The downside of being a Man

Dear Readers,

Recently, I blogged about how women, partially black women who are Fed Up with lackadaisical black men.Today’s post is decicated to men who feel that they don’t have parts of them that are broken; and their need to live in denial instead of addressing what is truly nagging at them. Its easy for men to lay blame and point the finger at women for the complications they suffer. Men rely on the theory of Orginal Sin. Remember Eve, Adams wife in the garden of paradise, as the story goes she lead her man astray by convincing him to take a bite from the forbidden fruit. Nice try, but no one is buying into this lame excuse to use women as scapegoats. The truth is men have experienced tragic lost, childhood trauma, abuse, neglect, and some witnessed the abuse of their mothers, were molested, and beaten by their father’s who told them they had to be a man.
Men are under pressure to be leaders, masculine, brave, and to disconnect from their emotional needs so that they wouldn’t appear to be weak. Men have been taught to be predators, aggressive, bread winners, players, and heroes. At a young age, little boys are taught to be tuff, first lesson don’t cry, second lesson be aggressive, third lesson learn how to fight, thus this is how little boys mature into angry adults. Men are told what to feel, and how to think like a man in some cases young boys are put in charge of being the man of the house a role he knows nothing about.
Men are taught that they have to take what they want, and to keep his women in check, that he is the head of the family and his authority should not be challenged. Some men are forced into marriages due to cultural beliefs; others because of knocking someone daughter up. And there are the momma’s boy’s, their mother’s treat them like surrogate husbands, keeping them at home and discourage any women she feels isn’t good enough for her son.
Men are getting married and they are on the DL. Men are allowed to have a wife and a side chick running between two homes, trying to be a man in one, and a player in the other. Bottom line men will never admit that they are oppressed by society’s standards on what it means to be a man. For centuries men have suppressed their anger, and deny that they are emotionally broken leading them to develop dysfunctional behaviors. Its because of these reasons and more that some men find it difficult to successfully engage in a one -on- one intimate relationship. And to conceal what is broken about them they shift the burden on women citing that we are difficult, too emotional, nags, too independent, angry, and selfish.
I would like to say to men I am a mother of a wonderful son who have developed into an amazing father, and dedicated husband. He wears many hats, a Solider, football coach, church musician, and he is an excellent cook. Over the years my son has opened up to me about experiences that have caused him pain, and I am happy about the positive path he has choose  to help heal his brokenness.
The world is not the enemy its just the ridiculous standards that society has heaped upon each gender placing them at a disadvantage. We are not allowed to be our true selves, instead we are told who we need to be.

What say you?

My Amazing son who taught me how to be a better mother and about power of unconditional forgiveness.

myboy

10 thoughts on “The downside of being a Man

  1. This is a comment from one of my supporters who wanted to be anonymous . He said, there is a lot of truth to it but don’t deny that men do take responsibility for how they are. Not all do. But some do. one major issue is when a women ask a man to open up and he finds the courage to do so, she views his expression of his point of view as complaining, This leads to why men don’t express themselves. if women don’t want to listen to what men have to say then why ask. This is the reason why some men repress and move from relationship to relationship. staying silent at times does more good then taking.

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  2. I think it is so difficult to share our brokenness with others is because we have not been able to admit it to ourselves first. Then I realize aren’t we all broken in some way. That starts the path to repair. Without growth we are incapable of giving love or receiving love or even simple friendship.

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  3. Thanks to your son for his service. It’s a sacrifice I didn’t have the strength to make.

    As a male I think the key is always keeping the thought in my head. What do I want from a given situation? What is the most likely way to get there. Remembering to think about those things helps me to focus when under stress, pressure, or feeling uncomfortable.

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  4. Man and women are the same except obvious physical difference the other difference is that man are territorial to women and they like protecting their women, other than that we all the same because even man do get emotional and they cry also but now the problem is stereotype rubbed around males by the public and religion.

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      • Yes you right but now women also try to be dominant towards men which makes situation no better I think if one can read the bible and understand their positions and responsibilities as men and women.

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