. Children thrown out of their homes at 18 because parents feel it is time for them to go. The visits to elderly family members get less and less, we have replaced time spend in person with technology. We have allowed the grind for that next promotion to get the new car or the bigger house, and spend less and less time with family. In addition, parents are over scheduling children in extra after school activities to keep them busy.
Take a second and think. Do you wish for the days when Family was first, and everything else followed.
What say you?
People are speculating about the reason for the sudden increase of mass shootings, and other acts of terrorism. Some blame religious fanatics others claim random acts of evil. An interesting theory came from a colleague who suggests that we are the cause for these terrible events. He explains that it is our collective thinking and behavior. He also believes that society is void of basic acts of humanity, in addition, to lacking the ability to connect to simple emotions that binds us to the one true race, the human race. We stand firm in the continued practice of segregation, based on race, gender, and religious beliefs. There are those among us who are committed to the rule of a superior race deeming all others inferior. The greed of corporate America putting profits over people, instituting the practice of ruling their employees by fear, thus instilling anger, bitterness and resentment into the minds of those who are just trying to make ends meet. Genuine love and living by the motto “I am my Brother’s Keeper” is a long forgotten value. This country has given into foul play each time a particular group of people screams injustice. We live in a society where Reality TV is the norm, the conversation of the day is what happened on the show Empire, while this generation runs rampaged exploring sexuality to the tenth level; not to mention that teaching morals, ethics and good values is no longer on Americas’ agenda. We are spinning out of control, and to make matters worse, our world and religious leaders are still playing the game of separation of church and state. Therefore, these incidents will continue to happen until we decide collectively to think about the good of the one true race, the human race.
What Say You?
Lately, I’ve called attention to people’s mannerism or lack thereof, and the words that we use or have taken out of our vocabulary. My parents raised me and my siblings to see the good in people, to share, be kind, and if we didn’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. I know that their instructions were given with love and for intention, to see their children mature into caring adults. However, they were raised during an era when people had different values, and family and community was a very important part of everyday life.
Fast-forward………. Today most people don’t think in terms of what’s good for their community or family. It is difficult for me to come to terms with the truth that are “Self-thinking.” And that Self-centered people don’t have any sentiments about the impact that their negative, selfish, and arrogance have on others. Recently, my blinders were unkindly ripped from my eye, to my astonishment I’ve been living in denial. Let the truth be told, people have become cold and malicious, I regret that there is no “Nice” way to say this. I’ve spent too much time making excuses for people who aren’t “good.” I’ve gave freely of my time to people who didn’t deserve it. My time would have been better spent volunteering at an animal shelter. First, for my love of cats and dogs, second, they are deserving of the love and the time I give to them.
Now, the last part of my parent advice, “say something nice” I’m happy that I no longer exist in denial, and that the blinders are off, it never too late to learn. I intend to be on my guard, I will ask questions, no longer will I give freely of my time, and finally, everyone who smiles or calls me friend don’t necessarily have good intentions.
What say you.