WHO SAID YOU HAVE TO CHANGE?

dragthepen aka conversations with J. R. Floyd

Dear Readers, 

It is not your responsibility to change someone or make them into someone different. People are capable of change, but that should be their decision. When we encounter people, the choice is to either accept them for who they are or move on. I know that it is not easy learning to deal with other people’s pet peeves, faults, and what we see as habits. Ladies there is no prince charming so get your head out of the fairy tales, and rethink revising that long wish list of requirements for what you think will be the perfect mate. Men stop fantasizing about Beyonce or Kim Kardashian. Those are plastic Barbie dolls surgical enhanced superficial women who will not look twice at your sagging belly and receding hairline. People snap out of your daydreams and look at the person in front of you growing with disappointment because you wish she or he would change. 

There is nothing wrong with wanting to be with a physically attractive person, however sometimes beautiful people come with ugly souls and bad characteristics. It is not our responsibility to nag people into becoming the ideal mate according to the impossible Standards of beauty and materialistic needs. I have learned from years of bad choices and reading and believing self-help relationship books about ” how to have the man of my dreams” for years I worked out and starved myself to create a body that men would like, only to be ignored and ill-treated. Do not feel sorry for me this was my fault, why, because the men I encountered did not asked me to change. If they were getting their needs met, they did not care about changing me because I was already what they wanted weak and desperate.

I spent thousands on clothes, hair, make up, lingerie and time and energy to improve myself to be better, so when my prince arrived there would be nothing about me that needed to change or improve. Oh, how shallow was my thinking. I was preoccupied with my outer appearance that I was not paying attention to the fact that I was suffering from low self-worth. When people struggle with low self-esteem and self-worth that is when others prey upon them because people who struggle with lack of self-confidence will allow people to change them because of the desperation to be like, love and belong.

I strived and arrived at the age of fifty-eight. Learned many lessons through difficult experiences that did make me stronger, wiser, and proceeding with caution. I do not wish for people to change to suit me because I have learned to let people be who they are and keep checking on who I am. Remember the saying, ” be careful what you wish for because you just might get it”. When you create the monster, you must learn to live with what you created.

Together Saving the World

Word Wall part 4

Insecure, emotionally, void, compassion, dyfuncational, mean- spirited, abuse, broken, helpless, weak, strenght, fear, facade, defensive, aggressive, violence, belittle, self esteem, anger, degrading

Dear Readers,

Have you ever encountered an individual who is insecure, emotionally out of control, and they lack compassion for the pain they inflicted on others? This person is void of the world around them because they live in a bubble. Most of these emotionally broken people come from dysfunctional homes, where they witnessed or were a victims of abuse, so expressing anger and behaving in a mean-spirited manner is a normal part of who they are. They put up a façade of strength because they don’t want the appear weak and helpless. They speak negative of others, and tend to become defensive and aggressive to the point of violence. Belittling other is what they are best at because degrading others boost their low self- esteem. Sadly, there is only one word for this individual, Bully

what Say You?

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Word Wall part 3

Dear readers,

They say, ” Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never harm me”

We’ve all recited these words to ourselves after someone has said something cruel. Parents teach their children this adage insisting that it not what people say to them, rather its more important how people treat them.This might have been true years ago when people chose their words wisely. Today it’s not uncommon to hear words like:

stupid, ugly, fat, lazy, useless, damaged, poor, not good enough, weak, and hopeless

While your reading this post some where in the world someone is hearing this:

I don’t know why I bother, you’re so stupid, ugly, fat useless, weak, lazy, damaged, poor, not good enough, and your hopeless. 

Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will have a lasting effect that can leave wounds that may never heal.

what say you?

 

Just a Thought

Dear readings,

The Law of Greed and Reward: taking from the poor and giving to the rich. Wrapping ourselves in Selfish demeanor like a warm fur coat, finding Pleasure in the agony inflected on the less favorable. They say, ” I am Strong, therefore, you are Weak.” Preying on the innocent  souls who are powerless to fight back. ”  I say, Shameful.” This great universe would be a better place  of existence, if we Disconnect from the chaos, and Discover that, ” Love is the only law to obey” Ziggy Marley

What say you?

 

Word Wall part 3

Dear readers,

They say, ” Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never harm me”

We’ve all recited these words to ourselves after someone has said something cruel. Parents teach their children this adage insisting that it not what people say to them, rather its more important how people treat them.This might have been true years ago when people chose their words wisely. Today it’s not uncommon to hear words like:

stupid, ugly, fat, lazy, useless, damaged, poor, not good enough, weak, and hopeless

While your reading this post some where in the world someone is hearing this:

I don’t know why I bother, you’re so stupid, ugly, fat useless, weak, lazy, damaged, poor, not good enough, and your hopeless. 

Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will have a lasting effect that can leave wounds that may never heal.

what say you?